My girlfriend has a serious addiction to her weed. I have never known anyone that can smoke like this girl and it is starting to cause some big problems in our already struggling 3 year relationship. We were driving home last night for being out of town and she fired a bowl up. Hate to say it, but i counted how many times she hit that pipe. In about 10 minutes, she hit it 22 times. Not huge tokes, but none the less, 22 times??? Her tolerance is off the chart. Maybe not the best weed ever, but i would probably get wasted off 2 hits. The problem is this, she has to go in to a pretty bad area to get the stuff. About twice a week. She does not have good judgement because she has to have it. No matter what. When she is out, she is impossible to get along with, and will stop at nothing to get it. A lot of times she will have already had way too much to drink before she heads out and it's clear across town. I get really mad at this point because i am worried about her safety. Possibly getting raped or killed in that part of town. Or even a DUI. She will usually start a fight first then take off. I get so angry at this point.... And after dark i should mention. It wasn't so bad when all she had to do was go around the corner, but this is insane. On another note. ""Her Job and her spending.""She can't get a new job and stopped trying because in her line of work, she will be drug tested, therefore, she won't try. But complaining about her horrible job all the time. This stuff is not cheap either. She spends at least 350 a month. Making 13.50 hr. I feel it has or is about to destroyed our relationship of 3 years. I am so tired of this. I get mad at her and call her crackhead because that's how she acts with this stuff. Needing some advice please. Don't want to end the relationship but not going to go on like this for ever either..She can't afford her own place. Can't move back home. All her belonging are here in my house and it would be a huge ordeal for her to have to move out. And that would break my heart too. God, what have i gotten myself into..
I have never posted on a message board before but I saw that you hadn't received a reply yet so here goes nothing.
That sounds exceptionally hard. I am dealing with a partner with an addiction but to a lesser degree. I am sending you good vibes as you develop the strength it takes to leave a situation that doesn't serve you (or her, in that it enables her). My mom tells me I act as though the goal is to hang onto the edge of the cliff for as long as I can without crashing to the ground and it sounds like we could be a bit similar. It sounds like you are waiting for things to get bad enough for you to give yourself permission to leave. You have mine. I'm thinking of giving myself mine too :)
An e-hug to you stranger.
That sounds exceptionally hard. I am dealing with a partner with an addiction but to a lesser degree. I am sending you good vibes as you develop the strength it takes to leave a situation that doesn't serve you (or her, in that it enables her). My mom tells me I act as though the goal is to hang onto the edge of the cliff for as long as I can without crashing to the ground and it sounds like we could be a bit similar. It sounds like you are waiting for things to get bad enough for you to give yourself permission to leave. You have mine. I'm thinking of giving myself mine too :)
An e-hug to you stranger.
I am a heroin addict in recovery, 3 years clean. At no time did I ever display a need to get the drug that badly. The fact that she is risking her health and safety, also driving drunk to pick up marijuana is disturbing. From what you say she has no wish to change what she is doing. I understand that you love her and don't want to kick her out because of the hardship it will bring on her, but what about your well being? It is not healthy for you to maintain this relationship while being continuously unhappy, and it will eventually break you. At this point if she will not make a change than my suggestion is to put your well being to the forefront and ask her to leave. Give her 2 weeks to find a place or talk to her parents if that is an option. I know this will hurt you to do but so will holding on to a train wreck situation in the long run. I wish you all the best and please feel free to keep posting as we will help support you on this site. I hope she can find it within herself to change, but if she cannot make those changes than you need to so you can be happy. God Bless you both.
I must say, i am probably the one that needs help. I love this girl more than life it self. We can be like best friends and in the drop of a hat, a fight starts, the cursing and insults start flying and we both almost hate each other. You are so right. The most unhealthy relationship i have ever been in. This is also the longest one i've been in. 3 Years this month. Before this i dated some, for a few years. No one over about 6 months. before that i was with the same person for about 25 years. BTW, i am 52 and my girlfriend is 45 going on 15. The fighting is almost non stop. At least every other day. But we somehow always seem to make up. We both have our insecurities. We are both alcoholics, drink about 10 beers each a day. There lies the other culprit. I know!!! She is out of pot and her connection has been forced to stop what he has been doing. I think that's great. But she is on the war path because she is out. I have seen this pattern for years and is why i came to this board. I have never been around anything like this before. Her mood is just flat out crazy. Meaner than a rattle snake. But, I can't leave her at the time, for one, her father is dying and i will feel like a total tool to do that to her right now. Not sure if she can make it if he passes. She might snap. I just have to help her right now as i have been. I really really don't want to leave, or should i say, make her leave. but you have a point, and i know it. I do want to be happy and thrive to try to be happy, but it is impossible with her. Co dependent, i'm sure i am. En abler, yep. We have tried to go our own ways a few times but it's just so hard. Maybe i should be on a different forum. IDK. I am just so tired of all this. Life is too short. Bye for now.
Hi willwork4lures
Please go and read on the Families/Partners of addicts forum 'Let Me Fall All By Myself'. It is not doing any good sticking around if she doesn't make you happy and make your life hell. I can understand that you want to help her through all this but just maybe this might open her eyes to what she has in life and in you and choose to sober up herself.
You sound like a great person and you don't deserve to be put through all of this. Speaking as a recovering addict I wouldn't want to put the one I love through so much pain. I am extremely ashamed and devastated about how I treated people that loves me during my addiction.
If you keep on sheltering her and trying to keep her from hurting you are causing yourself so much unneeded grieve.
We all strive to be happy but you just got to be happy. If your not you got to cut out the things and people that doesn't make you happy. I had to cut a lot of people out of my life as they didn't keep me happy. It is hard especially if you love them
Be strong and biiig huugs
x
Please go and read on the Families/Partners of addicts forum 'Let Me Fall All By Myself'. It is not doing any good sticking around if she doesn't make you happy and make your life hell. I can understand that you want to help her through all this but just maybe this might open her eyes to what she has in life and in you and choose to sober up herself.
You sound like a great person and you don't deserve to be put through all of this. Speaking as a recovering addict I wouldn't want to put the one I love through so much pain. I am extremely ashamed and devastated about how I treated people that loves me during my addiction.
If you keep on sheltering her and trying to keep her from hurting you are causing yourself so much unneeded grieve.
We all strive to be happy but you just got to be happy. If your not you got to cut out the things and people that doesn't make you happy. I had to cut a lot of people out of my life as they didn't keep me happy. It is hard especially if you love them
Be strong and biiig huugs
x
