Last night my little brother, who is 18, rolled his car. His blood alcohol level was .25. He ripped his face off in the crash then walked to a nearby house for help.
We are all lost as to what to do. He was supposed to enlist in the Army, but now he can't. He thinks he doesn't have a problem and calls himself a "party guy". If we try to talk to him as a group, he will pull away and if my parents address him on it he tells them to butt out. He gets very irritated when you criticize him about anything.
He needs couseling. We know that, the problem is he goes once and thinks he's better. Alcoholism is everywhere in my family. My father doesn't drink because of it and my mother drinks very rarely. Both have parents and brothers and sisters that have a problem with alcohol.
Help? A year and a half ago we buried my husbands 26 year old cousin that died in a car accident because he was drunk. I will NOT go through that with my brother! Thanks.
Sorry to hear of your situation, you obviously care for your brother.
He has to figure this out for himself, You can't do it for him. Your family has to make sure they don't support his drinking in any way and set boundaries for him that are non-negotiable.
If you want to help your brother, first help yourself. Al Anon meetings will give you a new perspective on how to deal with his drinking, whether he stops or not.Seeing that you are going to meetings because of his drinking might get him to have a look at himself.
I wish you good luck.
Sean
He has to figure this out for himself, You can't do it for him. Your family has to make sure they don't support his drinking in any way and set boundaries for him that are non-negotiable.
If you want to help your brother, first help yourself. Al Anon meetings will give you a new perspective on how to deal with his drinking, whether he stops or not.Seeing that you are going to meetings because of his drinking might get him to have a look at himself.
I wish you good luck.
Sean
It seems harsh for you to hear that all you can do is to get help for yourself.. but ultimately this ends up giving help to your brother.. if you think about it that way.
I have been there, trying to fix an alcoholic and what helped me is understanding the disease of alcoholism.. Read as much as you can.. understand the physical / biological nature of the disease .. this explains why will-power just doesnt work. Also to understand the thinking (the irrationality) behind the thinking of somebody with an addition is also helpful.
On this board someone recommended under the influence (cant remember the authors name) to get a full understanding of the disease.. It is detailed but it gives great medical / biological insight.
I am currently reading a book called addictive thinking by Abraham Twerski. It just gives an insight into the mind of an addict \ alcoholic and ALSO an insight into the mind of a codependent. Not sure how you rate yourself but I realised I had become a codependent through wanting to care for someone who had no interest in taking care of themselves.. (he let all the care fall into my hands.. not sure which came first)
I also have been attending al-anon. It would help to come to terms with the anxiety, your desire to control your brother etc. I would definitely recommend going to these meetings. It has done me the world of good.
Anyway best of luck. Your brother is young and there is every reason that he will get better. But these things take time. and so much patience.
Best of luck
L.X
I have been there, trying to fix an alcoholic and what helped me is understanding the disease of alcoholism.. Read as much as you can.. understand the physical / biological nature of the disease .. this explains why will-power just doesnt work. Also to understand the thinking (the irrationality) behind the thinking of somebody with an addition is also helpful.
On this board someone recommended under the influence (cant remember the authors name) to get a full understanding of the disease.. It is detailed but it gives great medical / biological insight.
I am currently reading a book called addictive thinking by Abraham Twerski. It just gives an insight into the mind of an addict \ alcoholic and ALSO an insight into the mind of a codependent. Not sure how you rate yourself but I realised I had become a codependent through wanting to care for someone who had no interest in taking care of themselves.. (he let all the care fall into my hands.. not sure which came first)
I also have been attending al-anon. It would help to come to terms with the anxiety, your desire to control your brother etc. I would definitely recommend going to these meetings. It has done me the world of good.
Anyway best of luck. Your brother is young and there is every reason that he will get better. But these things take time. and so much patience.
Best of luck
L.X
Thank you for your support. We have had several discussions and my dad has determined that my brother is treating his depression with alcohol. Most of the alcoholics in my family suffer from it. Some how he needs to be conviced that treatment and medication isn't bad. He thinks that it shows a sign of weakness. He keeps telling us to leave him alone.
We are just taking one day at a time.
We are just taking one day at a time.
