Why do you let Kiwi talk in a negative, almost cocky way regarding the death of my son and not make him apoligize, or better yet, leave the board. I am only one of the people he has hurt, there are many.
This is supposed to be a helpful board to get off drugs. His making a mockery of very serious life changing matters is going against everything this board stands for.
Don't know how long this post will stay on board as you will pull it, unlike Kiwi's who stay until everyone has had a chance to read his posts.
I want an apology from Kiwi or I want him off the board.
Jean
Jean, please give this to your Higher Power....... "You know who" will have pay for his mistakes when his time comes....... God would want you to turn it over.
I am very sorry for your loss and the way you were spoken to but I just don't see how the mods can make him apologize and they obviously can't keep him off of this site.. They've already been there, done that and it didn't work...
Please Ignore him.. I know that he hurt you but there are so many others here supporting and loving you and grieving with you as well..
Keep up your great work.. I am praying for you and your family daily.
hugs.
pam
I am very sorry for your loss and the way you were spoken to but I just don't see how the mods can make him apologize and they obviously can't keep him off of this site.. They've already been there, done that and it didn't work...
Please Ignore him.. I know that he hurt you but there are so many others here supporting and loving you and grieving with you as well..
Keep up your great work.. I am praying for you and your family daily.
hugs.
pam
Dear Jean..........Before this thread gets removed or people start bashing you again, I just want you to know if you ever want to chat about your son.......please feel free to email me. There is no way I can tell you I can understand your pain........but I am a good listener......God bless and hugs, Rus
I have made peace with my son's death as much a possible.
My concern are the new people who come here for help as I did and I got it and I think they deserve the same.
I don't know why I would get bashed for that. As I know of, only 1 person will bash me and I can handle that. If you all fel that way, I will leave and Kiwi can run all of the new ones off and "bash" as you say the rest of you.
I repeat "my concern are the newcomers"
If the rest of you don't step up, there will be a lot of people spending their lives on drugs - can you live with yourselves just to keep peace?
Jean
My concern are the new people who come here for help as I did and I got it and I think they deserve the same.
I don't know why I would get bashed for that. As I know of, only 1 person will bash me and I can handle that. If you all fel that way, I will leave and Kiwi can run all of the new ones off and "bash" as you say the rest of you.
I repeat "my concern are the newcomers"
If the rest of you don't step up, there will be a lot of people spending their lives on drugs - can you live with yourselves just to keep peace?
Jean
Jean, as you know, I am a newcommer too and K was nasty to me, but nothing compared to you and I am not going to let him or anyone else run me off of here and I hope that you consider the same...
We must Welcome all newcommers and aide them if K starts bashing them.. We Have To Stick Together...Our Recovery is more important than K.. and his harsh, mean words...
Remember the old childhood saying? "Sticks and Stones will break our bones But Words Can Never Hurt Me".
I won't allow K to hurt me either.
hugs,
pam
We must Welcome all newcommers and aide them if K starts bashing them.. We Have To Stick Together...Our Recovery is more important than K.. and his harsh, mean words...
Remember the old childhood saying? "Sticks and Stones will break our bones But Words Can Never Hurt Me".
I won't allow K to hurt me either.
hugs,
pam
Jean..I agree with you..he should be off the boards..others have been banned for less evil posts. Additionally, he put down Americans and said something about the horrors of 9/11 here in NY..that we deserved it etc. I lost my brother on 9/11..I can never forgive Kiwi's words. When I noted this in a post to Kiwi..he never apologized or cared about the loss my family endured..is enduring..
Besides you and I, he has hurt many others and literally has side-tracked this board to distraction. I came here in hope for recovery, advice, friendship...certainly not this. He says he doesnt understand why he is hated...well I just answered the reason I do.
