I thought i would share a little of my experience with those of you interested. As ive said over and over,it was the worst and the best experience of my life,and i mean that.It opened my eyes to what i have in life and how very lucky i am.A loving supportive family,sobriety...and a desire to stay sober,and a sense of morals....(believe it or not,too many have none of those things!)
When i first got in county jail,i was locked in 1 of 4 cells.I could see out,but was not allowed to get out until i was medically cleared,that took 5 days.In a way,i was kind of thankful for that.All i did was cry for 5 days,woes me...some of you know how that goes.
I was then let out to a room(one big room)full of bunk beds with exercise mattresses to sleep on.No sides to them,made of wrought iron.There were 24 woman bunked together.Literally on top of each other.We watched each other 24/7,heard and saw everything.Total lack of privacy,including bathroom visits and showers.It was horrible(but then again...that's jail for ya)
The thing that really floored me was the stories these woman told.All...and i mean all,either were addicted to drugs or sold them,usually both,(pp's,heroin,crack,coke,alcohol,you name it)there were immigrants from other countries,and 4 woman who did not do ANY drugs(but SOLD them)i found that funny(in a screwed up way)that the DEALERS refrained from doing the drugs themselves. And let me tell you,the judge in this county has no sympathy whatsoever for the dealers.He tries with the addicts,but the dealers,he locks them ALL away in prison.Unfortunately,most of the addicts return time and time again to county jail for one violation or another and eventually wind up in prison also.
It showed me a whole new side of life.Yes,im an addict.But as one fellow inmate told me..."you've been living under a rock" and that was/is the truth.Im glad im a little more educated on these types of things,but i prefer to not venture too far from my rock.I dont WANT to KNOW most of these ways of life.Certainly not "FIRSTHAND"
But i will say,i made 4 very good friends in there.We're writing weekly.One is in prison now,another is going to prison(both for multiple DWI's)and the other 2 will be getting out soon,1 in April,the other in May.
One other thing i wanted to share(besides how sad it is to see
& hear what happens to these womans children)...there were at least 2 woman in there that were going to prison for selling their meds.One sold 5 pp's to a "friend" who wore a wire to save his own a**,the other the same thing but with 3 klonipin.Both woman are going to prison for 2 years. TWO YEARS!!!! That scared the crap out of me.The authorities are not messing around with drugs anymore,theyve had it.At least in my areas.Im so thankful im sober,and i pray all these memories stay with me,to remind me where i am and where i dont want to be.
Sorry this was so long,i could go on for much longer,but i'll save it for another day,lol.~KIM
At least it's behind you now, Kim. That's something to be happy about. I'm glad you got thru it ok.
smooches
smooches
Hey Kim,
I'm not sure if it has anothing to do with the area that they are cracking down more on drugs or if it's because they are females. See, male prisons are over crowded and they seem to have a revolving door on their prisons, women's prisons don't have the over crowding problems and they end up doing the whole time. I've seen shows on this.
Thanks for sharing your experience, maybe your story will get others to think twice about what they are doing and where they may end up.
I'm not sure if it has anothing to do with the area that they are cracking down more on drugs or if it's because they are females. See, male prisons are over crowded and they seem to have a revolving door on their prisons, women's prisons don't have the over crowding problems and they end up doing the whole time. I've seen shows on this.
Thanks for sharing your experience, maybe your story will get others to think twice about what they are doing and where they may end up.
Fascinating Kim.However,I don't agree with such harsh sentences.That money could be spent for some treatment also.Throwing someone in prison or jail doesn't really accomplish too much if it's just related to addiction.
Glad you're out.
Glad you're out.
Sounds like you managed to take some very positive experiences away from a very difficult situation. Congrats on being clean and welcome home!
oo my,,thats bad I used to buy over internet,stoped that ,when my pill went down to 6 pills ,but still,,,,,what a shame ,and that sadness me ,kim you are a good soul,,,you no ,poopie
Kim, again...welcome home!
Holy Hell 2 years for selling a few pills. That's crazy! That could have happened to any one of us. I know I've done that a million times in the past.
