In the past 2 weeks I have come to realize something and it isn't at all what I ecpected..I went into detox because I hated being chained to the pill bottle..although I was taking as rxed I could not see myself as an addict and wanted off..we all know how that went.So I came home to recuperate from that only to go to a sub Dr. in the best of faith. I had such a bad drug reaction that my kidneys almost shut down. I ended up not going back to the sub Dr. but to the ER...It has been a horrible 48 hours. I cannot feel like a failure because I DID go thru hell to do this,,with all my health issues I should have either stayed on my meds or very slowly tapered. I am still in a state of shock on what has hapened to me. Why couldn't I just accept myself...maybe coming here, as much as I love everyone...made me feel I had to be "clean" to belong..I know it sounds childish but it is honest. Now I have proven to myself that I tried both ways. I cannot go thru anymore...my poor body has been thru hell and I am still having bad nausea and headache. I just wanted to thank all of you...this time I must listen to what's best for me. All the opinions got me confused and I forgot to listen to my own intuition....my own fault. Thank you again for all your caring and concern. Please..if anyone thinks they can sway me to "thinkagain" about either method...it will be in vain. Just not for me at this stage in the game. My health is evidetly too fragile. Love, Sharonn
Sharron good luck hun take care of you jaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Morning Sharon,
I have watched you put yourself through hell, mentally, physically and emotionally. In this search for answers that were in you all along. You always knew you were an addict, but fought so hard to try to live life without pills. What great courage you showed in trying to make sure you explored the possibilities
This might not go over so well, but quite honestly I dont care. This is for you, anyone else who reads and wants to justify their behavior with it that is on them, as it would always be.
Somewhere in life everyone has to accept what just is. Not to minimize anything but you have some heavy duty health problems, are an addict and yet quality of life must be looked at as well. Not sure why there was so much pressure at times it seems on you to stop. As if to say just because you are an addict, just because you had to take a pill meant that your life would never be good. I sure as hell cant see sitting in bed, losing time, missing good things and days not taking a pill as much of a life either.
This is yours only. You know what living and dying is. No one can be in your head to say what should be. I think you are more then capable of walking a road that keeps you out of chasing down insanity and living the best you can. There has to be in this life, some sort of balance struck between what we can and cant do. Where those need to set limits, find acceptance, be accountable, take care of themselves as a whole not just with one way. You can find that balance for you..
Never give up, never give in and never stop seeking alternatives, and never stop living.
I wish you days of peace, days of endless happiness, and for god sake have a blast!
Take good care of you,
Love,
Tina
I have watched you put yourself through hell, mentally, physically and emotionally. In this search for answers that were in you all along. You always knew you were an addict, but fought so hard to try to live life without pills. What great courage you showed in trying to make sure you explored the possibilities
This might not go over so well, but quite honestly I dont care. This is for you, anyone else who reads and wants to justify their behavior with it that is on them, as it would always be.
Somewhere in life everyone has to accept what just is. Not to minimize anything but you have some heavy duty health problems, are an addict and yet quality of life must be looked at as well. Not sure why there was so much pressure at times it seems on you to stop. As if to say just because you are an addict, just because you had to take a pill meant that your life would never be good. I sure as hell cant see sitting in bed, losing time, missing good things and days not taking a pill as much of a life either.
This is yours only. You know what living and dying is. No one can be in your head to say what should be. I think you are more then capable of walking a road that keeps you out of chasing down insanity and living the best you can. There has to be in this life, some sort of balance struck between what we can and cant do. Where those need to set limits, find acceptance, be accountable, take care of themselves as a whole not just with one way. You can find that balance for you..
Never give up, never give in and never stop seeking alternatives, and never stop living.
I wish you days of peace, days of endless happiness, and for god sake have a blast!
Take good care of you,
Love,
Tina
Sharon...Huny you must do what YOU feel is best for you.Im sorry the Dr didnt work out & you ended up worse for it.You'll never know how bad I feel.
I respect you more than you realize & hope you & I can still talk from time to time.
I wish you nothing but the best Sharon for you are a very beautiful woman both inside & out.
Again Im sorry if I added to your confusion at all.
Love your little .....s
I respect you more than you realize & hope you & I can still talk from time to time.
I wish you nothing but the best Sharon for you are a very beautiful woman both inside & out.
Again Im sorry if I added to your confusion at all.