I am trying to ignore him and separate all the wonderful people here from him. I dont understand those that are sticking up for him...pull up all of his posts..90% are under the guise of tough love, when in fact, I think his intent is to incite riots here and hurt people.Easy to do as an anonymous person on a message board. I dont understand how he could not care that he has hurt others.If I hurt someone on this board unintentionally, I would be the first to apologize. Why doesnt he feel one iota of remorse? No conscience= sociopath.He does need help and I truly hope he gets it. I dont think this board is able to provide the level of help he needs.In the meantime, I hope he leaves us alone to continue on our path of recovery. If not, then I know I will be leaving for more peaceful pastures.
Besides you and I, he has hurt many others and literally has side-tracked this board to distraction. I came here in hope for recovery, advice, friendship...certainly not this. He says he doesnt understand why he is hated...well I just answered the reason I do.
I am trying to ignore him and separate all the wonderful people here from him. I dont understand those that are sticking up for him...pull up all of his posts..90% are under the guise of tough love, when in fact, I think his intent is to incite riots here and hurt people.Easy to do as an anonymous person on a message board. I dont understand how he could not care that he has hurt others.If I hurt someone on this board unintentionally, I would be the first to apologize. Why doesnt he feel one iota of remorse? No conscience= sociopath.He does need help and I truly hope he gets it. I dont think this board is able to provide the level of help he needs.In the meantime, I hope he leaves us alone to continue on our path of recovery. If not, then I know I will be leaving for more peaceful pastures.
Jean,
I usually don't post w/ this kind of thread. I do try to stay out of it.
But, i wanted to post my thoughts.
I'm not for or against Kiwi.That is not my call.I am not going to judge him.That is not MY place.I shouldn't be judging anyone.He at times can be very aggressive and to the point and even down right mean.So when this happens ichoose to let it go and not respond.I'm sure there have been times that i've ruffled a few feathers and i am sorry for that.But it just isn't my place to say that he needs to go.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your son and i am sorry for the way here treated you.
You are such a caring person on this board and would hate to think that you would leave.I so enjoy you post..
Just my 2 cent....
Dj
I usually don't post w/ this kind of thread. I do try to stay out of it.
But, i wanted to post my thoughts.
I'm not for or against Kiwi.That is not my call.I am not going to judge him.That is not MY place.I shouldn't be judging anyone.He at times can be very aggressive and to the point and even down right mean.So when this happens ichoose to let it go and not respond.I'm sure there have been times that i've ruffled a few feathers and i am sorry for that.But it just isn't my place to say that he needs to go.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your son and i am sorry for the way here treated you.
You are such a caring person on this board and would hate to think that you would leave.I so enjoy you post..
Just my 2 cent....
Dj
Jean, the internet is a wild and wooley place. Addicts are among the sickest people on the planet. Thus, an internet forum on addiction is going to have its share of people who are sick.
There is also a lot of love and caring on this board.
The issue for you is, how much of your time and emotional energy are you willing to devote to a cause that will bring you as much comfort as beating your head a against a brick wall? It is worth it to punish yourself by turning your back on the good people on this forum?
Believe me when I tell you that I have been where Kiwi is at. There is nothing that any of us can say to him that will make him feel worse than he already feels. He is stuck in the living hell of the newcomer, fresh off drugs and no clue as to how to live. There is nothing we can do to him that is worse than what he does to himself.
Best approach is to only read one of his posts. After that, you can simply ignore him when you see his screen name.
Good luck, and please accept my condolences on the death of your son.
August
There is also a lot of love and caring on this board.
The issue for you is, how much of your time and emotional energy are you willing to devote to a cause that will bring you as much comfort as beating your head a against a brick wall? It is worth it to punish yourself by turning your back on the good people on this forum?
Believe me when I tell you that I have been where Kiwi is at. There is nothing that any of us can say to him that will make him feel worse than he already feels. He is stuck in the living hell of the newcomer, fresh off drugs and no clue as to how to live. There is nothing we can do to him that is worse than what he does to himself.
Best approach is to only read one of his posts. After that, you can simply ignore him when you see his screen name.
Good luck, and please accept my condolences on the death of your son.
