MY opinion .The decision to use or not to use sub is MY decision.I 've been reading some(all ) the posts concerning sub and it's gotten me a little twisted.The posts I find the most informative are those that voice no opinion only experience.Not the exeriences of people you know, people you see at meetings or in group therapy or people whose posts you read.There seem to be some 3rd party critics whose only experience with sub is what they have seen in other people.Kudos to the people who are stable in thier recovery.It is life or death.But once we stand on the sobriety platform and begin to sound like.."don't they realize there just trading addictions,,,they have to withdrawl from sub anyway,,,if they just worked the program,,,and so on.That is along the same lines as the non addict saying things like "if he only stopped""he has everything a person could want,why does he...."I recently started the sub and am well aware of why.to give me a break from shooting dope,so I dont die from a hot bag.So I dont have to stick some one up,or turn another trick .Spread Aids, etc,etc.I have achieved some quality sobriety through A.A. and outpatient treatment.I picked up in March and have been struggling since. 1 month in 2 out...kick. 2 months out, kick.my name is Rich ...20 days back...pick up (just this once,I won't catch a habbit, This time! ) Iam an addict. tried and true. When I use all bets are off.Once i pick up I am not capable of knowing what will happen. I fortunately have alot...I dont have aids or hep c,never robbed or resorted to some of the more hideous lifestyles of some addicts.But I do look into my daughters eyes,and my families and most importantly my own. I have a much better chance at humanity using suboxone than Insanity using Heroin .
oh,by the way this is my first posting here.pleased to meet everyone.wheww,thanks for letting me vent.:)
Rich,
I support you in your decision, that was a very well put opinion. Thanks for the update on your recovery and I hope it works for you. you should post more often.
Redd
I support you in your decision, that was a very well put opinion. Thanks for the update on your recovery and I hope it works for you. you should post more often.
Redd
Rich:
Welcome. Awesome post...
Rachel
Welcome. Awesome post...
Rachel
Live and let live I reckon,
Hi Im an addict but at the moment Im clean and loving it and we have no sub here but if it was available I think I would have used it for sure,sheesh in the last few years Ive had so many goes at kicking this blasted habit for a six,its blasted hard when your whole life from around 14 onwards has been drugs of some sort,thank god most of them have not been a problem like opiates have and at different stages I wouldnt trade any of my experiances with drugs for anything,Im in my 40's and most of the time when I look in the mirror Im reosonably happy with what I see,god I remember thinking I could save the world when I was tripping on some of Timothy O Leary's LSD,I remember going to my girlfriend at the time room each evening while she was working as a waitress and I would smoke some lovely afghani(sp)hashish mmmm and read the Lord of the Rings,I guess what I am saying is that drugs have had a hand shaping who I am today and yes I love opiates and allways will be an addict and I can truly say that there is no other drug that has the effect on me that opiates have,but at the moment I am well and truly into just over 4 months clean of any opiates,i HAVENT INJECTED MYSELF FOR OVER 4 MONTHS,wow,that is so cool and I can look at those words and feel so proud of myself and after all these years of using opiates and feeling like I would never ever be free from them and to be able to write those words down blows me right away and another thing,sure it is taking a long time to sort of feel ok again,but when I do get those moments of not feeling fatigued etc,IT IS WONDERFUL,Absolutely wonderful to feel some feelings and emotions that have been hidden away for so long,so to me if you use sub,cold turkey or even if you use methadone I dont care,Im just glad that you are doing something about your problem and if methadone or sub or AA,NA keep one of you alive,THAT IS BLASTED GREAT,can I say that I will never ever inject myself with opiates again,NO I cant,I am an addict and each day I am going to fight the fight to keep myself clean from opiates and enjoy some of the things in life I had forgotten about,but being free from opiates like I am now and being able to look in the mirror and be reosonably happy with what I see makes me feel sort of proud of myself and grateful for some of the experiances that have got me to where I am now,
thank you for reading and letting me have a vent and please anyone still using or having trouble giving up,please find a way to stop using,who cares if its sub,meth or AA,NA,please just give it a go and know this,it really does get a bit better each day and just discovering some of these lost feelings and emotions is nearly as good a feeling as any drug,sometimes I feel like I am on some sort of drug as I get these waves of emotions flooding through me.
P.S. i had an appointment with a budget advisor just recently and it is hard for me to believe that I have come this far and was able to even think about seeing a budget advisor and then follow through with the appointment,its all good and it is not going to take as long as I thought it would to sort out the mess I had created over the last 8 years.