Love your little .....s
Even after the detox horror I still had hope that sub was the answer. My body reacted so badly...I should have stopped after the 2nd dose...I am hoping most of it is out of my body....Yesterday morning at 8:30 was the last 2 mg. dose. I knew that after it was too late...So I have been thru serious withdrawls twice in 2 weeks and I have not been able to do this. There must be a reason.It certainly isn't from lack of trying. I pray that God will give me peace in accepting what I cannot change. I will always be trying...I have not given up on the idea(believe it or not) But it would have to be slow and steady. I have neer been this sick in all my life...vomiting, hallucination(yes, from sub) and a migraine headache. I will take my old life back in a heartbeat...at least it was a life. Being so sick that I can barely move...is not a life. I would rather die than relive the past 2 weeks.S
Sharonn, don't forget, I am always an email away! God bless you!
Sharon,
Don't try to do things by yourself. Find a good pain management practice with doctors who are knowledgeable about addiction, and who are responsive to your needs. I don't remember if you're seeing a therapist, but if you are still on xanax, I think you need to be in counseling for anxiety and not simply medicating it away. Perhaps the doctor who is prescribing the xanax could refer you to a psychiatrist/psychologist.
Take care of yourself. I'm sorry the last two weeks have been nell.
Love,
Gina
Don't try to do things by yourself. Find a good pain management practice with doctors who are knowledgeable about addiction, and who are responsive to your needs. I don't remember if you're seeing a therapist, but if you are still on xanax, I think you need to be in counseling for anxiety and not simply medicating it away. Perhaps the doctor who is prescribing the xanax could refer you to a psychiatrist/psychologist.
Take care of yourself. I'm sorry the last two weeks have been nell.
Love,
Gina
Sharon, I am so sorry for your pain. I am new to this board and to this living without
opiates. My experiece is different than yours, but, we both want the same thing.
I am on my knees saying a prayer for you. Gracie
opiates. My experiece is different than yours, but, we both want the same thing.
I am on my knees saying a prayer for you. Gracie
I know I did my best..thank you for your prayers...I will be ok..I am a fighter. Love, S
Dear Sharonn,
I feel so bad that you have been through so much pain and horror lately. I just wanted to say that I can understand the chronic physical pain you endure. It can really wear a person down physically and maybe more important mentally. Just my opinion but it truly sounds like you need to be on some sort of medication for pain. And Sharonn dear, some sort of face to face therapy would be so helpful in letting out all your concerns, hopes and fears. One last thing I wanted to say is I have no info for you on Sub, but oh do I on Xanax. At least the w/d's from Xanax...I ended up in a psych ward of a hospital due to hallucinations when I c/t them. It was like no science fiction book you have read or movie seen. The things I was seeing and hearing were REAL TO ME!!! Unfortunately, or rather fortunately they were NOT real...I was so petrified of what people were trying to do to me in the ER that I actually tried to steal an amblulance to escape. Got as far as the front seat before Security yanked me out! Sounds funny but it wasn't! Nightmare! Please Sharonn consult your doctor re: stopping the Xanax...the w/d's are bad if you have been on them a while or large amounts. Just my 2 cents but that's where I think your hallucinations are (were) coming from.
Oh, and I think you do have a place here. There are chronic pain sufferers that think they are addicts just because they have been on long term meds. Not true that they are addicts. However I do think if you are ever thinking of getting off your meds again that it is done strictly under a doctor's supervision.
Again I am so sorry that you have suffered so much lately Sharonn. Feel better soon!
Jan
I feel so bad that you have been through so much pain and horror lately. I just wanted to say that I can understand the chronic physical pain you endure. It can really wear a person down physically and maybe more important mentally. Just my opinion but it truly sounds like you need to be on some sort of medication for pain. And Sharonn dear, some sort of face to face therapy would be so helpful in letting out all your concerns, hopes and fears. One last thing I wanted to say is I have no info for you on Sub, but oh do I on Xanax. At least the w/d's from Xanax...I ended up in a psych ward of a hospital due to hallucinations when I c/t them. It was like no science fiction book you have read or movie seen. The things I was seeing and hearing were REAL TO ME!!! Unfortunately, or rather fortunately they were NOT real...I was so petrified of what people were trying to do to me in the ER that I actually tried to steal an amblulance to escape. Got as far as the front seat before Security yanked me out! Sounds funny but it wasn't! Nightmare! Please Sharonn consult your doctor re: stopping the Xanax...the w/d's are bad if you have been on them a while or large amounts. Just my 2 cents but that's where I think your hallucinations are (were) coming from.
