Hi Everyone, I am new this addiction and to how to get support for myself. My son Tyler is 19 years old he has been snorting heroin for almost a year of course it started with oxys. I feel like the last year of my life has been walking hell with him. I first found out about his addiction the first of the year he asked me for help and didnt want to hang with the kids he was or do drugs anymore but it took me months and the scare of an eviction to get him into a detox facility at the end of March. He stayed in Detox 5 days and left got a ride home from a facility over an hour away. I was furious but prayed he would be ok. Of course he wasnt was buying suboxone illegally and probably heroin with a week, so I told him he had no choice but to go live in California with my brother he needed to get away from here, so he did was there for 3 months was clean, came home looked fabulous like my old son again and within a week started using again. Over the summer he lost 2 jobs has gotten in to 2 car accidents that he left the scene and has just been a walking corpse! i finally did something I got a restraining order on him to protect myself and my 11 year old daughter from his threatening drug addicted lifestyle. After about 11 days staying at friends he begged to home so i let him only if agreed to go to Florida to a facility for treatment. I chose Florida because we are in CT and i figured much more difficult for him to run. Well he did left for a night thought i was going to send him home but i didnt he stayed in a tent with homeless drug addicts and was scared to death finally decided he better get back to the facility lucky for him they let him back. Now is he about ready to go into sober living and all he does is acall me to tell me he wants to go to a sober house here! Why whats the issue I dont understand him. I know he will be given his phone back and this will be a problem he will probably call an old drug dealer who will send him home! I just dont know what to do! Im sorry this is so long like I said Im not a pro and know nothing about drug addiction.
Thank you
Leslie
How long has he been in the rehab? Has he said why he wants to move back to Connecticut? I believe that if he wants the drugs he will get them no matter where he lives. I think talking to his counselors in Florida may help you with this decision.
Hi Leslie
Hell is truly the only word that can be used.
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
Have you tried to read books about addiction and to find support groups for the entourage of addicts such as Naranon/
Also your son is an adult now. He can make his decisions and yes for sure they can find dealers anywhere.
Try not to let him stay at your house.
You will be saving yourself a huge amount of stress and grief.
My mother and I were forced to enable my adult brother out of fear and blackmail.
Every day he is getting more and more arrogant.
So my advice is be very firm with him and push him out of his comfort zone so that he has to change.
Sink or swim.
You have to protect yourself and your family from his addition.
Take care and good luck.
Hell is truly the only word that can be used.
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
Have you tried to read books about addiction and to find support groups for the entourage of addicts such as Naranon/
Also your son is an adult now. He can make his decisions and yes for sure they can find dealers anywhere.
Try not to let him stay at your house.
You will be saving yourself a huge amount of stress and grief.
My mother and I were forced to enable my adult brother out of fear and blackmail.
Every day he is getting more and more arrogant.
So my advice is be very firm with him and push him out of his comfort zone so that he has to change.
Sink or swim.
You have to protect yourself and your family from his addition.
Take care and good luck.
HI Leslie,
The best thing you can do is not help him at all. Please read the" Let me fall all by myself" that you will find on the left side of this page under "most popular topics."
The hardest thing for a mom of an addict is to say no to your child. Until he is ready to accept the help you offer there is NOTHING you can do and you will get no where. Make him responsible for everything he does whether he goes to jail or not.
Please educate yourself about addiction and go to Al-Anon in AA or NA (narcotics anonymous) and continue to come here for help and support from parents who have been in your shoes.
granny
The best thing you can do is not help him at all. Please read the" Let me fall all by myself" that you will find on the left side of this page under "most popular topics."
The hardest thing for a mom of an addict is to say no to your child. Until he is ready to accept the help you offer there is NOTHING you can do and you will get no where. Make him responsible for everything he does whether he goes to jail or not.
Please educate yourself about addiction and go to Al-Anon in AA or NA (narcotics anonymous) and continue to come here for help and support from parents who have been in your shoes.
granny
Leslie, I have lived your life ...my oldest son has been a herion addict since 19 years of age...that I'm aware of...I say that because that's when I literally walked into his room and found the packets and syringes on his bed...Life has been a.nightmare...I to did everything humanly possible to help him..truth is its all in vain if they don't want to help themselves...I to sent my son to a rehab in Florida were they had a half way sober house...nothing has worked ..nothing..he now sits in jail he will be released in January he has received no counseling has.no remorse and when he gets out I'll bet my life the trend will continue...You cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. ..You can lay every tool at their feet if they don't pick it up its useless...I don't believe he is ready to change his actions show it...You are the one that must change....when they speak it's the drug speaking....work on yourself ...
You have to stop helping him, you are enabling him. If he truly WANTS to change and stay clean then he will find a way and do whatever it takes. The best thing I could do when I got out of rehab was change my phone number and delete all my contacts so I wouldn't even have any temptations. If he wants sobriety he will do whatever he can to get it. Addiction turns us into !monsters, makes us do things we would never even dream of. Maybe he hasn't truly hit rock bottom yet because he always has someone to clean up his messes. HE needs to take responsibility. In narcotics anonymous we learn that although we are not responsible for our disease, we ARE responsible for our recovery. If he needs suboxone to stay clean then he should try a program with suboxone maintenance, they usually do regular drug screens and make patients follow through with being involved in an intensive outpatient program and relapse prevention group along with required AA/NA meetings in order to get the prescription. But he can't use suboxone as a crutch, if he doesn't think he can stay clean without it, then he simply won't be able to. He needs to have faith and believe in himself. I wish you both well. Hope this helps. No one said recovery would be easy, just that it would be worth it.
