My Younger Brother...

So, he's really scaring me again. This kid (well, he's 23) ahs been in and out of treatment for 6 years for opiate abuse, cocaine, alcohol, etc. And nothing seems to click. Even when he's not using all of the "addict behavior" is still there. He still can't control his own life. He's been kicked out of sober houses (not for using, but for bringing his girlfriend around or for not paying the rent on time), he's going to school but still hasn't found a job because he's doing some get rich quick scheme online... he just can't control himself. And I fluctuate between being totally scared for him, mad at him, wanting to fix it, and then just wanting my brother back. And I also want to tell him what's been going on with me, but that jsut doesn't seem like it's going to happen, but he's also the only one who really knows what drives this - us - in the context of our growing up and our personalities an the fact that we are siblings. I just feel like I'm helping him all the time.... And there are times where it "seems" like he's doing better but then every thing unravels. I don't know. It's like even after all this time he's still not ready. And he's off meetings right now... but I don't know if they ever really helped. But then I talk to him sometimes and he's so clear - he is so insightful about this disease, about his disease, about what he needs to do and then he just relapses and relapses and relapses. I don't usually feel hopeless, but I kind of do right now. I feel like it is so ingrained in him (and us...) that maybe we can never dig our way out of it. I have never gone to some of the horrible places he has been but the potential is there, and so I think when I get scared for him sometimes I get scared for me.

I just don't know anymore....

Is there anyone else out there who has a loved one who is an addict and then later figured out that they had problems too? Did it bring up a whole different set of issues for you?

And then... I just don't know what to do about him....

My parents are on me like flies to f***ing fix it but I can't fix it and they should know that but I feel so responsible for being the one to keep in touch with him and seeing if he needs anything or wants to talk or will talk about what's going on and it's too much pressure. And f***. If they ever found out about me, I think the world would end right there. They would both like, die.

It's just too much sometimes.

SP
you need to check out some alanon meetings pronto.


http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meet...gs/meeting.html

good luck
stac
prayer......is very powerful..........

and after you pray believe in your heart that your brother will be protected and guided my God.......

*hugs*

thumper
I have to say I'm not a big prayer. I am not sure how to reconcile my own spirituality with god or with organized religion. This has been a big part of my life and I have spent a lot of time figuring it out and I'm still not ther eyet.

I have tried al-anon, but I'm so overhwlemed with the NA meetings and the group therapy and single therapy and an addiction psychiatrist. I am just all over the place. I originally started with al-anon and I really liked it, but now I'm confused about what takes priority NA/AA for myself or al-anon (for myself). I am actually way more comfortable with al-anon at this point than I am with NA/AA - but I'm being pushed by everyone I have told to do NA/AA but I dont know if I'm ready.

Is all of this confusion normal? Do you think I'm just over thinking everything?

I feel liike an insane person.
And if I smoke another cigarette today I think I'm going to pass out.

SP