Thanks for sharing with us
Holy Hell 2 years for selling a few pills. That's crazy! That could have happened to any one of us. I know I've done that a million times in the past.
Thanks for sharing with us
If TV mimics reality at all..isn't everyone in prison "innocent" or don't you think that they minimize what they've done and it's "everyone's else's fault"? You didn't go to prison for drugs, you went for theft...you don't talk about that part of it..did they put you away for the theft or because of the drugs being the reason you stoled?
I agree with Tim, that prison/jail is not the place for addicts. Dealers yes, but addicts need treatment, they don't get that while incarcerated. Did they do anything to help you understand why you were there? Did they educate or rehabilitate you at all? Luckily Kim, you are very different from most of the women there. You have a conscience but a disease. Putting you away was a travesity, rehab would have been a much better choice.
I'm just happy for you that it's all behind you and that you are safe and in the arms of your family.
I agree with Tim, that prison/jail is not the place for addicts. Dealers yes, but addicts need treatment, they don't get that while incarcerated. Did they do anything to help you understand why you were there? Did they educate or rehabilitate you at all? Luckily Kim, you are very different from most of the women there. You have a conscience but a disease. Putting you away was a travesity, rehab would have been a much better choice.
I'm just happy for you that it's all behind you and that you are safe and in the arms of your family.
Thanks for the welcome home,and thanks Kat,Liz,Tim,AWest,Poopie,Lynn and Lisa for your comments.It's a very interesting topic to say the least.
But to be totally honest,i felt(whether right or wrong)that i was charged with Grand Larceny(as far as ANYONE knew,accept myself of course,drugs played no part in it)I made a decision to keep that part of my life to myself.When they had the Dr talk with me,i never mentioned addiction at all.I just felt...im in here for theft,i have been dealing with my addiction,i would rather keep that part of my life away from them.
Well,that lasted all of about a week.Everyone has to talk to the "Mental Health Psycologist" and when it was my turn,it ended up being a Dr who had dealt with me from time to time @ The Recovery Center,where i had been going for over a year for Sub and couseling.So,that blew it all out of the water.Which in a way,i was thankful for.But i explained i was drug free and feeling pretty good aside from being in there.
And you're so ABSOLUTELY right Lisa.So many in there were in denial.(ALOT of them innocent too,lol)They were going through WD's,so sick and in the same breath either saying...im not addicted to any drugs,or...this is not going to deter me from using when i get out.
But i must be fair about the surrounding Counties in my area.We have soooo many Rehabs,Detoxes,Couseling,there is PLENTY of resources for support.And our judges do recommend treatment above everything with addicts.Theyve even Designed a program called "Drug Court" that works with addicts on a Daily basis,for a year,or 2,which ever you're recommended for.These judges give addicts several chances over,buut once you crossover to selling(either to support your habit,or JUST to make cash(but dont use drugs themselves,they actually HATE HATE HATE the drugs,but feel its ok to sell them to our young children)...especially THOSE types... They show no mercy.They want the drugs out of here,and the addicts rehabilitated.And even more so,our youth less tempted.
Anyway,im sorry to go on and on here,but as much as i hated being in jail.I felt that in MOST cases i saw,the sentences were fair.I DID try to hide my past,but as always,your past catches up to you.Which in the end,was a real good thing.I was able to open up with some of the young woman in their 20's and talk about my experiences,not just with myself,but my sons, and i felt i did make an impact with a few of them.Theyre so young and got their whole life ahead of them.Some with little babies.Addicted to pills,herion,crack...so sad.They all,every single one,would love to get their lives together,have their families whole.Yet the drugs have taken over their lives.~KIM
But to be totally honest,i felt(whether right or wrong)that i was charged with Grand Larceny(as far as ANYONE knew,accept myself of course,drugs played no part in it)I made a decision to keep that part of my life to myself.When they had the Dr talk with me,i never mentioned addiction at all.I just felt...im in here for theft,i have been dealing with my addiction,i would rather keep that part of my life away from them.