BTW I first injected myself with heroin when I was 17 and then over the next 8 years at different times I was fighting my addiction,well from around 25 years of age I didnt abuse opiates again untill I was about 40,stupid ahh,all those years of being clean from opiates and needles only to blow it,I had my first child when I was 19 and I have raised 4 kids and have 5 grandkids,for the last few years most of my family have been prasticing tough love on me and most of them still dont believe it when they find out Im clean,until they can look me in the eye,about 2 years ago I stopped telling any of my family or friends that I was trying to get clean as it was getting very embarrising,allways saying that this time I will make it,only for them to see me a bit later on and I would still be using,so each time I tried to stop over the last couple years,I just went for it by myself and I do have to say its lovely to run into someone I knew when I was using and they can see that Im for the moment,clean,it feels good as,god I isolated myself from so many people while I was using.
Hi Im an addict but at the moment Im clean and loving it and we have no sub here but if it was available I think I would have used it for sure,sheesh in the last few years Ive had so many goes at kicking this blasted habit for a six,its blasted hard when your whole life from around 14 onwards has been drugs of some sort,thank god most of them have not been a problem like opiates have and at different stages I wouldnt trade any of my experiances with drugs for anything,Im in my 40's and most of the time when I look in the mirror Im reosonably happy with what I see,god I remember thinking I could save the world when I was tripping on some of Timothy O Leary's LSD,I remember going to my girlfriend at the time room each evening while she was working as a waitress and I would smoke some lovely afghani(sp)hashish mmmm and read the Lord of the Rings,I guess what I am saying is that drugs have had a hand shaping who I am today and yes I love opiates and allways will be an addict and I can truly say that there is no other drug that has the effect on me that opiates have,but at the moment I am well and truly into just over 4 months clean of any opiates,i HAVENT INJECTED MYSELF FOR OVER 4 MONTHS,wow,that is so cool and I can look at those words and feel so proud of myself and after all these years of using opiates and feeling like I would never ever be free from them and to be able to write those words down blows me right away and another thing,sure it is taking a long time to sort of feel ok again,but when I do get those moments of not feeling fatigued etc,IT IS WONDERFUL,Absolutely wonderful to feel some feelings and emotions that have been hidden away for so long,so to me if you use sub,cold turkey or even if you use methadone I dont care,Im just glad that you are doing something about your problem and if methadone or sub or AA,NA keep one of you alive,THAT IS BLASTED GREAT,can I say that I will never ever inject myself with opiates again,NO I cant,I am an addict and each day I am going to fight the fight to keep myself clean from opiates and enjoy some of the things in life I had forgotten about,but being free from opiates like I am now and being able to look in the mirror and be reosonably happy with what I see makes me feel sort of proud of myself and grateful for some of the experiances that have got me to where I am now,
thank you for reading and letting me have a vent and please anyone still using or having trouble giving up,please find a way to stop using,who cares if its sub,meth or AA,NA,please just give it a go and know this,it really does get a bit better each day and just discovering some of these lost feelings and emotions is nearly as good a feeling as any drug,sometimes I feel like I am on some sort of drug as I get these waves of emotions flooding through me.
P.S. i had an appointment with a budget advisor just recently and it is hard for me to believe that I have come this far and was able to even think about seeing a budget advisor and then follow through with the appointment,its all good and it is not going to take as long as I thought it would to sort out the mess I had created over the last 8 years.
BTW I first injected myself with heroin when I was 17 and then over the next 8 years at different times I was fighting my addiction,well from around 25 years of age I didnt abuse opiates again untill I was about 40,stupid ahh,all those years of being clean from opiates and needles only to blow it,I had my first child when I was 19 and I have raised 4 kids and have 5 grandkids,for the last few years most of my family have been prasticing tough love on me and most of them still dont believe it when they find out Im clean,until they can look me in the eye,about 2 years ago I stopped telling any of my family or friends that I was trying to get clean as it was getting very embarrising,allways saying that this time I will make it,only for them to see me a bit later on and I would still be using,so each time I tried to stop over the last couple years,I just went for it by myself and I do have to say its lovely to run into someone I knew when I was using and they can see that Im for the moment,clean,it feels good as,god I isolated myself from so many people while I was using.
Hi rich and welcome to the site what a very good post lets here more from you please. I believe that what ever it takes to change your way of life and what ever we do to achieve that is a valuble lesson if it works its a bonus either way try being the word of the day lol. take care jackiexxxxx
Thankyou, for the support.I am a member as of yesterday and already feel part of a terrific family.Myself, as an addict I spend alot of time hiding,denying, justifying, lying, etc. It's refreshing to be able to pull my head from the sand and have a look around and not feel threatened.definately cool!
Thanks,
Rich
Thanks,
Rich
Welcome Rich -- great post. Glad you're here.
Rich,
welcome again. sometimes venting is just what the doctor ordered. this place is a great sounding board. keep posting, I'll look for your progress.
