Sorry to leave you all hanging. Ive been really busy and had lots to think about! Well he did propose and in the most awesome way. But you all will be proud of me. I told him to give me some time. I told him that i had alot to think about when it came to us and my own future. I told him that i loved him and wanted nothing more than to marry him but he had to really prove to me that he was going to change and follow by my original rules that i had set. And ya know what he did... He said okay thats fine. He starts his addict classes Monday and is taking a drug test every 2 weeks. It isnt a gaurentee that things will truly change but its a start and im willing to stick around to see the results. HES TRYING! But until i see a permenant change no marriage! But im still im hanging on in hopes! It seems like everything is slowly, finally working itself out!
good for you, wait a year. :)
You are a wise and intelligent human being, and your man sounds like he's not far behind you! ;-)
Good job ! Keep up the excellent communication skills between you....
My husband and I are far from perfect (obviously) and still not all the way out of the woods yet, I'd like to recommend a book for you both to share.....as a common law couple anyway....I despise those mars and venus books btw !!!
Seven Secrets to a Happy Marriage
By John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver
The seven principles are based on two decades of study with over 700 couples: the masters and disasters of marriage. Dr. Gottman has culled the most fundamental practices of happy and successful marriages from studies in which he has been able to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy.
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the co-founder of the The Gottman Institute (formerly called Seattle Marital & Family Institute), he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His new book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, provides powerful evidence--and concrete guidelines--for making marriage work.
What are the seven principles?
Maintain a love map
Foster fondness and admiration
Turn toward instead of away.
Accept your partner's influence
Solve solvable conflicts
Cope with unresolvable conflicts
Create shared meaning
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, packed with questionnaires and exercises, will guide couples in concrete ways to the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Keys to the seven principles relate to friendship, the relations between the sexes, and the role of anger in stable marriages.
Friendship in marriage is an inoculation against distress and disruption. This means keeping up with your partner's triumphs and disappointments on a daily basis.
Men and women: When it comes to making marriage work, men and women are a lot alike--not from different planets. The research shows that men and women have a similar capacity and desire for a loving and intimate romantic friendship. As Dr. Gottman says, "men and women are from earth."
Anger: Popular therapies and marriage advice have one central point exactly wrong: When partners express anger it is not destructive to marriages. In fact anger--uncorrupted by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling--is functional for marriage.
Good job ! Keep up the excellent communication skills between you....
My husband and I are far from perfect (obviously) and still not all the way out of the woods yet, I'd like to recommend a book for you both to share.....as a common law couple anyway....I despise those mars and venus books btw !!!
Seven Secrets to a Happy Marriage
By John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver
The seven principles are based on two decades of study with over 700 couples: the masters and disasters of marriage. Dr. Gottman has culled the most fundamental practices of happy and successful marriages from studies in which he has been able to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy.
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the co-founder of the The Gottman Institute (formerly called Seattle Marital & Family Institute), he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His new book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, provides powerful evidence--and concrete guidelines--for making marriage work.
What are the seven principles?
Maintain a love map
Foster fondness and admiration
Turn toward instead of away.
Accept your partner's influence
Solve solvable conflicts
Cope with unresolvable conflicts
Create shared meaning
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, packed with questionnaires and exercises, will guide couples in concrete ways to the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Keys to the seven principles relate to friendship, the relations between the sexes, and the role of anger in stable marriages.
Friendship in marriage is an inoculation against distress and disruption. This means keeping up with your partner's triumphs and disappointments on a daily basis.
Men and women: When it comes to making marriage work, men and women are a lot alike--not from different planets. The research shows that men and women have a similar capacity and desire for a loving and intimate romantic friendship. As Dr. Gottman says, "men and women are from earth."
Anger: Popular therapies and marriage advice have one central point exactly wrong: When partners express anger it is not destructive to marriages. In fact anger--uncorrupted by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling--is functional for marriage.
Good for you and hopefully good for him too.
I hope it all works out for you, I agree with the giving it a year of him being sober before planning the wedding.
Take care.
Karen
I hope it all works out for you, I agree with the giving it a year of him being sober before planning the wedding.
Take care.
Karen
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU !!!!!
I take back my previous post about you not listening, you are definately and exception to the rule!!!!
It will be a hard road but well worth it. For you and him both.
I take back my previous post about you not listening, you are definately and exception to the rule!!!!
It will be a hard road but well worth it. For you and him both.
Thank you all for the support and congrats on my decision. Keep the good advice coming. And i will keep you all updated!
