After over 15 years of dealing with my daughter's addictions, her financial issues including evictions and overdue bills, car troubles and accidents, her emotional issues, the crazy friends and boyfriends, and clothing and helping with my grandchildren, i'm exhausted and out of money. I thought I was done but she called this morning about to be evicted again and says she is ready for treatment, crying and helpless, and begging for me to take care of her. 40 years old with a 16 year old daughter, she doesn't function unless she is high on oxy, percocet, or something she got illegally. The last time I took her to a treatment facility, she refused to sign herself in so this time I refused to go get her and take her anywhere except an ER instead telling her she had to do this on her own before I would help. I would even call 911 for an ambulance if she was truly self-detoxing as she said but I suspect she was just comign down off a high and it would be just another day before she was high again. I arranged for my grand-daughter to be with her father (my daughter and her child's father are divorced) and told my daughter I supported her decision for inpatient treatment but that I would not enable her by paying her rent, her car payment, etc. She is employed at this time and has medical insurance that will pay for rehab but she has to make the decision. After 30 emails, texts, and phone calls, she is furious with me that I won't pay or help but i did give her quiet suggestions and tell her I supported her decision. I feel like the worst mother in the world but honestly don't know what else to do. Is she ready for rehab? how much worse does this have to get? I am at my wits end over this.
hi, you are doing the right thing- she has to make the decision- she has to quit because she wants to - you or anyone else cannot make that decision for her-by picking up the pieces after her you are only enabling her in her addiction - she will continue to manipulate you and lie , while she is still in active addiction- it is what we do (i am an addict and alcoholic) i know it is very hard to stand back - but until she is forced to realise the consequences of her actions she will not change going to rehab wont help her either unless she goes there for herself- you should contact NA-Anon to get yourself some support from people in a similar situation -read some of the other posts on here for another perspective on addiction - they are written by people who have been through the hell of addiction- they truly know what they are talking about - all the best
Hi - my son is 29- he is in jail right now- I turned him in. Your daughter is an addict and an adult. It is long over due for you both to stop. Now mom- you can only control yourself-so limits and boundaries- no more money!! Please read- Let me fall- on the left under most popular topics. I keep a copy in my purse! Practice how you will respond to her - you know what she is going to ask- no explanations of why not - don't argue. Short conversations. Don't hesitate to hang up and don't answer the phone- my recovery diary might give you some sense you are not alone!! But let me tell you it is hard!!! But just like our kids we have to hit our bottom- then you just might find the strength you gain will also give her the strength to stop!! Come back!!
Start a diary-it helps and definitely find a nar Anon- narcotics annonomous for family members. So great- you will find you are so not alone- God bless!
Start a diary-it helps and definitely find a nar Anon- narcotics annonomous for family members. So great- you will find you are so not alone- God bless!
