I have been through the stealing, lying and drug interventions the last 8 years with my 30 year old son. He uses meth. I've spent at least ten thousand dollars on his bills. I'm currently trying touch love. He has called 36 times in 3 days. I know he wants money and will give me one of his many excuses. My stomach is in knots and I can't relax or occupy my mind with anything except I'm gonna get a call he was shot, locked up or dead and I could've prevented it by helping. Have I done enough, what else can I do?. I got a call 30 years ago my 14 year old brother who I found with bullet in head from suicide. I'm scared of getting that call again. He worked until December last year when meth got him fired an he no longer cares to work. In February he text me for 700. To pay his rent but I told him I didn't have it. He in s.c. I in m.s..
He then text where his body could be found in 45 minutes. We called police and ambulance who found him at park where he said he'd be alive. We talked police into mental health an rehab hospital which he stayed 6 days. He told my husband he only said that for money. It's been down hill since and I still can't believe he put me through that. He also been in 30 day rehab where we supported his wife an two toddler sons. God I want my son back and please lord don't let him get hurt.
Oh my god today he is 30. He tried call again at 8am. Still haven't answered his call I'm afraid if I tell him this is final no more money that he will go off deep end and kill self, by not answering he will not know he is cut off completely of money but give up asking and get his self together. My stomach been in knots six days don't know if next call is him wanting money or about him. God please help us!
Dear Linda,
He is using the classic guilt trip: if you don't help me, here is where you can find my body. Of all the recovering addicts I know, this is one of the lines used the most.
You need to halt all enabling behavior. Enabling is a "get out of jail free" card. When enabling stops, then responsibility for the addiction rests solely with the addict. In my opinion this is an important stepping stone if the addict choses recovery. In other words, even though this is God-awful painful, you are doing your part by stopping enablilng.
For you, I think it is important you reach out to other people struggling with the same issue. Many of us found a better way to live. Most of us re-discovered out sanity. Our days and mood do not have to swing up & down based on the addict is doing. We can handle life on life's terms and live reasonably happy one day at a time.
If you have not already done so, I strongly suggest you find a support group. Do not try to do this on your own. Al Anon and NAR Anon are good options. If you are a faith-based person there are other types of family support groups.
There are also real good people on this message board. Please let me know if I can elaborate.
Flyboy
He is using the classic guilt trip: if you don't help me, here is where you can find my body. Of all the recovering addicts I know, this is one of the lines used the most.
You need to halt all enabling behavior. Enabling is a "get out of jail free" card. When enabling stops, then responsibility for the addiction rests solely with the addict. In my opinion this is an important stepping stone if the addict choses recovery. In other words, even though this is God-awful painful, you are doing your part by stopping enablilng.
For you, I think it is important you reach out to other people struggling with the same issue. Many of us found a better way to live. Most of us re-discovered out sanity. Our days and mood do not have to swing up & down based on the addict is doing. We can handle life on life's terms and live reasonably happy one day at a time.
If you have not already done so, I strongly suggest you find a support group. Do not try to do this on your own. Al Anon and NAR Anon are good options. If you are a faith-based person there are other types of family support groups.
There are also real good people on this message board. Please let me know if I can elaborate.
Flyboy
