hi moderators.
thought it time to ask you to take a read thru the 'letting go' thread which was started on 12/29/04. it's also noted as an 'active forum topics'. it was great till an entry by unregistered 'cary' (and questionable others) on 2/22/05.
too bad you shoud know. the forum is now losing members.
i am on my way, i no longer feel safe here.
but i ask you to take a look and consider the banter and the mean spirit such posts are intened. certainly a turn-off to anyone new and seeking help. for sure not what other key members need in their midst. further this is certainly not the kind of help anyone needs.
AND for sure not the talk of someone is praciting the program they write about but that of a person more than angry at their own addiction(s) lashing out at others who are sincere and trying...
i think that's why it just p's me off!
please take a read. please consider it and i hope you can block/ban this poor soul from the entire message board.
best to you.
peace,
jane
Jane, AEA, Riki, August, anyone else who feels betrayed,
I hate what has happened here. For the past five months this forum has offered me much guidance and support, and had given me the strength to continue to remain pot free, even when I didn't believe in myself. I hope I have never said anything to offend or betray any of you. We all struggle with trying to leave pot in our past, and I like to think we all leaned on and learned from each other. Often times what kept me able to refrain from smoking that joint was reading your stories. I appreciate your posting, I think you were brave to do so because on some level it had to be easier to not post, and pretend you hadn't smoked, but instead of being dishonest and saying nothing, you disclosed everything, and while some have chosen to ridicule you for that I would like to commend you. I understand if you no longer wish to post here but I hope that doesn't mean we lose contact. I think you all deserve credit for enabling me to remain clean, and I would also like to remind you, I failed many times before I was able to have any success. I still consider myself fragile, but confident I can do this, however I will feel lost without you all. Please know I'm thinking of you all. If you choose please feel free to contact me at rubie837@yahoo.com. I'm a better person having known each of you. Be well. Thanks for everything.
rubie
I hate what has happened here. For the past five months this forum has offered me much guidance and support, and had given me the strength to continue to remain pot free, even when I didn't believe in myself. I hope I have never said anything to offend or betray any of you. We all struggle with trying to leave pot in our past, and I like to think we all leaned on and learned from each other. Often times what kept me able to refrain from smoking that joint was reading your stories. I appreciate your posting, I think you were brave to do so because on some level it had to be easier to not post, and pretend you hadn't smoked, but instead of being dishonest and saying nothing, you disclosed everything, and while some have chosen to ridicule you for that I would like to commend you. I understand if you no longer wish to post here but I hope that doesn't mean we lose contact. I think you all deserve credit for enabling me to remain clean, and I would also like to remind you, I failed many times before I was able to have any success. I still consider myself fragile, but confident I can do this, however I will feel lost without you all. Please know I'm thinking of you all. If you choose please feel free to contact me at rubie837@yahoo.com. I'm a better person having known each of you. Be well. Thanks for everything.
rubie
hi rubie- i will be in touch. you have been an inspiration to me.
it is disgraceful what has happened here.
i hope the moderators will do something.
keeping the faith.
jane
it is disgraceful what has happened here.
i hope the moderators will do something.
keeping the faith.
jane
Dear All
Please remember we are all writing into this message board because we are seeking strength with what haunts us and that is pot. Please note that several of us are at different levels of addiction, and of all ages and creeds. Some of us feel that we must be sweet talked and seduced into recovery, while others require a tough love approach, I have been at both ends of the recovery spectrum, and one thing I notice is the older one gets in this addction, the less
sweet words help. A harder approach is needed(at least for awhile) like boot camp. I ask that we all be tolerant of all views and realize we are all looking for help (and therapy ). I still think that this is one of the strongest message boards for marijuana recovery. Those who are distraught at the comments made here lately please do not despair, this board is like any AA or NA(minus reading the 12 steps)different people all of the time with all of their monsters waiting to be exorcised,
some will survive the program other will make their remarks and lose themselves
this is how addiction recovery is. Best of luck
Please remember we are all writing into this message board because we are seeking strength with what haunts us and that is pot. Please note that several of us are at different levels of addiction, and of all ages and creeds. Some of us feel that we must be sweet talked and seduced into recovery, while others require a tough love approach, I have been at both ends of the recovery spectrum, and one thing I notice is the older one gets in this addction, the less
sweet words help. A harder approach is needed(at least for awhile) like boot camp. I ask that we all be tolerant of all views and realize we are all looking for help (and therapy ). I still think that this is one of the strongest message boards for marijuana recovery. Those who are distraught at the comments made here lately please do not despair, this board is like any AA or NA(minus reading the 12 steps)different people all of the time with all of their monsters waiting to be exorcised,
some will survive the program other will make their remarks and lose themselves
this is how addiction recovery is. Best of luck
Hello All,
We've been reading the posts and have witnessed some of the recent discord between some. I haven't seen behavior that justifies us "intervening" to the point of preventing others from posting here, but would like to share our perspective in hopes of encouraging peace and tolerance.
