Something amazing just happened to me. My daughter just called and told me she is an alcoholic/addict. I had already known this and have been extremely worried and upset. She had been in denial. She was crying saying how hard it is to tell your parents that you are an alcholic/addict. I am so damn proud of her! This step is so HUGE for her! She knows about my addiction and struggle but was still unwilling to hear from me that I thought she was an alcoholic. Just quickly: she got her second DUI last year, paid huge fine, 2dys in jail, court ordered counseling and this past weekend Fri-Sun from morning to night, counseling, meetings and groups. The hardest part she said was getting HONEST with herself. Oh how I can relate! I spent the first part of my weekend crying off and on...you know wondering how much I was to blame, how come I couldn't help her with the first hand knowledge that I have? Well, I got all that useless thinking out of my system so I could be prepared for her call today. It was a real stormy weekend here, outside the window and inside my heart and mind. She is a real good person, she is a good mother and she is taking her first steps on the recovery road. I can't wait to hold her in my arms. She is looking for meetings in her hometown already and is willing to bring me along sometimes. I know there is a long road ahead, but I thank God this has happened now and not years down the road. I know I wasted a lot of time and missed a lot of moments that I can never get back. I know there will be bumps in the road...hey that's life. But I am soooooo excited and feeling so proud of her right now. At the start of the weekend I focused on what a tragedy it is. But not now. I don't even know if I am making sense right now lol....It feels weird in a way that I should be feeling good about my daughter admitting she has an addiction problem....but what if she didn't? Oh yeah, I know the answer to that one. I am a little sad and scared, but optimistic too. Thanks for listening and keep us in your prayers please.
Jan
Jan....
Thank you for sharing and that is so awesome that your daughter is taking the steps necessary for recovery...I will keep her in my prayers...
I understand being a mother of an alcoholic/addict and for me, I just keep working on my recovery and try to lead by example and let God do the rest...
Give her big hugs and this just might take your relationship to a whole new level...God Bless!
xoxo
Stacey
Thank you for sharing and that is so awesome that your daughter is taking the steps necessary for recovery...I will keep her in my prayers...
I understand being a mother of an alcoholic/addict and for me, I just keep working on my recovery and try to lead by example and let God do the rest...
Give her big hugs and this just might take your relationship to a whole new level...God Bless!
xoxo
Stacey
That is good news Jan!
I hope that your relationship gets even better now that this is in the open.
I wish my daughter would wake up and see the damage she is doing. All I can do is pray and unfortunately limit the time she has with her son. She is bringing him into dangerous situations and we have had it.
I hope that your relationship gets even better now that this is in the open.
I wish my daughter would wake up and see the damage she is doing. All I can do is pray and unfortunately limit the time she has with her son. She is bringing him into dangerous situations and we have had it.
Thanks Stac and Janet,
I am hoping this brings us closer too. Not that we're not already, but this definitely will bring us to a whole different level. Janet I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Man, when little ones are involved I know the worry and stress. (and then your pain level goes up) Arrrrrrrrgh!!!! If they only knew what they put us through!!!
Hugs,
Jan
I am hoping this brings us closer too. Not that we're not already, but this definitely will bring us to a whole different level. Janet I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Man, when little ones are involved I know the worry and stress. (and then your pain level goes up) Arrrrrrrrgh!!!! If they only knew what they put us through!!!
Hugs,
Jan
Hey Jan,i surely can relate to your excitement.Two fo my three sons are alcoholic/addict,and its a tough row to hoe for a parent.We want so much for our children.But...until they admit they have a problem,our hands are bascially tied.Thats why your so excited,now you two can openly talk about it,go to meeting together,help each other down the right path.Thats is just wonderful news.
Ive been through it with one son and i feel good about it too,the other one,he chooses to take a longer route and a much more dangerous one.Sadly,i am of no use to him,in many ways.
Im so happy that the two of you have each other!~KIM
Ive been through it with one son and i feel good about it too,the other one,he chooses to take a longer route and a much more dangerous one.Sadly,i am of no use to him,in many ways.
