Hi all.This is gonna be real hard for me to admit.Im having a hard time staying where Im suppose to stay with the sub.The addict in me is starting to win & in all honesty Im really freaken mixed up.As some of you know I have some medical problem.Ones I will have for the rest of my life(IM only 37)So I do in away need the pain control.The reason I started the sub wasnt so much to stop pills but to find something that I could take that wouldnt lead me back to 17+ pills a day.Its really messed up & I am feeling really confused about it all right now.Is there anyone who would like to talk to me for a bit & maybe just talk with me so my head isnt so damn mixed up..............mj
hi molly..
i am here if you would like to talk to me... about anything... it doesnt matter...
I am sorry you are having a rough time...
Teresa
i am here if you would like to talk to me... about anything... it doesnt matter...
I am sorry you are having a rough time...
Teresa
Thank You I just dont know where my head is at lately.I know not being able to actually talk is getting to me.I have all these feelings inside that I cant talk about.The only way I can is on here and well enough said we all know I took a small break from here.Im babbling arent I?Im sorry I just feel that little addict in me wanting relief.I went on the sub as a form of pain control & like any other drug I am starting to take more than I should.
What really really sucks is I am more than ready to go to therapy Ive wanted to for this past 2 mths,but (this isnt an excuse)I cannot speak at all.Whatever is in my throat is making it hard to speak,when I eat I have to cough to get the food down +my chrons has been feeling like alittle man with a red hot poker stabbing me....maybe I just....Im REALLY ANGRY WITH MYSELF & DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.Knowing that I need pain meds & knowing I ALWAYS get out of hand.Comming here & admitting this is so damn hard for me
What really really sucks is I am more than ready to go to therapy Ive wanted to for this past 2 mths,but (this isnt an excuse)I cannot speak at all.Whatever is in my throat is making it hard to speak,when I eat I have to cough to get the food down +my chrons has been feeling like alittle man with a red hot poker stabbing me....maybe I just....Im REALLY ANGRY WITH MYSELF & DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.Knowing that I need pain meds & knowing I ALWAYS get out of hand.Comming here & admitting this is so damn hard for me
Molly,
Sorry to hear your feeling bad. If you need to talk you can IM me anytime. I will unblock my screen name for ya. I don't know if I can help but Teresa and I are listening. How much sub are you taking? Honestly, we understand what your going through we all have our problems. Rae
Sorry to hear your feeling bad. If you need to talk you can IM me anytime. I will unblock my screen name for ya. I don't know if I can help but Teresa and I are listening. How much sub are you taking? Honestly, we understand what your going through we all have our problems. Rae
maybe you just what?..... molly you got to talk to someone... one here or to someone....
I am sorry but I dont remember what is wrong with your throat.. but if you are getting to the point that you are having a hard time swallowing seems like you would be an extreme choking risk... this concerns me greatly....
It is good that you are aware of 'your little addict in you' but you know that this thing with the sub is just the result of the powerlessness we all have over our disease... the pain that you have phyisically is just side bar and the sub is just the band aid... all of us are powerless over our addiction... molly I am sooo sorry you have so much on your plate right now... I wish I could help...
please finish your thoughts from the previous thread....I want to hear what you have to say... even if it is just you getting things off your chest...
oh and btw.. I am sorry you felt that you had to take a break from here... and for my part in that... i hope you can over look all that.. and let me try to help you... or just let me listen..
Teresa
I am sorry but I dont remember what is wrong with your throat.. but if you are getting to the point that you are having a hard time swallowing seems like you would be an extreme choking risk... this concerns me greatly....
It is good that you are aware of 'your little addict in you' but you know that this thing with the sub is just the result of the powerlessness we all have over our disease... the pain that you have phyisically is just side bar and the sub is just the band aid... all of us are powerless over our addiction... molly I am sooo sorry you have so much on your plate right now... I wish I could help...
please finish your thoughts from the previous thread....I want to hear what you have to say... even if it is just you getting things off your chest...
oh and btw.. I am sorry you felt that you had to take a break from here... and for my part in that... i hope you can over look all that.. and let me try to help you... or just let me listen..
Teresa
Molly are you still there if you need to talk I dont know if I can help but I am here for you if you need me
Hi Rae and Teresa..
Hi Rae and Teresa..
molly.
I am going now.... paula and rae are on... I hope you feel better and more confident soon... please know that my thoughts will be with you and a few others on here today....
God Bless
Teresa
( Hi paula and Rae.)
I am going now.... paula and rae are on... I hope you feel better and more confident soon... please know that my thoughts will be with you and a few others on here today....
God Bless
Teresa
( Hi paula and Rae.)
Hi Teresa and bye also LOL>. have a good day
Molly are you still there
Molly are you still there
mj whats goin on fly girl?just a question,do you think part of the problem might stem from the sub?and i'm talkin about the mental aspect to,believe me that stuff will make you nuts after useing it for a long time,i just don't want you to be sad or sick............vinny.
To all that responded I want to thank you all for wanting to be there.But 2 close friends are talking with me off the board & I am feeling alittle better.I will come and finish my thoughts but right now I just needed a private talk.I hope you all understand that & know that you guys that wanted to help I LUV YOU ALL.Be back soon.....mj
Molly,
The problem that you are having swallowing may be related to a hiatal hernia or it may be that you have a stricture in your throat. Both of these conditions can be easily taken care of. Also stress will give you the same symptons. I suggest a follow-up with your PCP.
