My Life

Heroin
1
Hi Everyone,
haven't been on for a couple of weeks as I have to be honest after last time I spoke to you I fecked up a bit but back on track now. Had my 20 week scan everything looking good and I have to admit after seeing my baby on the screen I felt really guilty. Things must be getting better as I'm even listerning to music, I'd forgotten how good that can be for the soul. Not sleeping very well but I know thats to be expected hopefully it wont last for long. I thought as I have a little time I might as well give you my drug history, so here goes....
First discovered drugs at the age of 14 in the form of magic mushrooms, I loved those slimmy little feckers and would spend most of the mushroom season off my box, around this time I also found out about pot, not as much fun but it became the main stay in my life for a good 20 years, yes I'm old enough to know better. By 16 I'd left home and tryed gear for the first time, smoked in a rizzla did'nt think it was any different to pot at the time. Then I became pregnant with my first child and gave up everything for a couple of years long enough to get married and have anouther baby. I did see the effect gear had on those around me and said I'll never end up like that (so superiour). Two girls lost there kids (it was the 80's thank God their a bit more aware now) and ended up selling thereselfs most of the blokes did time for robberey Left my hubby in 89 leaving the kids with him one of the biggest regrets of my life as even though the eldest eventually came back to me I have had very little contact with the younger one since. Anyway upon leaving my hubby went on what can only be discribed as a 10 year binge all night parties loads of 'E', speed progressing slowly on to coke and crack. Ended up living with a dealer from the age of 26 and had two kids to him when I was 30 and 33. Doomed relationship where I gave up on drugs to concentrate on motherhood he carried on so we split ( I kept both the kids and my eldest now lived with me) Again history repeated its self and I hit the self destuct button and started partying again years of living with a dealer made it very easy and cheap to get hold of any drugs I wanted, but age and kids made the recovery harder to get over. Started useing gear to come down with foolishly thinking I could do it once or twice a week and not get too caught up in it all more fool me. Soon stopped going out in favour of stayong in getting stoned on gear. I knew my present partner from years earlier, We got togeather about 6 months after my relationship with the dealer broke down he lived in London while I stayed in Devon so he didn'd see the worst of it untill he brought us a house to live in togeather, he still travels to work every week and comes home at the weekend so he still doesn't know the full truth of everything I've done. He realised pretty quickly that I had a problem and it was thanks to him that I first got treatment for my herion addiction and about 3 years ago I went on subutex but quickly learn't that A) I could inject them if I wanted, what was I thinking? And b) I could cheat the drug tests by getting the kids to pee in a bucket for me and by keeping that warm use that instead. and sell the subby's for gear. He thought I was doing realy well and all the time it was a big fat lie. He knew I had started useing again when I found out I was pregnant but I told him I had it under control which I thought I did untill I tryed to stop. Well finger crossed its been nearly two weeks now.

Love to you all,
Keep smiling,
Ordy.
2
I think about 1/2 of the samples left at the mdone clinic Im on, are from the kids ,of the clients that are on the program. Who are we fooling???
aLL the best
jack
3
long time no c jack.. keeping clean i hope ;) Wish u both all the best.. ooo baby.. whens it due?
Shud keep off for that at least.. no sufffeering from any of that pre/post natal depression s*** now ya hear.. all my love xXx
4
Baby's due 1st July but if my pasy pregnancys are any thing to go by it will arrive anything up to two weeks early.
ordy
5
If baby can hang on till the 3rd-- he/she will be born on my b-day

Another yankee doodle dandy
6
Ordy
Thanks for sharing. Good luck w/ the pregnency.Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?
Well since you came out and shared your story like that i'll tell you a little about me.
Well i live in the u.s New york. I started smoking pot at 12 and in high school drinking at parties on weekends i loved pot at about 14 i got into acid and shrooms and really liked that too. at 16 got pregnet gave everything up and had a beutiful baby and i left his father and got a place of my own and met a new guy we got involved in pills he had severe head trauma and got oxycotin persribed at that time it was really blowing up in my town so i found a good conection and was sellin them and making a pretty good living and i started using them alot and i was snorting them after a while of that i got board and alot of people were going to herion and most of my pill conections in the city did H so they hooked me up and i went to a few detoxes and nothing seemed to work so i went to a rehab and i was there for a while ended up getting kicked out and went back w/ my parents and stayed clean for a while and i messed up before you knew it i was back w/ my ex and selling my body to get what i needed and eventully i got arrested and went to jail then went on the run agian till it got so bad i went back to jail then rehab and used maybe 2 times after getting out but have been clean since and it's been 6 months clean now.
Good luck w/ everythin and if you ever need anyone to talk to let me knoe i'll give you my e-mail. Bye -Mia
7
Ordy

Thanks for sharing. i am usually on the coke board but i wander around the boards after all we are all addicted to one thing or another.
I am glad thet you are back in recovery and i would like to wish you well.

Best wishes

Emily