My 20 year old son has been battling addiction for a long time. I forced him into rehab in and he finished in March. He relapsed and I saw it quickly. Started back with pot. Had a bad car accident in June. He was positive for oxy. Police wrote it up he fell asleep at the wheel. He lives with his dad. He avoids me as he knows I can tell he is using. He is in denial. Doesn't want help. Manipulates and lies. After his wreck I just kept his opiate use to myself. My ex doesn't want to talk with me. My other kids I don't attempt to talk to. I made my son take a drug test July 1 and he was again positive for opiates. Since then he isn't speaking to me or responding to texts. I'm so tired. I'm depressed. I know he will die is he doesn't change his way. I see my own health going down. My boyfriend said I am going to die myself if I don't change but I just don't know how to stop obsessing. My heart is broken. I've done alanon, know the steps but I seem to be too weak to make myself go to meetings. I don't want to bury my son. I would rather go first. I've had lots of therapy. Insurance changed and can't see my therapist now. I know I'm very sick. I've taken his addiction and am letting it destroy me. Please help. Thank you anyone.
Keep reading the other messages here. You will see similar situations.
Yes, you are in a tough spot and grieving for what might happen.
Read 'Feeling Sorry For Myself'
Yes, you are in a tough spot and grieving for what might happen.
Read 'Feeling Sorry For Myself'
Maromo,
You've got look after yourself...for YOU. It sounds like your son hasn't been at all committed to his recovery, and as ,much as we would like to, we can't 'fix' them. It's the worst possible feeling, I know, fearing their death, not knowing how & when. If you're like me, the what if's drive me insane. You & I can't do that. It takes control & commitment on our parts, to take care of ourselves.
My 20 yr old daughter is a heroin & opiates addict. She's tried everything. I don't see her all the time, barely two times this month. She lives with her scummy bf. Manipulation is a way of life for them, as are the lies.
If you don't take care of yourself & pull yourself up, who will? No one can do it for you.
Have your 'sad' days, cry & grieve. You're entitled to it. I think that really does help. It does me, at least. It helps to express yourself & get it all out. And so, I'm glad you found us here.
His addiction is HIS addiction. Don't make it yours! I have trouble with that too. It's hard to change 20 + (or however long for you) of mothering. But your bf's right. You have to take care of yourself, or it will kill your spirit & possibly, ultimately kill you if you're not careful.
I hope you feel better, as the days pass. I hope too, you keep posting. It's helped me more than I can say. I know it will help you to come on here too. There are plenty of people glad to try to help you.
love & God bless you,
Dee
You've got look after yourself...for YOU. It sounds like your son hasn't been at all committed to his recovery, and as ,much as we would like to, we can't 'fix' them. It's the worst possible feeling, I know, fearing their death, not knowing how & when. If you're like me, the what if's drive me insane. You & I can't do that. It takes control & commitment on our parts, to take care of ourselves.
My 20 yr old daughter is a heroin & opiates addict. She's tried everything. I don't see her all the time, barely two times this month. She lives with her scummy bf. Manipulation is a way of life for them, as are the lies.
If you don't take care of yourself & pull yourself up, who will? No one can do it for you.
Have your 'sad' days, cry & grieve. You're entitled to it. I think that really does help. It does me, at least. It helps to express yourself & get it all out. And so, I'm glad you found us here.
His addiction is HIS addiction. Don't make it yours! I have trouble with that too. It's hard to change 20 + (or however long for you) of mothering. But your bf's right. You have to take care of yourself, or it will kill your spirit & possibly, ultimately kill you if you're not careful.
I hope you feel better, as the days pass. I hope too, you keep posting. It's helped me more than I can say. I know it will help you to come on here too. There are plenty of people glad to try to help you.
love & God bless you,
Dee
Yes, don't be an addict to your son's addiction it will destroy you , the respect of your other children and your health..
My son has been an addict for 24 years and I can tell you stories that will curl your toes! But I am getting through it slowly since Jan this year I've gotten tough, I don't listen to his emotional blackmail and that's what it is.. They play on your love, if you don't help me I want to die. I will steal, I am hungry, I hurt. I am sick!
Emotional blackmail is the worse crime they do, and they do it to us. So have a wee pity party now and then put him back in your heart, remember your baby and move on with your life.
Read all our stories it will help.xxx
Sue
My son has been an addict for 24 years and I can tell you stories that will curl your toes! But I am getting through it slowly since Jan this year I've gotten tough, I don't listen to his emotional blackmail and that's what it is.. They play on your love, if you don't help me I want to die. I will steal, I am hungry, I hurt. I am sick!
Emotional blackmail is the worse crime they do, and they do it to us. So have a wee pity party now and then put him back in your heart, remember your baby and move on with your life.
Read all our stories it will help.xxx
Sue