Im so happy that the two of you have each other!~KIM
Thank you ladies for your kind words. My daughter and I attended an AA open Speaker meeting tonight. It was her first time. It was in a tiny classroom inside a church. Too many people packed into one small room lol...but that's not my point. I could really identify with the speaker, a woman about my age, Irish Catholic, alcoholic father, she's an alcholic with 19yrs clean and I am an addict who could be an alcoholic in the blink of an eye. What a sweet, personable woman she was with a great sense of humor. There was a mix of age ranges and male and female. My daughter actually was the last one to speak. I was surprised; well I shouldn't say that. She has always been very outgoing. I was sitting there thinking, don't call on me, please don't call on me, I just want to listen tonight. The chair must've got my vibe because I was one of the few who didn't speak lol I did get asked to read though. I said "this whole thing"? Yes the chair said just both sides of the page. HaHaHa...The only thing I disliked and this is being real picky I know....lots of people crammed into a reaaaaaly small room and we 2 as newcomers had to sit not even a foot from the front desk and speakers...eeeek. Going to check out an all women's meeting down the road a piece Wednesday night. On the ride home my daughter was psyched about going to another meeting and for that I am grateful. I need to go too. So for now, bring the body and the mind will come as they say...This is all new for me. I am still young in my recovery, but I would do anything to help stop the insanity from progressing to my daughter and her daughters and on and on. Too much, too many from my family have suffered this, it has to stop and I think this is the right way. I just can't wait to find the right "fit" for me. Maybe it won't be the same place she likes. And maybe that wouldn't work too well, us going together all the time anyway. So all in all it went quite well. Anyway, thanks for listening...
Jan
Jan
Thanks for sharing Jan...
How awesome the two of you got to share that experience...I remember in the beginning when I started attending AA meetings, it was suggested to do different meetings so I could hear all the different messages that are out there...I have found my home group but I still attend outside meetings and meet new people. For me, when I go to a meeting, I still pray before the meeting and ask God to help me to be open & willing to hear what I need to hear....Sometimes I receive the messages far from where I would have expected but that's the beauty of the program, we're all trying to stay clean & sober, one day at a time....I have a friend with 25 years and he says the key for him is to stay a newcomer & be open and willing and remember, there is no rank in the program as everybody only has a daily reprieve from this disease...
For me, the Women's meetings are some pretty powerful meetings and I enjoy them so much...Good luck Wednesday and please come back & share how it went....again, thanks for sharing <smiling>
Take care,
Stacey
How awesome the two of you got to share that experience...I remember in the beginning when I started attending AA meetings, it was suggested to do different meetings so I could hear all the different messages that are out there...I have found my home group but I still attend outside meetings and meet new people. For me, when I go to a meeting, I still pray before the meeting and ask God to help me to be open & willing to hear what I need to hear....Sometimes I receive the messages far from where I would have expected but that's the beauty of the program, we're all trying to stay clean & sober, one day at a time....I have a friend with 25 years and he says the key for him is to stay a newcomer & be open and willing and remember, there is no rank in the program as everybody only has a daily reprieve from this disease...
For me, the Women's meetings are some pretty powerful meetings and I enjoy them so much...Good luck Wednesday and please come back & share how it went....again, thanks for sharing <smiling>
Take care,
Stacey
Jan:
I was led back into the rooms of AA because of my sister. She was willing to go to any lengths to get sober I was willing to be supportive. I knew AA had worked for me before and knew she would get the help she needed. She was willing. Once I saw the light in her eyes and the transformation of hopelessness into hopeful, I wanted what she had. It was nothing short of a miracle. I had no intention of getting clean, again but by the grace of God we are both clean and sober today. Embrace the miracle! It awesome that you are both granted the gift of willingness. Thank you for sharing your story.
~Rachel
I was led back into the rooms of AA because of my sister. She was willing to go to any lengths to get sober I was willing to be supportive. I knew AA had worked for me before and knew she would get the help she needed. She was willing. Once I saw the light in her eyes and the transformation of hopelessness into hopeful, I wanted what she had. It was nothing short of a miracle. I had no intention of getting clean, again but by the grace of God we are both clean and sober today. Embrace the miracle! It awesome that you are both granted the gift of willingness. Thank you for sharing your story.
~Rachel