From our perspective we see both sides of the equation and do agree, in part, with both viewpoints. When tough love doesn't work it often has the opposite effect on people who will close off and repel. To this perspective, we say after you state your viewpoint, please take a step or two back. Shoving the message down their throats usually doesn't work, and too much of it will motivate them to run to the nearest exit. To the other perspective, we say please try to be tolerant and if you do not agree with one's input and if it becomes clear after an exchange or two that they do not agree with you, please take what you can and leave the rest. Angry reactions have a way of facilitating disputes that inevitably seem to fall on deaf ears.
We will continue to keep a close eye on this forum and hope that people can feel safe posting here with a focus on addiction recovery.
Kindest Regards
We've been reading the posts and have witnessed some of the recent discord between some. I haven't seen behavior that justifies us "intervening" to the point of preventing others from posting here, but would like to share our perspective in hopes of encouraging peace and tolerance.
From our perspective we see both sides of the equation and do agree, in part, with both viewpoints. When tough love doesn't work it often has the opposite effect on people who will close off and repel. To this perspective, we say after you state your viewpoint, please take a step or two back. Shoving the message down their throats usually doesn't work, and too much of it will motivate them to run to the nearest exit. To the other perspective, we say please try to be tolerant and if you do not agree with one's input and if it becomes clear after an exchange or two that they do not agree with you, please take what you can and leave the rest. Angry reactions have a way of facilitating disputes that inevitably seem to fall on deaf ears.
We will continue to keep a close eye on this forum and hope that people can feel safe posting here with a focus on addiction recovery.
Kindest Regards
i intentionally waited a while before posting this.
just to straighten up the record here, there were some threats made on this board, made in anger, and i'm glad to see they have been removed. the threats were not made by me, but against me and to me. i guess they were made so that other readers wouldn't put any credance in what i had to say. or so i wouldn't say anything further on a public forum and on a very public message board. maybe so that i would just go away. be silenced.
i don't play the victim very well, so i can't say that they bothered me a whole lot.
many times, threats are made by addicts to protect their addiction. and i understand that. i personally don't appreciate the use of foul language, but that's the way it is sometimes.
some just don't want to be challenged or advised, and that's ok. some want to be coddled, and i suppose that's ok too. makes them feel better for the moment. not sure what it does for their recovery efforts, but to each his or her own.
many come here looking for the truth. or the closest thing they can find to the truth. because they expect the truth to help them.
i do want to say this, and i can say it without fear of contradiction: readers and posters on this board are not the enemy. augustwest is not the enemy. straight talkers are not the enemy. "12 steppers," as some call them in a very deliberate and condescending way beacuse they promote a spiritual way of life, are not the enemy. bubbas are not the enemy. beachcombers are not the enemy. country people are not the enemy. city dwellers are not the enemy. God lovers are not the enemy. God is not the enemy. i am not the enemy.
the enemy is addiction. substance addiction. and it is a disease.
and it manifests itself in hopelessness, anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of motivation, depression, criminal activity, drug pushers getting wealthy, lies, secrets, loss of control, brain damage, wasted time and life, lack of attention to family, lack of concentration, wasted money and other resources, secretive behaviors, damage to children, and negative impacts on relationships, to name just a few. it's effects are guilt, shame, remorse, loss of self esteem.
my name is cary . . . . . and i am not a victim and i am not the enemy.
Cary, I for one am glad that you are here. This site was beginning to devolve into some kind of mutual cheerleading society where one was told that quitting was simply a matter of soft words of encouragement. That never worked for me and I doubt that it works for most of the addicts out there. We can always come up with a reason why it is OK to smoke today. I listed 26 of them on another thread.
I tried to quit on my terms for years. I have a tendency to negotiate everything. Whether I am buying a car, dealing with a contractor, discussing a medical problem or contemplating ceasing living as a slave to my addiction, I want to negotiate all of these on terms that are convenient and satisfactory to me. While this is highly valued if one is consummating a business deal, it fails miserably when it comes to things like cancer and addiction. Sometimes we run into an adversary that is too formidable to coral into our tactical web.
It is easy for me to look back now and see that my desiring to quit on my terms was simply an aspect of my addiction. We addicts are supreme control freaks, and the more helpless and powerless we feel over our drug use, the more we try to seize control of extraneous aspects of our lives.
I did the same thing with my cancer. I could not control the cancer so I would try to control other aspects of my life, such as how I dealt with things like treatment protocols. I tried to out work my disease. In the end, I had to acknowledge that I was simply playing a shill game with my life. I had to locate a team of people I trusted and vest in them my faith and confidence that they could guide me back to health.
