In the last six months my daughter has turned into a heroin addict. She has stolen all of my belongings that my mother or grandmother has had since childhood and has sold them.
I had charges pressed against her and she is in jail for now.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I am at war with a demon that I cannot see. Fighting for my daughter's live.
Can anybody give me any insight on how to help her
I'm sorry. The cold hard truth is you can't. She can only help herself when SHE is ready. Please try nar-anon it may give you the insight you need to help understand addiction along with all the people who post here. You have exercised tough love, and that's your start. You are not alone.
I am right there where you are except it is my 26 year old son. He has had this addiction since he was about 21, it all started when he was 14 and just kept moving harder and faster. Now he is a 26 year old father and I am losing my son and my beautiful grand daughter to this addiction. My son just came back to my house begging me to help him and I cant just let him walk away, he is a father now, he has new reason to fight. He is trying and although he fails, he's trying. We try something new every day. He has been to 4 rehabs, exhausted all my life savings on help and we are still trying. Truth is, I will die trying if I need to but the whole turn your back on them advice does NOT work, I have been throwing him out, sending him to military school, sending him to rehabs, anything to get him out of my house and cutting him off since he was 14 years old because of one addiction or another so this time I decided to do it different. Don't throw him out, Don't yell at him, Don't expect every day to be perfect. I feel like all the things I did I need to turn to don't and maybe that will work or help. But I know one thing, doing them didn't help!
Dear Grandma,
Having criminal charges filed is a good thing to do. Addicts are experts at passing the buck of responsibility and consequences.
In reality, you are powerless over someone else's addiction. This is the first step that is taught in family support groups such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. You may consider joining such a group. It is very helpful to be surrounded by people who have walked in your shoes. You will be welcomed and understood. There are steps you can take to address your fears and anxiety that come as a result of someone else's actions.
Drug addiction is back at epidemic levels. It used to be much easier to obtain opiates and tranquilzers legally through a doctor (or several of them). This has been clamped down, which means addicts turn to easier-to-obtain street drugs. Heroin use is on the rise, especially in rural areas.
For those who are stuck in addiction, and for family members who suffer as a result, there is a solution. For the addict, AA and NA are free and meetings are near most people. For the copdepenent, Al Anon and NAR Anon are also free.
I hope this helps,
Flyboy
Having criminal charges filed is a good thing to do. Addicts are experts at passing the buck of responsibility and consequences.
In reality, you are powerless over someone else's addiction. This is the first step that is taught in family support groups such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. You may consider joining such a group. It is very helpful to be surrounded by people who have walked in your shoes. You will be welcomed and understood. There are steps you can take to address your fears and anxiety that come as a result of someone else's actions.
Drug addiction is back at epidemic levels. It used to be much easier to obtain opiates and tranquilzers legally through a doctor (or several of them). This has been clamped down, which means addicts turn to easier-to-obtain street drugs. Heroin use is on the rise, especially in rural areas.
For those who are stuck in addiction, and for family members who suffer as a result, there is a solution. For the addict, AA and NA are free and meetings are near most people. For the copdepenent, Al Anon and NAR Anon are also free.
I hope this helps,
Flyboy
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Are you the one who put her in jail? Actually, your story is more like about my friend, he's an addict too, and after a long time of his addiction, he seeks a help for his problems and talk to me and said he wants to go to a rehab. After a long time of searching through online, I found Addiction Services Recovery , but before I told him that I found some rehab center for him, I read all the information and how rehab works, but I let him decide if he really wants to go there because I'm not sure if this can help him because I've never been in a rehab. By the way I don't recommend to you that you have to put your daughter into rehab, it's still your decision if what you really want to do with her.
I know this is probably not much help but everyone's journey through this process is unique. Yes, addicts have common behaviors that they exhibit but works for one to finally see the light is not necessarily what will work for the next one. If we knew what worked then someone would be a millionaire because people would pay lots to get the answers they need to solve this horrible experience. Experts try and write books and give speeches but for some tough love is the answer, some rehab is the answer, some personal counseling, some AA or NA but one thing I do believe is that sticking with the same method over and over with the same results is just plain crazy, I believe that is the definition of insanity. All in all, the addict is truly in control of this craziness and us family members are just along for the ride. If you think we can control this then we are all crazy too but what we can do is love them unconditionally but try our best to not enable them when they do finally ask for help. Good luck.
The addict's DISEASE is in control, not the addict.
The addict/alcoholic is the primary victim.
Families and friends are collateral damage if they can't see what is truly happening.
The addict/alcoholic lacks apparent self-worth and to fill that hole uses the very substance/behaviour that compounds the problem. A spiralling circle downward to death & insanity.
I believe that is why a "spiritual awakening" (not necessarily religious) is so basically necessary. It was for me and millions of others in all the 12 Step groups... the foundation of a "complete" recovery (head, heart, body, soul).
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon are 12 Step groups as well. If we are caught up in it we need literally the same help as the victim... a complete overhaul.
If you sober up a drunken horse-thief you are left with a horse-thief.
Now you have to deal with that and therein lies the program.
All the best.
Bob
The addict/alcoholic is the primary victim.
Families and friends are collateral damage if they can't see what is truly happening.
The addict/alcoholic lacks apparent self-worth and to fill that hole uses the very substance/behaviour that compounds the problem. A spiralling circle downward to death & insanity.
I believe that is why a "spiritual awakening" (not necessarily religious) is so basically necessary. It was for me and millions of others in all the 12 Step groups... the foundation of a "complete" recovery (head, heart, body, soul).
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon are 12 Step groups as well. If we are caught up in it we need literally the same help as the victim... a complete overhaul.
If you sober up a drunken horse-thief you are left with a horse-thief.
Now you have to deal with that and therein lies the program.
All the best.
Bob