Oh, and I think you do have a place here. There are chronic pain sufferers that think they are addicts just because they have been on long term meds. Not true that they are addicts. However I do think if you are ever thinking of getting off your meds again that it is done strictly under a doctor's supervision.
Again I am so sorry that you have suffered so much lately Sharonn. Feel better soon!
Jan
sharonn i would be doing a disservice to this board and you, if I did not correct the hallucination comment, you were not having hallucinations from the sub, if anyone has told you this, then they are gravely misinformed.
If you had them they were for other reasons, not sub or any form of sub.
If you had them they were for other reasons, not sub or any form of sub.
(((((((((((((((((sharon))))))))))))))))))))))
God Bless you..........
thinking of you.........
thumper
God Bless you..........
thinking of you.........
thumper
Jan, I agree with you. I bet my Xanax exerpeince was very similar to yours. Sound very much the same.
Sharonn, are you sure the hallicinations were not from Xanax withdrawal? Its really really common. Very vidid ones too.
Sharonn, are you sure the hallicinations were not from Xanax withdrawal? Its really really common. Very vidid ones too.
From this website:
http://www.xanax-effects.com/xanax_...l_symptoms.html
Xanax Withdrawal Symptoms
Xanax is a triazolobenzodiazepine that is popularly used as an anti-anxiety pill. It is highly administered for its anti-panic and anti-depressant properties. Although Xanax have proved really successful in relieving anxiety disorder, but when administered on a regular basis, it produces physiological dependence with severe withdrawal symptoms. However, Xanax withdrawal symptoms are related to both dose and duration of usage. Higher doses tend to produce more rapid physiologic addiction than lower doses. The time taken by a body to show withdrawal symptoms may vary from four to six months at dosages between 2 mg. to 4 mg. A history of addiction to Xanax can lead to addiction occur more rapidly over a shorter period of time, with more intense withdrawal symptoms.
Xanax, because of being a short-acting agent, has rapidly arriving and accelerating withdrawal symptoms producing severe Dysphoria at just about six hours from the last dose and generally hitting the highest level at approximately 24 to 72 hours after discontinuation. So, once Xanax generates the physiologic dependence, the ability of the patient to discontinue its use successfully on their own is quite low, and medical support becomes necessary in such cases.
Xanax withdrawal symptoms may include panic attack and a bereavement type of emotional instability. The nature of symptoms being internal makes the diagnosis and cure very difficult. Generally, patients find it hard to describe verbally what is occurring. More hopelessly, many of the descriptions resemble the emotional or psychiatric problem for which they originally started taking Xanax, and leaves in dilemma of taking that as withdrawal symptom. However, Xanax withdrawal symptoms can be easily detected with some of the more defining features.
The early stage of withdrawal symptoms is accompanied by a sense of anxiety and apprehension coupled with rising tremor feelings and slight bi-frontal headache. This stage rapidly progresses to feelings of panic-like anxiety with palpitations. The patient also starts feeling de-realization, along with marked startle response and increased sensory input.
With progressing withdrawal symptoms, patient gets marked disturbance of proprioception, in which he feels dizzy and erratic. One finds simple tasks, like swallowing, signing one's name, talking or even buttoning a shirt extremely difficult.
One may start crying at a sudden or may start shivering out of fear without any external event. These frequent consequences make him feel weak emotionally like bereavement & often describe painful emotions. Because of feelings of amplified sensory inputs, one may experience bizarre misinterpretations ranging from feeling one's teeth rotating in their sockets to parts of their bodies falling off.
Further advancing withdrawal symptom include illusions and hallucinations initially with patterns and geometric shapes, and then into full-formed complex visual hallucinations. Sometimes, at this stage, patients may have delusions of bodily dysfunction. One may feel as if he is having a nervous breakdown, or going crazy in an attempt to understand what is going on. With further progression, disorientation to person get replace with full delirium, and eventually withdrawal ends up at major motor seizure activity. The last triad of symptoms including hallucination, delirium and seizure are classified as major Xanax withdrawal symptoms.
