How about this development?? My son,for those of you guys following some of this story, moved out of here because -I went off at his G/F a bit & he didn't like my methadone use. (While yet I had to be OK with the week-end pot smoking)-- Anyway, he left his mothers place last week (I'm surprised he lasted 3 days over there)- because he said her drinking is out of control. He couldn't handle that,and her constant urge to have drunken conversations at all hours.
Next news flash- He & that G/F of his are no-more. GOOD. Whatever happened -happened. He didn't get to into it,but I think he saw her for the needy, controlling, whining, immature person she is.
Now- All this happened a week ago- So why didn't he call? Why didn't he let me know his plans?- I know he's 21 & an adult- but he knows that his grammar,& myself worry (as any normal father & gramma would)-
So get this** This is the final kicker***
I get a call the other night- - He is in Plattsburg,NY. Im sure most of you guys have no idea where that is- -I didnt.
Its a small city (large town) in Upstate NY ,about 10 minutes from the Canadian Border. Holy Sh*t!!- He tells me a friend of his from down here(who happens to be a female) is in collage at NY State University in Plattsburg has a place up there & needed a room-mate. She lives off campus by herself & I dont know her personally ,she graduated HS with him & apartently they,re just friends. Now she could have posted "Roommate needed" somewhere- but I guess my kid took care of the need to do that.
Its just unbelievable to me that he quit his job, left his G/F ,moved out of his mothers, got in that beat up Toyota w/170,000 miles on it & drove it 370 miles up the NY State Thruway-into the land of sub-zero temps & much snow---
all without letting me know-or anyone for that matter.
So now he is coming back on Friday to pickup some winter stuff ,his last paycheck from down here, and to take his gramma up on the longstanding offer to help him financially buy a much better car. I know she didnt plan to give him 3 grand for a car so he could take off to freaking Canada in it!
Im going to send him a bus ticket to get back to NYC -mainly because I dont want to get a call at 3 am telling me he broke down in the middle of nowhere .
Man- Im happy he called- happy that psycho girl is gone- but accepting this move..I dont know- we,ll talk when he get back this weekend.
Sorry this was so long, but Im just flored these turn of events -so I shared them
I gotta go- '
the saga continues,
jack
Do you have any objections to him running away at 21...Might be what he is doing, and for as weird as it all looks at times this might be a wonderful journey for him. Actually no matter what happens it will be because he will be living life his wayon his own, growing upand there is so much learning to be done, and so much to see and experience
Try not to worry so much, stay stuck in the what ifs and whys of what he is doinghe will always know how to find you, where he can go to when he needs anythingoh gosh that is to much truth, they really never leave and with cell phones they can hunt us down anywhere <smile>.
Hang on Jack things will be okcan you trust in that and trust in him that he will be ok no matter where he is...
Believe,
Love,
Tina
Try not to worry so much, stay stuck in the what ifs and whys of what he is doinghe will always know how to find you, where he can go to when he needs anythingoh gosh that is to much truth, they really never leave and with cell phones they can hunt us down anywhere <smile>.
Hang on Jack things will be okcan you trust in that and trust in him that he will be ok no matter where he is...
Believe,
Love,
Tina
Jack, ya know what? How about we run away. Don't call. Wait a week and you can say "Oh, I'm in Arizona with my friend, Bryn. I moved". Then when my daughter calls for her STUFF I'll have done moved as well.
That's nice your mom is putting up the loot for a car. My mom fell into that a few weeks ago too, Jack. Tells me don't I know she did NOT get her license. Said her dad has nervous issues about teaching her. He was buying her a car. It's all I heard for two years. That went down the tubes and now my mom who she let go in an ambulance with a heart attack and never even called wants to give her some money for a car.
Well, psycho chica is gone. This is good. He got to see first hand how life with mom is.
Now, near Canada. Needs winter clothes.
WAIT ya just saw him last week at breaksfast. What did he leave after you had breakie?
Yeah, I'm a junkie. Yeah she's rolling fatties. Drunk in the afternoon in class.
Her dad pays homage to centerfolds out of high times, but it's all about the 'done and the dope ya know.
