hello everyone. It has been a while since I have posted. I am trying not to worry about my daughter & her choices, but it is so hard. She is getting out of rehab tomorrow. This is about her 12th inpatient program. She will be going to an outpatient program & a sober home. She is 26 yrs old and covered under my insurance. As of 12/31/17 she will no longer be covered. I am so afraid for her. I am trying to let her figure it out. I have boundaries & I am sticking to them, but this is very hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?
Greetings,
I know what you mean. If I am not careful, I get caught in this whirlwind of worry about my son, who just turned 18. I think it is normal, as parents, that we worry and want to protect. But, with addiction, we have to turn that switch off.
It is a nightmare to deal with addiction. We see the potential and the kids just keep spiraling down. I have had to come to terms that my son may just end up in jail or without a home. He also may never want a relationship with me. He has had a few chances to change and very persistently fought against it.
So, I don't have any great advice. However, I try to remind myself that he needs to make his own decisions and he needs to make his own mistakes (I remind myself over and over!). Detaching with love is very hard to do, but we have to do it. I see it as a putting a protective curtain between myself and my son. Not a wall, because he is welcome any time he is respectful. But, a curtain that protects me from his addiction. I don't want it in my life.
All we can do is hope for the best for them, but allow them to choose. My son, as I am sure your daughter also, knows I love him.
Keep sharing and asking for support!
I know what you mean. If I am not careful, I get caught in this whirlwind of worry about my son, who just turned 18. I think it is normal, as parents, that we worry and want to protect. But, with addiction, we have to turn that switch off.
It is a nightmare to deal with addiction. We see the potential and the kids just keep spiraling down. I have had to come to terms that my son may just end up in jail or without a home. He also may never want a relationship with me. He has had a few chances to change and very persistently fought against it.
So, I don't have any great advice. However, I try to remind myself that he needs to make his own decisions and he needs to make his own mistakes (I remind myself over and over!). Detaching with love is very hard to do, but we have to do it. I see it as a putting a protective curtain between myself and my son. Not a wall, because he is welcome any time he is respectful. But, a curtain that protects me from his addiction. I don't want it in my life.
All we can do is hope for the best for them, but allow them to choose. My son, as I am sure your daughter also, knows I love him.
Keep sharing and asking for support!
Thank you for your kind words. They are right on target. My daughter knows I love her & she knows I am tired. She told me she is nervous to get out because she knows she is running out of chances. That made me nervous too. This is very hard.
Hugs, Tpascalli. I have no words of wisdom because my son only just entered rehab two weeks ago for the first time. I pray he stays sober. My sister is a recovering alcoholic and she warned me that relapse is not uncommon so I remain cautiously hopeful. But she also told me that even if he relapses, the seed has been planted. I felt comforted by those words and even though your daughter has been in many times, she's learning each time. As far as insurance goes, can your daughter get on medicaid?