August
Dear Jean................I misunderstood...........and I am also spending too much time on this site so it is time for a break.........I do not think that you will find the answer to this here........and the moderators cannot make someone apologize if they do not feel they need to........I offered you a friendly ear.........but right now I think I need one more than you do.........I am off to meeting soon...........I hope that I can find some peace there.......God Bless, Rus
Rus,
You don't sound good, can you tell me what is wrong? It is good you are going to a meeting. Let me know if I could help.........
Jean,
Kiwi is a mental case. Seriously it is obvious that he needs help. Why let someone so sick have power over you? I'd be damned if I let him control my feelings!!! Let the new people here deal with Kiwi if and when he strikes next. You are giving him power over you. Please think again before leaving. If you are so worried about new peoples feelings you must stay to defend and uplift them............Best wishes..Shel
You don't sound good, can you tell me what is wrong? It is good you are going to a meeting. Let me know if I could help.........
Jean,
Kiwi is a mental case. Seriously it is obvious that he needs help. Why let someone so sick have power over you? I'd be damned if I let him control my feelings!!! Let the new people here deal with Kiwi if and when he strikes next. You are giving him power over you. Please think again before leaving. If you are so worried about new peoples feelings you must stay to defend and uplift them............Best wishes..Shel
Shel,
That's good advice, If we care about all the new people WE HAVE TO STAY & HELP!!!!! Thanks
God Bless
Dottie
That's good advice, If we care about all the new people WE HAVE TO STAY & HELP!!!!! Thanks
God Bless
Dottie
Jean ..Just ignore him Hes a sociopath Dont upset yourself over his s*** ok?
this is also in Jean's I quit thread:
i just posted in an NA meeting about Tolerance. I used Kiwi as an example...he is a bad person for what he posts, but there is also some good information, it's too bad he hides it in the middle of the briar patch where everyone is scared to reach for it.
He has been cruel to some, completely cruel and vicious to the American people, i truly believe he is sick, mentally ill in some form or other. Because of that, i accept him, as he is...because to not accept him, would be to not accept myself...I am bipolar, i have PTSD, I have OCD and a personality disorder. If I do not tolerate him, i can't tolerate other people who were born with chemical defects...that make their brains not function as others..
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "take what you need, and leave the rest"
he is a sick man, I am to the point where i pity him, but in that pity for him, I also have some understanding in his illness.
Learn to be tolerant of others...accept them as they are, and aren't.
i just posted in an NA meeting about Tolerance. I used Kiwi as an example...he is a bad person for what he posts, but there is also some good information, it's too bad he hides it in the middle of the briar patch where everyone is scared to reach for it.
He has been cruel to some, completely cruel and vicious to the American people, i truly believe he is sick, mentally ill in some form or other. Because of that, i accept him, as he is...because to not accept him, would be to not accept myself...I am bipolar, i have PTSD, I have OCD and a personality disorder. If I do not tolerate him, i can't tolerate other people who were born with chemical defects...that make their brains not function as others..
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "take what you need, and leave the rest"
he is a sick man, I am to the point where i pity him, but in that pity for him, I also have some understanding in his illness.
Learn to be tolerant of others...accept them as they are, and aren't.
Jean,
You sounded put out that you got such a light response on this thread. I think that's because the people who feel as strongly as you do on this topic have already left the board. I've had 21 emails requesting directions to other recovery sites since I made that initial offer to Lilly. You said you had had about that many. Even adjusting for overlap, that's a lot of people.
It's true that the moderators can't ban people from this board, nor make them apologize for their posts. It's also the case that no one is compelled to stick around for that kind of treatment.
I hope I'll see you around, wherever you decide to go. The board's lost a lot of good people. It's sad.
Love,
Gina
You sounded put out that you got such a light response on this thread. I think that's because the people who feel as strongly as you do on this topic have already left the board. I've had 21 emails requesting directions to other recovery sites since I made that initial offer to Lilly. You said you had had about that many. Even adjusting for overlap, that's a lot of people.
It's true that the moderators can't ban people from this board, nor make them apologize for their posts. It's also the case that no one is compelled to stick around for that kind of treatment.