Just wanted to commiserate.
Maybe he'll think about getting some financial aid and going to schhol, Jack. Why not, right?
Yeah, just up and not call when ya are going to the border of well is it near Pougkipsee?????? Like up there?
Good thing ya didn't sow the magic beans I say.
That's nice your mom is putting up the loot for a car. My mom fell into that a few weeks ago too, Jack. Tells me don't I know she did NOT get her license. Said her dad has nervous issues about teaching her. He was buying her a car. It's all I heard for two years. That went down the tubes and now my mom who she let go in an ambulance with a heart attack and never even called wants to give her some money for a car.
Well, psycho chica is gone. This is good. He got to see first hand how life with mom is.
Now, near Canada. Needs winter clothes.
WAIT ya just saw him last week at breaksfast. What did he leave after you had breakie?
Yeah, I'm a junkie. Yeah she's rolling fatties. Drunk in the afternoon in class.
Her dad pays homage to centerfolds out of high times, but it's all about the 'done and the dope ya know.
Just wanted to commiserate.
Maybe he'll think about getting some financial aid and going to schhol, Jack. Why not, right?
Yeah, just up and not call when ya are going to the border of well is it near Pougkipsee?????? Like up there?
Good thing ya didn't sow the magic beans I say.
Yeah Byrn - that's another weird thing , we had breakfast last week or so, and no mention of this came up. Did he know? Was it that spontaneous?
Mistsyeyeballs-
I wish it were easier for me to let go. Hell I raised this kid without his mom for 18 years. The whole grammer,school,adolecet years, high school, little league, PTA meetings, orthodontist's., learning to drive, etc... etc... I have to admit even though part of me wants him to go out and experience life a bit- I am concerned that things will not go well. -Ill always be there but he never was too much of an a adventurer, so I just dont know.
That being said- when I was his age I was bopping around the country going to Grateful Dead shows.- I was a different breed than him though.
Anyway, thanks for the concern & advise- - we,ll see what happens
jack
Oh he tells me tonight that he has something important to tell me when he gets here. --what know??
Mistsyeyeballs-
I wish it were easier for me to let go. Hell I raised this kid without his mom for 18 years. The whole grammer,school,adolecet years, high school, little league, PTA meetings, orthodontist's., learning to drive, etc... etc... I have to admit even though part of me wants him to go out and experience life a bit- I am concerned that things will not go well. -Ill always be there but he never was too much of an a adventurer, so I just dont know.
That being said- when I was his age I was bopping around the country going to Grateful Dead shows.- I was a different breed than him though.
Anyway, thanks for the concern & advise- - we,ll see what happens
jack
Oh he tells me tonight that he has something important to tell me when he gets here. --what know??
Not sure I like the balls added to my name, lmao
Oh and I so want to know what he wants to tell you
You did good Jack, you really did, he will be ok no matter what and I am sure he knows you are always there, always
There is so much that could go badthis far away with no one close.and yet there is so much that can go good. And then to confuses it all more sometimes the good shows in the bad. I am sure you are about ripping your hair out with wondering of his motives, the sudden impulse. and I sure as hell hope that you arent stuck in any thinking of you did anything wrong here
Big deep breaths.
And try not to worry to much, ok.
My son moved out, a year clean and he is off into his own life. I was so excited for him and so very worried, the addiction, the pressure of him having to take it all on and make it work each day and with a family to care for as well, everything new and almost to sudden
It was a bit of a head trip at times. Some days have been real hard I can hear it in his voice, and then others have been so wonderful to watch, and he is getting through them all
Love,
Tina
Oh and I so want to know what he wants to tell you
You did good Jack, you really did, he will be ok no matter what and I am sure he knows you are always there, always
There is so much that could go badthis far away with no one close.and yet there is so much that can go good. And then to confuses it all more sometimes the good shows in the bad. I am sure you are about ripping your hair out with wondering of his motives, the sudden impulse. and I sure as hell hope that you arent stuck in any thinking of you did anything wrong here
Big deep breaths.
And try not to worry to much, ok.