Well,that lasted all of about a week.Everyone has to talk to the "Mental Health Psycologist" and when it was my turn,it ended up being a Dr who had dealt with me from time to time @ The Recovery Center,where i had been going for over a year for Sub and couseling.So,that blew it all out of the water.Which in a way,i was thankful for.But i explained i was drug free and feeling pretty good aside from being in there.
And you're so ABSOLUTELY right Lisa.So many in there were in denial.(ALOT of them innocent too,lol)They were going through WD's,so sick and in the same breath either saying...im not addicted to any drugs,or...this is not going to deter me from using when i get out.
But i must be fair about the surrounding Counties in my area.We have soooo many Rehabs,Detoxes,Couseling,there is PLENTY of resources for support.And our judges do recommend treatment above everything with addicts.Theyve even Designed a program called "Drug Court" that works with addicts on a Daily basis,for a year,or 2,which ever you're recommended for.These judges give addicts several chances over,buut once you crossover to selling(either to support your habit,or JUST to make cash(but dont use drugs themselves,they actually HATE HATE HATE the drugs,but feel its ok to sell them to our young children)...especially THOSE types... They show no mercy.They want the drugs out of here,and the addicts rehabilitated.And even more so,our youth less tempted.
Anyway,im sorry to go on and on here,but as much as i hated being in jail.I felt that in MOST cases i saw,the sentences were fair.I DID try to hide my past,but as always,your past catches up to you.Which in the end,was a real good thing.I was able to open up with some of the young woman in their 20's and talk about my experiences,not just with myself,but my sons, and i felt i did make an impact with a few of them.Theyre so young and got their whole life ahead of them.Some with little babies.Addicted to pills,herion,crack...so sad.They all,every single one,would love to get their lives together,have their families whole.Yet the drugs have taken over their lives.~KIM
Welcome home Kim,
Some good came out of your experience, if you talked to young girls. Maybe you'll never know, but you could have saved some lives. So glad you're back.
Since you've been gone, I quit and am clean going on three months.
Any one of those girls in there(except the young, unfortunately) could have been me.
Love,
Roe
Some good came out of your experience, if you talked to young girls. Maybe you'll never know, but you could have saved some lives. So glad you're back.
Since you've been gone, I quit and am clean going on three months.
Any one of those girls in there(except the young, unfortunately) could have been me.
Love,
Roe
Hey Kim.....so glad to see you home and to now have that experience behind you. You seem to be doing good with your addiction and love your positive attitude. I am so grateful that my addiction didn't land me in jail (though not for the lack of trying) I could have easily gotten caught and gotten in a heap of trouble. Fortunately, I got clean and got my life together. Reading what you went through makes me more grateful, but it could have very well been me...for .obtaining drugs illegally. (Not meaning you did) Hopefully someone will log on looking for help and see this post and it opens their eyes.
Welcome Home!
Welcome Home!
Hey Kim,
I could had ended up in jail so many times and thankfully I was bailed out before spending a night. My anger issues caused my problems and as much as I can say drugs had nothing to do with it, I have to say drugs never helped the situation. Drugs didn't cause my anger but it certainly intensified it and clouded my judgement big time.
Anyway, I'm so glad I didn't end up having to stay in jail, I was soooo lucky there.
We have those programs here too now with the courts offering help to the addict rather than sticking them into jail. I was in a program with women that were going through the court system. They had to report to court every so often, I don't know if once a week or month but the judge gets reports from the drug counselors and if they prove not to take recovery seriously they will be sent to jail. Sadly, most of the women in this program has lost custody of their children, but if they get their lives together they can get them back.
I could had ended up in jail so many times and thankfully I was bailed out before spending a night. My anger issues caused my problems and as much as I can say drugs had nothing to do with it, I have to say drugs never helped the situation. Drugs didn't cause my anger but it certainly intensified it and clouded my judgement big time.
Anyway, I'm so glad I didn't end up having to stay in jail, I was soooo lucky there.
We have those programs here too now with the courts offering help to the addict rather than sticking them into jail. I was in a program with women that were going through the court system. They had to report to court every so often, I don't know if once a week or month but the judge gets reports from the drug counselors and if they prove not to take recovery seriously they will be sent to jail. Sadly, most of the women in this program has lost custody of their children, but if they get their lives together they can get them back.