I hope I'll see you around, wherever you decide to go. The board's lost a lot of good people. It's sad.
Love,
Gina
Jean-
You've got mail sweetie.
Gina-
You hit the nail on the head with that one. Is there any way you could e-mail me the other websites? Let me know if you still have my address or not. Hope you are well..
You've got mail sweetie.
Gina-
You hit the nail on the head with that one. Is there any way you could e-mail me the other websites? Let me know if you still have my address or not. Hope you are well..
moved to a new thread entitled JEAN
I keep hearing how the moderators banned him once and he came back and it is imposible to keep him banned.
I do not agree wth that. If the moderators really wanted him off this board as much as so many of us do, there are ways to get him off.....
Here is one idea:
How about every time he posts on this board, his post gets immediately deleted?? (Not the whole thread, just his post on it)
Obviously the moderator can't watch this site 24/7 so each of his attempted posts get deleted immediately - but there are ways to still make it happen.
If every one of his posts are immediately deleted, would he stick around here to continue with his VERY SICK behavior?? I doubt it....
He is a very, very sick person with a major need for intense psycological treatment !!!! This board will never be able to help him !!! That is a fact.
Another fact is that he causes pain to almost every single new person that comes here!! It really needs to stop!!!
PLEASE MODERATORS!!!! DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM!!!!
I have never asked that someone should be banned, but there's a first for everything....
He needs to be banned, get help and stop tormeting so many people here....
I do not agree wth that. If the moderators really wanted him off this board as much as so many of us do, there are ways to get him off.....
Here is one idea:
How about every time he posts on this board, his post gets immediately deleted?? (Not the whole thread, just his post on it)
Obviously the moderator can't watch this site 24/7 so each of his attempted posts get deleted immediately - but there are ways to still make it happen.
If every one of his posts are immediately deleted, would he stick around here to continue with his VERY SICK behavior?? I doubt it....
He is a very, very sick person with a major need for intense psycological treatment !!!! This board will never be able to help him !!! That is a fact.
Another fact is that he causes pain to almost every single new person that comes here!! It really needs to stop!!!
PLEASE MODERATORS!!!! DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM!!!!
I have never asked that someone should be banned, but there's a first for everything....
He needs to be banned, get help and stop tormeting so many people here....
I agree with Carol. This is nuts. Why be so effected by someone who is a virtual stranger? You will never meet this person. I see no reason to give all your power away to somebody like that or allow them to rent space in your head. I don't normally even respond to stuff like this hoping if one less person replies it might go away faster. Those of us who are here are here because we like being here. I along with many others got clean by coming here. If you don't like one person, don't post to them. Just like life, you can't like everyone. We've all left for a time here and there, btw. Everyone always comes back, lol. Stop worrying over this nonsense, find people here who interest you. Love, Kat
amen Carol
My only advice is:
These days when I get lemons.........I try to turn them into lemonade. Why not do the same with Kiwi's negative posts........take the positive or even the negative and try to find a way that it will help you in your recovery. If you read something negative from him or anyone..... then maybe just enjoy the fact that you are not the type of person that is rude to others and if you try really hard you can come up with a gratitude list from his post and I think # one on that list might be.......I HAVE THE POWER TODAY and I will not willingly turn it over to someone like that. All of us are at various stages of recovery and like is so often said...........some are sicker than others.
Thats just my 2cents......... that and another 5 bucks might get you a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
These days when I get lemons.........I try to turn them into lemonade. Why not do the same with Kiwi's negative posts........take the positive or even the negative and try to find a way that it will help you in your recovery. If you read something negative from him or anyone..... then maybe just enjoy the fact that you are not the type of person that is rude to others and if you try really hard you can come up with a gratitude list from his post and I think # one on that list might be.......I HAVE THE POWER TODAY and I will not willingly turn it over to someone like that. All of us are at various stages of recovery and like is so often said...........some are sicker than others.
Thats just my 2cents......... that and another 5 bucks might get you a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