My son moved out, a year clean and he is off into his own life. I was so excited for him and so very worried, the addiction, the pressure of him having to take it all on and make it work each day and with a family to care for as well, everything new and almost to sudden
It was a bit of a head trip at times. Some days have been real hard I can hear it in his voice, and then others have been so wonderful to watch, and he is getting through them all
Love,
Tina
Jack, you're just being a good dad, worrying about your offspring. But try to chill out a bit. He is a grown man now, even though he'll always be your child, and it's a pretty normal thing to go off and do something a bit wild and spontaneous. He's just trying out his wings Jack, he's been through a rough patch. and he's young. You can't always expect him to behave in a respectful and courteous manner, coz that ain't just gonna happen. And you'd be surprised at how well long distance relationships can work. I guess I have a different perspective (well, I would, wouldn't I!). My parents upped and left me. Packed their bags and moved to the other side of the world. To get to see them it's a day travelling just to get to the freaking airport, then a 12 hour flight. An over night stay, then a 2 day drive. And not to mention the cost. So they are a long way away. But it takes a few seconds to text them, or email them, and it's free to Skype them. I'm much closer to them in my heart now than I have been for years.
When I was his age, well, a bit younger really, I did pretty much the same thing, and I didn't give a hoot what my parents thought about it. My attitude was this was what they brought me into the world for. To do my own thing, to live my life. That's what bring up a child is all about. That's the whole point of it. I hate to think of my little girl growing up and moving miles away from me, but at some point I will have to let go of her. It wouldn't be right if they're tied to your apron strings for the rest of our lives.
And on a lighter note, talking of distance, it's still a small world. When I had my daughter, I wanted my parents to be there. And they were. My mum was holding my hand all the way through my labour, and my mum called my dad as it was nearing the end, so he could be there when she was born. He got to the labour suite, and the midwife wouldn't let him in. He gave her the "Blake Frown" (we have very fierce eyes, he does, I do and so does Rowanne) and told her "I've come 8000 miles to be here for this moment, and you are not going to stop me!" She let him in...
It will be OK Jack, I know that you can't help but worry - part and parcel of being a parent - but let him find his own way. The more you try and stop him, the more he'll pull away. And don't fret about the car. I drove 1300 kms to Scotland and back earlier this year, in a 25 year old battered old bus. Apart from the wipers flying off into the distance, (large tracts of the UK were completely underwater at the time, in the heaviest rainfall since records began, and I managed to miss all but a few spots) nothing bad happened. If you're that worried, buy him breakdown cover!
Take care my friend
love
Diff xxx
When I was his age, well, a bit younger really, I did pretty much the same thing, and I didn't give a hoot what my parents thought about it. My attitude was this was what they brought me into the world for. To do my own thing, to live my life. That's what bring up a child is all about. That's the whole point of it. I hate to think of my little girl growing up and moving miles away from me, but at some point I will have to let go of her. It wouldn't be right if they're tied to your apron strings for the rest of our lives.
And on a lighter note, talking of distance, it's still a small world. When I had my daughter, I wanted my parents to be there. And they were. My mum was holding my hand all the way through my labour, and my mum called my dad as it was nearing the end, so he could be there when she was born. He got to the labour suite, and the midwife wouldn't let him in. He gave her the "Blake Frown" (we have very fierce eyes, he does, I do and so does Rowanne) and told her "I've come 8000 miles to be here for this moment, and you are not going to stop me!" She let him in...
It will be OK Jack, I know that you can't help but worry - part and parcel of being a parent - but let him find his own way. The more you try and stop him, the more he'll pull away. And don't fret about the car. I drove 1300 kms to Scotland and back earlier this year, in a 25 year old battered old bus. Apart from the wipers flying off into the distance, (large tracts of the UK were completely underwater at the time, in the heaviest rainfall since records began, and I managed to miss all but a few spots) nothing bad happened. If you're that worried, buy him breakdown cover!
Take care my friend
love
Diff xxx
LOL to Tina.......balls on your name, girlie.
Jack, thinking of ya.
Jack, thinking of ya.