However, all cases are not associated with withdrawal symptoms but most are found to have withdrawal for at least several months. It has been documented that it may take six months to two years to resolve Xanax withdrawal symptoms
http://www.xanax-effects.com/xanax_...l_symptoms.html
Xanax Withdrawal Symptoms
Xanax is a triazolobenzodiazepine that is popularly used as an anti-anxiety pill. It is highly administered for its anti-panic and anti-depressant properties. Although Xanax have proved really successful in relieving anxiety disorder, but when administered on a regular basis, it produces physiological dependence with severe withdrawal symptoms. However, Xanax withdrawal symptoms are related to both dose and duration of usage. Higher doses tend to produce more rapid physiologic addiction than lower doses. The time taken by a body to show withdrawal symptoms may vary from four to six months at dosages between 2 mg. to 4 mg. A history of addiction to Xanax can lead to addiction occur more rapidly over a shorter period of time, with more intense withdrawal symptoms.
Xanax, because of being a short-acting agent, has rapidly arriving and accelerating withdrawal symptoms producing severe Dysphoria at just about six hours from the last dose and generally hitting the highest level at approximately 24 to 72 hours after discontinuation. So, once Xanax generates the physiologic dependence, the ability of the patient to discontinue its use successfully on their own is quite low, and medical support becomes necessary in such cases.
Xanax withdrawal symptoms may include panic attack and a bereavement type of emotional instability. The nature of symptoms being internal makes the diagnosis and cure very difficult. Generally, patients find it hard to describe verbally what is occurring. More hopelessly, many of the descriptions resemble the emotional or psychiatric problem for which they originally started taking Xanax, and leaves in dilemma of taking that as withdrawal symptom. However, Xanax withdrawal symptoms can be easily detected with some of the more defining features.
The early stage of withdrawal symptoms is accompanied by a sense of anxiety and apprehension coupled with rising tremor feelings and slight bi-frontal headache. This stage rapidly progresses to feelings of panic-like anxiety with palpitations. The patient also starts feeling de-realization, along with marked startle response and increased sensory input.
With progressing withdrawal symptoms, patient gets marked disturbance of proprioception, in which he feels dizzy and erratic. One finds simple tasks, like swallowing, signing one's name, talking or even buttoning a shirt extremely difficult.
One may start crying at a sudden or may start shivering out of fear without any external event. These frequent consequences make him feel weak emotionally like bereavement & often describe painful emotions. Because of feelings of amplified sensory inputs, one may experience bizarre misinterpretations ranging from feeling one's teeth rotating in their sockets to parts of their bodies falling off.
Further advancing withdrawal symptom include illusions and hallucinations initially with patterns and geometric shapes, and then into full-formed complex visual hallucinations. Sometimes, at this stage, patients may have delusions of bodily dysfunction. One may feel as if he is having a nervous breakdown, or going crazy in an attempt to understand what is going on. With further progression, disorientation to person get replace with full delirium, and eventually withdrawal ends up at major motor seizure activity. The last triad of symptoms including hallucination, delirium and seizure are classified as major Xanax withdrawal symptoms.
However, all cases are not associated with withdrawal symptoms but most are found to have withdrawal for at least several months. It has been documented that it may take six months to two years to resolve Xanax withdrawal symptoms
I'm telling you guys, I had this type of s***. Not everyone does but it's common. The tooth rotating in the head is a good one and one I could easily relate to. It has nothing in common with an Opiate withdrawal at all. I actually did think I was going insane. Now granted, I cold turkey of a medium size dose I had been given for a LONG time..
The hallucination were horrible.
The hallucination were horrible.
Sharon,
Jeesh, I really am sorry this has been such a rough ride for you. You dont deserve that for a second.
I am just now catching back up on the board, took a breather, and I want to apologize for not supporting you, while you went through this. You have always been wonderful to me.
Losing you on this board would suck..........bad.
Do what you feel is right, but please remember you are very cared for here, and come back anytime sweets.
Big Hugs, and Love....Jodi
I also wanted to add: I am no DR. obviously, but I did know of someone years back who took Xanax and came off pretty abruptly and there withdrawal was quite severe. Hallucinations and the whole bit. Scary, considering I am now on a very low dose of Xanax per day for anxiety, but I must say I feel "normal" if that is what you call it for me :)
You take care of YOU
Dont worry about what anyone thinks or says................So many here love you, and have done so much, and would do it over a zillion times.
You are loved sweet one.
Jeesh, I really am sorry this has been such a rough ride for you. You dont deserve that for a second.
