I just don't know what to do anymore. My adult daughter has gone from being addicted to Loratabs, Tramadol and now Adderall. For years we as a family have tried to help her get clean and she has been clean but when does enough become enough. I granted I have covered things up, turned blind eye each time she messes up, made excuses ( we lost her son at the age of 16 months suddenly 8 yrs ago)but now it is completely out of control. We have thrown her out but she comes back crying making promises that she will get help and then nothing. The worst part is I live upstairs from her, her husband and my 2 grandchildren so when he find out she is using it affects the whole house. My heart breaks for my grandchildren who have had to deal with this for too long. They are the only reason im still living here. She has stolen their birthday money, sold their video games, computers and multiple other things. She has also stolen money and things from her husband, myself and my sons. I just don't know what else to do at this point. I'm done making excuses, covering for her but I still do love her and want her to get help. How do I this? I can't handle the stress and the anxiety of whatelse will I find out not only myself but on my sons and grandchildren. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? It is killing us.
We, parents of addicts, have all been where you are in one fashion or another--we have denied, covered up, enabled, etc. for long periods of time; even after we clearly knew they were addicts and hurting others. This is our process and we need to hit bottom in our enabling--I hope you have. Please go to FA, NA, Coda meetings and get support and advice. The people there have been where you are can share what to do. Right now, from what you said, you are aware of the danger your grandchildren are in and you need to protect them, as hard as it is against your own child. It is imperative--they can not do it for themselves and you, by doing nothing, are an accessory through complacency to their abuse. Get professionals involved--your daughter at some level hates herself for what she is doing to her children (and to you) --your stepping in to get them protection will help her and them. They all will know that you were strong enough to have cared and loved them because you did.
Dear LMB,
Please attend an Al Anon or NAR Anon meeting near you. You will find your answers there.
Doing the right thing with addicts is gut-wrenching and takes alligator skin. It is very difficult to do on your own. in short, enabling has kiled as many people as the drugs. Addicts need to realize the full effect of their consequences - even if it means they live on the street. They will only choose change, when the pain of change is less than not changnig. Addicts are very adept at manipulating their loved ones to garner support. The only support you can give, that will help them, is any action that gets them into a treatment center and then connected to an onging recovery program. Anything short of that is a "half measure" which never works.
Please don't take this upon yourself. It is hurting yourself, your family, and making the addiction worse.
There are millions of us all around you who have been in your shoes and found the right formula. i wish the same for you.
Please attend an Al Anon or NAR Anon meeting near you. You will find your answers there.
Doing the right thing with addicts is gut-wrenching and takes alligator skin. It is very difficult to do on your own. in short, enabling has kiled as many people as the drugs. Addicts need to realize the full effect of their consequences - even if it means they live on the street. They will only choose change, when the pain of change is less than not changnig. Addicts are very adept at manipulating their loved ones to garner support. The only support you can give, that will help them, is any action that gets them into a treatment center and then connected to an onging recovery program. Anything short of that is a "half measure" which never works.
Please don't take this upon yourself. It is hurting yourself, your family, and making the addiction worse.
There are millions of us all around you who have been in your shoes and found the right formula. i wish the same for you.