Recovery worked the same way. Time and time again the initial inspiration to quit would give way for the need to escape. I would resume my using and try to control it for awhile but sooner or later, it always got out of control. The more out of control my using would get, the more I would try to control other aspects of my life, as if to convince myself that the pot was not the problem.
In the end, I had to let go of the foolish notion that I could cease using marijuana but otherwise continue my life exactly as it was, in a manner that was convenient for me. I had to own up to the fact that my best thinking had gotten me down in the hole, and that same thinking was not going to get me out without help. I had to look deep and find a seed of integrity where I sought not to be in control, but rather to do whatever it took to free myself from the addiction.
I was lucky. I started by placing my faith in those who had gone on before me. I learned to keep an open mind and I strived to return to a state where I would again become teachable. I let go of my need to be the Director of the play and instead, learned to accept direction through the suggestions of those I respected and who had successfully freed themselves from addiction.
When I succumbed to my addiction, I waived the right to do things my way. Funny, in the process accepting help to climb out of the hole of addiction, my entire life changed for the better.
August
I tried to quit on my terms for years. I have a tendency to negotiate everything. Whether I am buying a car, dealing with a contractor, discussing a medical problem or contemplating ceasing living as a slave to my addiction, I want to negotiate all of these on terms that are convenient and satisfactory to me. While this is highly valued if one is consummating a business deal, it fails miserably when it comes to things like cancer and addiction. Sometimes we run into an adversary that is too formidable to coral into our tactical web.
It is easy for me to look back now and see that my desiring to quit on my terms was simply an aspect of my addiction. We addicts are supreme control freaks, and the more helpless and powerless we feel over our drug use, the more we try to seize control of extraneous aspects of our lives.
I did the same thing with my cancer. I could not control the cancer so I would try to control other aspects of my life, such as how I dealt with things like treatment protocols. I tried to out work my disease. In the end, I had to acknowledge that I was simply playing a shill game with my life. I had to locate a team of people I trusted and vest in them my faith and confidence that they could guide me back to health.
Recovery worked the same way. Time and time again the initial inspiration to quit would give way for the need to escape. I would resume my using and try to control it for awhile but sooner or later, it always got out of control. The more out of control my using would get, the more I would try to control other aspects of my life, as if to convince myself that the pot was not the problem.
In the end, I had to let go of the foolish notion that I could cease using marijuana but otherwise continue my life exactly as it was, in a manner that was convenient for me. I had to own up to the fact that my best thinking had gotten me down in the hole, and that same thinking was not going to get me out without help. I had to look deep and find a seed of integrity where I sought not to be in control, but rather to do whatever it took to free myself from the addiction.
I was lucky. I started by placing my faith in those who had gone on before me. I learned to keep an open mind and I strived to return to a state where I would again become teachable. I let go of my need to be the Director of the play and instead, learned to accept direction through the suggestions of those I respected and who had successfully freed themselves from addiction.
When I succumbed to my addiction, I waived the right to do things my way. Funny, in the process accepting help to climb out of the hole of addiction, my entire life changed for the better.
August
You have too much time on your hands. Learn the Dharma, that is when you will know that God is not there for you the way you think. God is not there at all. Seek the truth, it lies not in God.
Thank you for your post, youranswer, for it is surely an act of Kindness for you to offer your thoughts here.
I for one am Aware of the Dharma -- I am awake, trust me -- for Buddha was certainly an important human teacher -- and his teachings are deserving of our study and contemplation. He had important things to say about the human condition. He led a spiritual life.
Unfortunately, as smart and enlightened as he was, he never seemed to find his place in eternity or a clear route there. Imagine, living forever. Not just "here and now," but forever. He never quite hit the nail on the head.
Be that as it may, my personal response to you is reflected in the following quote from Mother Theresa of Calcutta, a Catholic nun and spiritual teacher of the 20th Century who lived among us and who spent the time that she had on her hands on earth cleaning maggets out of the sores of the dying and destitute in the streets of Calcutta, India and leading others to do the same. Day after day, year after year. While she was doing that, she had a lot of time to think.
Here is some of what she had to say:
"I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic."
The one God, who created me and gave me life and who holds me in being, is always there for me. More significantly, he's always there for us, humanity. And he seeks to communicate with us, if we will only open ourselves to communicate with him. He is very powerful. He promises a way to live forever --that means in eternity. Outside of time. Outside of space.
Without the limitations of time or space.
That's what I'm looking for. That's what I'm hoping for. That's what I'm counting on. That's where I want to head. And I am Awake and Aware, not delusional.
How ? It has been said, "Love one another."
Peace.
Who ever or whatever your god may be, whoever our different gods are. I pray they all bless us to find the peace and happiness we desire within ourselves.
most people worship some person, place or thing.
let's just make sure our god isn't marijuana or some other substance.