I am just now catching back up on the board, took a breather, and I want to apologize for not supporting you, while you went through this. You have always been wonderful to me.
Losing you on this board would suck..........bad.
Do what you feel is right, but please remember you are very cared for here, and come back anytime sweets.
Big Hugs, and Love....Jodi
I also wanted to add: I am no DR. obviously, but I did know of someone years back who took Xanax and came off pretty abruptly and there withdrawal was quite severe. Hallucinations and the whole bit. Scary, considering I am now on a very low dose of Xanax per day for anxiety, but I must say I feel "normal" if that is what you call it for me :)
You take care of YOU
Dont worry about what anyone thinks or says................So many here love you, and have done so much, and would do it over a zillion times.
You are loved sweet one.
I would be remiss if I didn't get on here and say how I completely understand. I am so sorry Sharon. If I contributed in anyway to your hell over the past weeks.
I know you have suffered terribly, I couldn't imagine what you have been through.
Sorry Sharon, follow your gut, take care of yourself. I will miss you here and there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that you will get well and live the life that you deserve.
You have a ton of spunk and charisma.....I just want you to feel better!
Follow your intuition...it won't steer you wrong, I understand how easily you can get caught up in the heat of w/d.
If I have learned anything at all.....it is that I will NEVER EVER put a Benzo in my body under any circumstances!!
Your are a good person....I will miss you!
I know you have suffered terribly, I couldn't imagine what you have been through.
Sorry Sharon, follow your gut, take care of yourself. I will miss you here and there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that you will get well and live the life that you deserve.
You have a ton of spunk and charisma.....I just want you to feel better!
Follow your intuition...it won't steer you wrong, I understand how easily you can get caught up in the heat of w/d.
If I have learned anything at all.....it is that I will NEVER EVER put a Benzo in my body under any circumstances!!
Your are a good person....I will miss you!
I haven't been around for a few days and have missed most of what's happend to you Sharonn. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. Correct me if I'm wrong but do you think that the reason you got so sick from the sub is because you weren't in withdrawals long enough? Sub isn't the answer for everyone, but pain pills aren't the answer either and I hope you didn't go back to using. You are going to feel bad for awhile, it's just the nature of the beast. But there is light at the end of the tunnel if you can just stop taking everything. Your poor little body is telling you "enough". Please Sharonn, find a women's meeting and get some help. Take care.
Brooke how can you say
Posts: 2621
Joined: November 11, 2005
sharonn i would be doing a disservice to this board and you, if I did not correct the hallucination comment, you were not having hallucinations from the sub, if anyone has told you this, then they are gravely misinformed.
If you had them they were for other reasons, not sub or any form of sub.
_______________________________________________________________
How the ??? do you know what causes anything with a person like Sharon who is taking multiple drugs Prednisone you ever take it?
I hallucinated a bunch of times on and off sub during etc etc How do you post such NONSENSE?
Sharon is a sick woman --mentally with her pain and fear the sub could have caused her reaction. Nobody knows
a Disservice ?? LMAO OKAY Brooke.
Good thing I released all my tensions earlier--(THANKS FRIEND) or I would rant more LOL
But besides that Brooke I seriously hope your doing Okay. And I mean that. You just crack me up and it would be a disservice not to share my thoughts.
Have a good night--Brooke --Jeff
Posts: 2621
Joined: November 11, 2005
sharonn i would be doing a disservice to this board and you, if I did not correct the hallucination comment, you were not having hallucinations from the sub, if anyone has told you this, then they are gravely misinformed.
If you had them they were for other reasons, not sub or any form of sub.
_______________________________________________________________
How the ??? do you know what causes anything with a person like Sharon who is taking multiple drugs Prednisone you ever take it?
I hallucinated a bunch of times on and off sub during etc etc How do you post such NONSENSE?
Sharon is a sick woman --mentally with her pain and fear the sub could have caused her reaction. Nobody knows
a Disservice ?? LMAO OKAY Brooke.
Good thing I released all my tensions earlier--(THANKS FRIEND) or I would rant more LOL
But besides that Brooke I seriously hope your doing Okay. And I mean that. You just crack me up and it would be a disservice not to share my thoughts.
Have a good night--Brooke --Jeff
Jeff, I would be doing a disservice if I failed to tell you to kiss my white a**. lol
OY VEY!!!!
OY VEY!!!!