@Con, I reread what I wrote and I think you are right that it sounded harsh in tone..and you are right, it is strictly my opinion. I have stated multiple times that what I am suggesting is my opinion only and what worked for me only. I also said I am not a doctor.
The advice to the original poster was in response to her daughter struggling at a 6th rehab. I only suggested that she may not be getting the help she needs. Of course, I was basing this on the fact that almost 90% of rehabs in the US are 12 step based treatment with no real mental health treatment ( referenced from NIDA and SAMHSA website) and because there are some addicts who are self medicating serious mental health (or trauma) issues, I thought I would suggest it.
It wasn't meant to be derogatory to AA to say it isn't treatment. It is a fellowship who's primary purpose is to help the still suffering addict/alcoholic and to support sobriety by living the 12 steps to the best of our ability. In AA's own words it is not treatment for severe mental health or trauma issues...that is not it's primary purpose as stated in AA literature. They also do not have opinions on outside issues, and I think mental illness and sexual trauma are outside issues and not the primary purpose. Again, this is my (with my sponsor's imput after forwarding her this entire thread) interpretation of said literature.
I apologize if it sounded flippant or derogatory for that was never my intention. I would never deny the benefits and miracles of a 12 step program, especially because my participation in one (OA) has been instrumental in my recovery from bulimia. That said, I think it is important that we keep everything in it's proper perspective...I was suggesting this in treating severe mental illness and trauma ONLY. Even the AA program itself states that "we aren't doctors" and some people may need the help of such. I don't think one should feel ashamed to seek help elswhere or be made to feel they are doing something worng or somehow "failing" if they need the services of one to help with their illness.
@marykat and Mary..Kudoos to you both! Sound advice! From this moment forward, you will not hear another peep from me on the subject! (unfortunately I saw your posts AFTER I posted the one above! OOOPS!!!
Keep fighting the good fight!!!
Keep fighting the good fight!!!
Point was Lollie...that there is no guarantee... and that AA NA does not say it corrects mental health issues or trauma...it advocates only one thing...sobriety...and says that even those with mental health issues can achieve it....nothing works if we don't work it...and mental health therapy...treatment...meds...treatment for trauma...ptsd etc...does also not guarantee one remain clean...a million rehabs and detox and programs wont work unless we want it to....so let's be easy on each other...we're all in the same boat...different paddles...but all rowing the same river...
Peace
Con
Peace
Con
Wow. . .
I agree 100% with Con & Mary. I just wanted to add these thoughts. . .
We are all on here . . answering each other's posts . . . providing love . . .opening our own hearts by writing our own posts. . .crying together. . .encouraging each other. . .borrowing strength or courage from each other. . .sending hugs. . .praying for each other. . .providing a safe place to share. . .because we all have a common bond. A common foe. It's called addiction.
The truth of the matter is . . .If there was one right way to battle addiction, none of us would be on this board. So. . . Can we agree to disagree??
Love you guys!!!
Lynn
xoxo
I agree 100% with Con & Mary. I just wanted to add these thoughts. . .
We are all on here . . answering each other's posts . . . providing love . . .opening our own hearts by writing our own posts. . .crying together. . .encouraging each other. . .borrowing strength or courage from each other. . .sending hugs. . .praying for each other. . .providing a safe place to share. . .because we all have a common bond. A common foe. It's called addiction.
The truth of the matter is . . .If there was one right way to battle addiction, none of us would be on this board. So. . . Can we agree to disagree??
Love you guys!!!
Lynn
xoxo
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily...?y=2017&m=1&d=2
A lot of folks are giving opinions on things they know little about.....
Read the black !
A lot of folks are giving opinions on things they know little about.....
Read the black !
IThank you for your contribution. I only wish you would explain to us instead of just saying "We don't get it and no nothing about it." Could YOU perhaps be misunderstanding this thread? After all. it wasn't even about AA, it was about severe mental health and sexual trauma. I agree rereading my post that it could be taken in a way it wasn't meant to be taken. Unfrotunately we are communicating online, where inflection, tone etc. are not conveyed.
However, that said, thank you for your link. The one thing I love about the 12 step program is I can read something 100 times and learn something new every single time I read it!
@Con.I agree their are no guarentees! I wasn't suggesting their was...just giving someone a "different paddle" to try!.I love the "different paddles analogy" and whole heartedly agree. I guess I just have to ignore those that do not agree on the "different paddles." Lolleedee is OFFICIALLY out of this thread!
However, that said, thank you for your link. The one thing I love about the 12 step program is I can read something 100 times and learn something new every single time I read it!
@Con.I agree their are no guarentees! I wasn't suggesting their was...just giving someone a "different paddle" to try!.I love the "different paddles analogy" and whole heartedly agree. I guess I just have to ignore those that do not agree on the "different paddles." Lolleedee is OFFICIALLY out of this thread!
There is no panacea that resolves the destruction of addiction. We all agree that nothing changes if nothing changes and change in terms of an addict, stopping the abuse of drugs including alcohol happens when the person abusing wants to stop.
Human connection helps all of us and it appears to me that addiction interferes with said connection. With me it started with my mother and father both struggling with addiction. Mom was a drug addict and dad was an alcoholic, as a result I was neglected and did not have a connection with my parents that made me feel whole. I loved them and then I didn't. It's difficult to love narcissists because in that relationship you don't matter.
As an adult and a mother of an addicted son I can't walk away and I will not stop loving him but I am living that disconnect with him and trying to change that. I have stopped trying to help him and instead I have expressed how I feel, been honest with him and now I hope eventually he seeks sobriety knowing how much his family loves him. Love does not solve problems but it supports change and offers that human connection that we all need to thrive. In my sometimes hopeless life I have been able to maintain hope and that has helped me connect with others who now show me the love I need.
The value of this site is that it provides human connection and hope. Not one of us has all the answers or even the important ones we need but we are open to change and we want hope for our kids and ourselves. I for one appreciate all of you. You provide hope. I still have hope for your daughter and my son, I don't want to change that.
Human connection helps all of us and it appears to me that addiction interferes with said connection. With me it started with my mother and father both struggling with addiction. Mom was a drug addict and dad was an alcoholic, as a result I was neglected and did not have a connection with my parents that made me feel whole. I loved them and then I didn't. It's difficult to love narcissists because in that relationship you don't matter.
As an adult and a mother of an addicted son I can't walk away and I will not stop loving him but I am living that disconnect with him and trying to change that. I have stopped trying to help him and instead I have expressed how I feel, been honest with him and now I hope eventually he seeks sobriety knowing how much his family loves him. Love does not solve problems but it supports change and offers that human connection that we all need to thrive. In my sometimes hopeless life I have been able to maintain hope and that has helped me connect with others who now show me the love I need.
The value of this site is that it provides human connection and hope. Not one of us has all the answers or even the important ones we need but we are open to change and we want hope for our kids and ourselves. I for one appreciate all of you. You provide hope. I still have hope for your daughter and my son, I don't want to change that.
Yes PB...I get it....there's more to everything if you take the time and stay with it to find it...we know that. ...but some things don't translate as well as they should when they need to...now quit being a cranky old dude and play nice too....
Kimmy, Just wanted to tell you, I really enjoy reading your posts. Mary