Welcome home Kim and thanks for sharing your story. I think you can officially write a book now.
I know you are enjoying your family right about now. Lots of grandchildren keeping you busy. It's so nice to have a close family.
By the grace of God I have never been in trouble with the police. I was pulled over and ticketed more than a few times, changed scripts and filled fake ones. Of course my purse always had pills in it. Sometimes they were a script and sometimes not. It's nice not to get scared when I see a cop driving behind me. It's also nice not to feel like a marked woman at the pharmacy.
I know you are enjoying your family right about now. Lots of grandchildren keeping you busy. It's so nice to have a close family.
By the grace of God I have never been in trouble with the police. I was pulled over and ticketed more than a few times, changed scripts and filled fake ones. Of course my purse always had pills in it. Sometimes they were a script and sometimes not. It's nice not to get scared when I see a cop driving behind me. It's also nice not to feel like a marked woman at the pharmacy.
Anyone of us "addicts' could have been in your shoes Kim. Even though you tried to seperate the two...stealing and drug abuse...they are both very inertwined. You may not have made the choices that you did had you been clean and sober. I think sometimes that there was some thing or some "one" working in my life at that time, that I didn't end up in jail or losing everything I had. I made horrible choices back then (still do but at least I'm conscience now) and should have been in jail a few times. I stole pills from people and bought from drug dealers. I was no different from those dealers, whether they used or not isn't the issue. It's called supply and demand. We're all guilty of keeping this drug war going.
I'm so happy for you that you were "outed". It probably made the difference for you as far as what you got out of being in jail. And to be able to talk to the younger women and share your ESH is priceless.
I'm so happy for you that you were "outed". It probably made the difference for you as far as what you got out of being in jail. And to be able to talk to the younger women and share your ESH is priceless.
Hi Kim!
Good to see you back and that you took something positive out of your experience. That speaks volumes about the kind of lady you are.
Now you can enjoy your life and move forward. We all go through what we do for a reason, we may not know the reason at the time but somehow someway we always figure it out.
Hugs.
Good to see you back and that you took something positive out of your experience. That speaks volumes about the kind of lady you are.
Now you can enjoy your life and move forward. We all go through what we do for a reason, we may not know the reason at the time but somehow someway we always figure it out.
Hugs.
Kim, Whew! I finally sat down and read all of this thread. Very interesting. I hate that you had to go through what you did, but sometimes a little view of how the other side lives is a great inspiration. Major reality check.
I'm just grateful for you to have that behind you. You're a class act, lady, and it's nice to have you back!
Carol
I'm just grateful for you to have that behind you. You're a class act, lady, and it's nice to have you back!
Carol
I could never effectively put into words how great it is to be home! And i DO appreciate all the replies and nice comments from you all.
Ive been writing with 2 of the woman i got to be friends with in there.One will be home May 7th,the other just got sentenced to 2.5 - 5 years in prison(for a third DWI) Needless to say,they are both in different frame of minds right now.But both agree,county jail sucks big time.They're so full,they are boarding woman out to Albany County.And the more woman in there,the worse the situations get,fighting,gossiping,arguing over whos got what shower next...Im so happy to be out of that mess.
Im happy to be back~KIM
Ive been writing with 2 of the woman i got to be friends with in there.One will be home May 7th,the other just got sentenced to 2.5 - 5 years in prison(for a third DWI) Needless to say,they are both in different frame of minds right now.But both agree,county jail sucks big time.They're so full,they are boarding woman out to Albany County.And the more woman in there,the worse the situations get,fighting,gossiping,arguing over whos got what shower next...Im so happy to be out of that mess.
Im happy to be back~KIM
J&J...I can empathize completely! I spent only ten days in jail for a 2nd DUI but it was enough to make me never want to go back. Glad you have walked away from the experience as I did, with a new set of eyes. The world looks very different now, I bet. Anyway, I also agree that the drugs and theft are correlated. It is kinda like the cart before the horse...did you steal to get drugs or did the drugs make you steal? Regardless, you've learned quite a bit about yourself, I imagine. Good for you and welcome home!