Redd
welcome again. sometimes venting is just what the doctor ordered. this place is a great sounding board. keep posting, I'll look for your progress.
Redd
Hi Phantom,
Didn't mean to not recognize your post, which I could identify with a lot. Thanks for giving a little more of your story. And congratulations on your 4 months -- I know the feeling you're talling about.... M.
Didn't mean to not recognize your post, which I could identify with a lot. Thanks for giving a little more of your story. And congratulations on your 4 months -- I know the feeling you're talling about.... M.
Rich, Hey and welcome to the board. Great post. I mean REALLY great post. Please stick around and post again.
Phantom........your heartfelt honestly had me choked up. I am so happy for you and your family. Congratulations on your 4 months! Awesome! Welcome to the board and please post more.
Thank you None and T-Mom for the welcome,it feels good to have posted and the other day when I put my nose into a thread about Danny and the way he felt about junkies I straight away wished that I had not been so judgemental,with my attitude and the way I posted to Danny,he will never stop thinking the way he does about us and I would much rather him come to know that a lot of us are not that bad a person and that our drugs of choice lead us down the path to being junkies and its not as if we ever started out thinking that we would become junkies,I will keep working on that one,thats for sure,I also posted that I have been a very long time reader here and Im telling you,this place played a big part in my being able to stop using,I love it when I come here and see friendship,caring attitudes,support and love between us all,it makes my day,I can understand anyone really believing that there way is the best way as it has worked for them,but I could never advocate just my way for someone else as we are all DIFFERENT and the main thing is,whatever way you stop using,at least you have stopped.
Rich, your post was dead-on.... Everyone's situation is different & no one can tell someone else how they should or shouldn't approach sobriety.
So many times my husband has said "Just don't take the stupid pills" and I'll tell him "It's not that easy." He always says, "Yes it is....." He doesn't know the war going on in my head or the urges that I just can't control.
I am doing the thing that is best for ME. It may not be for everyone, but I have to tell you..... I've seen a lot of people struggling on this site and relapsing or sick and depressed and about to lose their mind over this..... After my good experience with the sub, I am definitely going to recommend it to others..... I am just not going to do like a lot of people on here and say "My way is the ONLY way. You have to do it this way or you will fail." because I don't believe that is true.....
Congratulations on coming as far as you have..... and good luck for the future.
Danielle
So many times my husband has said "Just don't take the stupid pills" and I'll tell him "It's not that easy." He always says, "Yes it is....." He doesn't know the war going on in my head or the urges that I just can't control.
I am doing the thing that is best for ME. It may not be for everyone, but I have to tell you..... I've seen a lot of people struggling on this site and relapsing or sick and depressed and about to lose their mind over this..... After my good experience with the sub, I am definitely going to recommend it to others..... I am just not going to do like a lot of people on here and say "My way is the ONLY way. You have to do it this way or you will fail." because I don't believe that is true.....
Congratulations on coming as far as you have..... and good luck for the future.
Danielle
Hey Danielle,we share the same Birthday..8/28...cool,I'm in 65 though.And my daughters name is danielle.So,you gotta be cool!!!
RICH THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN MORE DIPLAMATIC ON HOW I REACTED TOWARDS SOMEONE WHO HADENT USED SUB AND FELT THAT WE WERE CHEATING THE ADDICTION PROGRAM BY USING IT AND NO DOING COLD TURKEY LIKE HE DID. FOR THAT I AM SORRY ON THE WAY I BLEW UP. BUT THATS THE ITAILIAN IN ME.AND I WILL ALWAYS REACT IF I FEEL THAT I AM BEING WRONGED. FOR EVERY BODY THAT I HAD IT OUT WITH, I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE.
How anyone gets cleans is their own business. Who am I to tell someone else how to live their life? To me it's all about our shared desire to get clean and stay clean. If the right post appears, or I'm asked, I'm always happy to share my experience, stength and hope.
I've never used sub, just wasn't offered to me. If it was I'm pretty sure I would have. But that's not important to me now..I have almost 4 weeks clean, and I've relapsed enough times to know that but for the grace of God, today I've made it another 24 hours clean. That is a miracle!
So my only suggestion, one we all know, is that it's not just about getting clean, but just as importantly about staying clean.
Good luck to everyone;
Jim
I've never used sub, just wasn't offered to me. If it was I'm pretty sure I would have. But that's not important to me now..I have almost 4 weeks clean, and I've relapsed enough times to know that but for the grace of God, today I've made it another 24 hours clean. That is a miracle!
So my only suggestion, one we all know, is that it's not just about getting clean, but just as importantly about staying clean.
Good luck to everyone;
Jim
