I have some real situations facing my and my family. I am a single mom of a 10 yr. old ASD child. I am also the sister of a heroin addict who has two children of her own. Two months ago I was laid off from my job and my sister and her kiddos, 1 & 3, moved in to help with bills and childcare while I attend night school to finish up my master's degree. It became very apparent within a week that she has a heroin addiction and had been taking her children with her to pick up product and then using with them right there (smoking it is her administration of choice). So my family and I did an intervention last week to which she agreed to. We gave her 5 days to detox with suboxone and then she was to start outpatient, therapy and weekly drug tests. This was our final attempt to help her without removing her right to have her children. My sister has been an addict for nearly 15 yrs, just not always active in her usage. Yesterday (5/4/2016) she sent me a text to let me know that she was on her way and should be home within a half an hour. That was nearly 24 hours ago and even for a drug addict she has NEVER gone this long without communicating. I have called hospitals and check jail rosters in the 3 surrounding counties and nothing. She appears to have vanished and we proceed with filing a missing person report. It appears that she wasn't detoxing at all and may have been fooling us. That or she ran out of suboxone and relapsed, OR some other thing has happened and we have lost her for good!
I am inquiring about the next few steps with these kiddos. They have different dads, both who are not involved in their lives. They are safe with me and I welcome them. They have their own room, they are well taken care of, are no longer put at risk by my sister's habit (which was also putting my child at risk) and my daughter does so good with them, they all are like siblings at this point. I need some guidance on how to go about obtaining legal custody of them and in a manner that will require my sister to go to treatment and get clean before she is allowed to be with her children again. I can't enroll them in preschool and daycare, or take them to the doctor or anything without some court paperwork. I just don't know what my first step is. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. We are all just so heartbroken over her choices. She has hurt us all in the ways that addicts do but it's really these babies who need love, peace, routine, structure and patience. That's where I focus my efforts.
Thank you
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I pray that she is found safe and sound and that she makes the right choices to get and stay clean.
I don't know what state you are in, but contact a lawyer regarding getting temporary custody of her children. If you need suggestions for a lawyer, contact your state bar association or legal aid society. Most attorneys offer free consultations or charge a minimal fee. But this is the only way to learn what your legal options are and the procedure. At least in my state, we have a program that allows family members to become legal guardians of children whose biological parents are unable to care for them. It's called "Kinship Legal Guardianship." Perhaps your state has something similar.
Of course, it is easier if you hire the attorney to do the necessary paperwork and make the proper court appearances. I know. I know. Money. Many attorneys have payment plans that allow you to pay off their fees in manageable bits. And. . .legal aid is free/sliding scale. (Contact your local law school, too. They often have free family law clinics.)
Me? Personally? I would not contact your Child Protective Services agency now. The kids are safe with you; they are eating, being cared for and loved. There are other ways of going about this than getting the kids into the system.
I think only Child Protective Services would flat out state that your sister has to get and stay clean to get her kids back. But again that is something you should discuss with the lawyer.
I hope this is helpful.
Peace & blessings!
I don't know what state you are in, but contact a lawyer regarding getting temporary custody of her children. If you need suggestions for a lawyer, contact your state bar association or legal aid society. Most attorneys offer free consultations or charge a minimal fee. But this is the only way to learn what your legal options are and the procedure. At least in my state, we have a program that allows family members to become legal guardians of children whose biological parents are unable to care for them. It's called "Kinship Legal Guardianship." Perhaps your state has something similar.
Of course, it is easier if you hire the attorney to do the necessary paperwork and make the proper court appearances. I know. I know. Money. Many attorneys have payment plans that allow you to pay off their fees in manageable bits. And. . .legal aid is free/sliding scale. (Contact your local law school, too. They often have free family law clinics.)
Me? Personally? I would not contact your Child Protective Services agency now. The kids are safe with you; they are eating, being cared for and loved. There are other ways of going about this than getting the kids into the system.
I think only Child Protective Services would flat out state that your sister has to get and stay clean to get her kids back. But again that is something you should discuss with the lawyer.
I hope this is helpful.
Peace & blessings!
I'm sorry that I have no answers for you, but please know that I am praying for your sister's safe return home - and God willing, her full recovery. Even more so, I pray that God and his angels give you the strength to continue to be an angel to her babies. God has a special place for souls like you. Take care and keep praying. May all God's blessings come your way.
Hi, I'm sorry for your worry. But thank goodness you are taking care of the children. I have had my grand daughter since she was 2 or 3. I can't quite remember as you'll know yourself you go through so much drama and worry with the parent that time passes. Anyway...my husband and I went to a lawyer and you can go to one and your first visit is free. You should look into that. To cut a long story short he wanted us to put down a $5,000 retainer. Unbelievable, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So needless to say we didn't do it. I have since then found out that you can go to the family courthouse and there are forms there that you can fill out and go in front of a judge to get custody. You could also get in touch with the DHS and they may help you too. Don't give too much away when asking for info to anyone but the lawyer. Only thing with the lawyers tho is they want big money. My grand daughter is almost 10 now and still with me and is as happy as the day is long thank goodness! But I've still never got custody but my daughter wouldn't take her from me now as she sees she is happy here and has a normal life. Your problem is they have fathers who may take them from you. I wish you luck. Thank God for you!!Let me know how you get on if you pursue this. Good luck!! Mary.