As was suggested, please continue to share........a problem shared with just one person is a problem halved.
God bless,
The problem that you are having swallowing may be related to a hiatal hernia or it may be that you have a stricture in your throat. Both of these conditions can be easily taken care of. Also stress will give you the same symptons. I suggest a follow-up with your PCP.
As was suggested, please continue to share........a problem shared with just one person is a problem halved.
God bless,
Hello all I wanted just to come on & open up alittle.I feel you guys have opened up to me I should trust you all alittle.
As some of you may of read I have a problem with my throat.
5 years ago I had scar tissue build up on my vocal cords.I had surgery & I was told then that this is something that will most likely keep comming back for the rest of my life.Well here it is 5 years later & Im hopen its the same thing again.You see I havent been able to speak for 2 mths now.Those of you that have children know just how hard it is NOT to talk to them or your husbands or wifes.So for 2 mths this place & my emails are really the only way I could talk.
Anyways I say I hope its the same because it feels different this time.This time there is a nickel size lump in my throat & when I eat I have to cough to get the food down.
Now today I just needed to reach out.I know Ive been abusing the sub,I almost def know why & I just couldnt keep it in any longer.As of tomarrow my sweet loving BF will be taken them to work with him.Tomarrow I also see the throat DR so maybe I can get some answer.
Im sorry this turned into a book but as I said I finally got to my limit of holding it in.In one final thing that i feel I NEED to say is that I really thank the ones who responded it means alot to me that even though we may not speak on here much that you were willing to take the time for me.I ended up off the board talking to 2 dear friends.I just felt more comfortable that way.But you caring means alot & once again thank you all.You made me remember what a great support this place can be..............MJ
As some of you may of read I have a problem with my throat.
5 years ago I had scar tissue build up on my vocal cords.I had surgery & I was told then that this is something that will most likely keep comming back for the rest of my life.Well here it is 5 years later & Im hopen its the same thing again.You see I havent been able to speak for 2 mths now.Those of you that have children know just how hard it is NOT to talk to them or your husbands or wifes.So for 2 mths this place & my emails are really the only way I could talk.
Anyways I say I hope its the same because it feels different this time.This time there is a nickel size lump in my throat & when I eat I have to cough to get the food down.
Now today I just needed to reach out.I know Ive been abusing the sub,I almost def know why & I just couldnt keep it in any longer.As of tomarrow my sweet loving BF will be taken them to work with him.Tomarrow I also see the throat DR so maybe I can get some answer.
Im sorry this turned into a book but as I said I finally got to my limit of holding it in.In one final thing that i feel I NEED to say is that I really thank the ones who responded it means alot to me that even though we may not speak on here much that you were willing to take the time for me.I ended up off the board talking to 2 dear friends.I just felt more comfortable that way.But you caring means alot & once again thank you all.You made me remember what a great support this place can be..............MJ
Hey MJ, I am so sorry for how you are feeling, It must be very frustrating to not be able to talk. I hope you Dr visit goes well, keep in mind, there might be advancements in medical procedures in the last 5 years that will enable them to clear this thing up once and for all. Just something to think about.
Hugs and love.
Best Regards,
Tom
Hugs and love.
Best Regards,
Tom
Glad you find someone to confide in MJ
Good luck
JohnDee
Good luck
JohnDee
Molly, you are wasting your money if you "think" you are abusing your sub. You can't get high from it, what the hell are you thinking?? You need to go to your doctor and have that scar tissue stretch out. I've known a few friends with this problem. You go to the hospital -- outpatient-- and they stretch out that scar tissue so you can swallow and speak. That lasts for 6-9 months (individual cases) and then do it again. There is a name for that and I can't think of it. Go to your doctor. And please get those other records from the doctor who diagnosed you! You are not being good to yourself. Take care of yourself, please!!
Hey Molly,
It's nice to see you back here but I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now.I hope the Dr.s can help you out with that soon here. Life is too short to have that discomfort. Take Care and hang in there.
Love,
Liz
It's nice to see you back here but I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now.I hope the Dr.s can help you out with that soon here. Life is too short to have that discomfort. Take Care and hang in there.
Love,
Liz
i'm praying for you MJ god bless you
U r not mixed up just sorting out somethings. I will be her to listen and share when u r ready.
Take Care.
Tina aka Kyra
Take Care.
Tina aka Kyra
Miss MJ, you are such a sweet and wonderful person. What are you mixed up about? You're medical situation? I don't know if you have my email..but here it is two24fans@aol.com Please send me a note anytime if you want to talk, I hope I can be of help if not I will be supportive in whatever you choose. Sometimes people need to be on meds their whole life, and you might be one of them, if that is the case...maybe someone can help you? A friend of mine, has had numerous surgeries on his back, and has some kind of electrical shock thing in his spine..anyway he will be on Oxycontin for the rest of his life, and his wife dispenses his pills everyday, every 5-6 hours, that way he doesn't abuse them. I am so proud of you for realizing the little addict in you, and how we are so powerless..but do you think maybe you suffer from depression too? This thing with your throat has lasted such a long time, that maybe brought on depression? I am really worried about the swallowing part, you have a huge risk of choking! Please talk to the Dr asap. I don't want anything to happen to you. Good luck to you, and don't hesitate to send an email if you feel the need..Gob bless you, chicky..Kim
