hi all,
i'm just looking for a little bit of encouragement i think.
my 19 year old left rehab early... he stayed about 24 days. since he has been home, he has attended an na meeting daily. tonight he went to an aa meeting. he tells me that he thinks the meetings are detrimental to his recovery. he says that they talk about their highs before recovery "fondly", and they talk about the good times on highs from drugs that he has never used. his doc was pills, mj, and alcohol. he says he doesn't llike to listens to people talk about heroin, and meth, and crack...especially when they say how good the high was. and, he doesn't like to hear the guy that says he used to choke his ex wife when he was high.
is this just more manipulative behavior? i am insisting that he do 90 in 90 in order to live at home. we are also arguing over whether or not the 24 meetings he did in rehab count in the 90... i say no, and he insists yes.
any advise would be appreciated.
thanks in advance.
I think this is a question to be asked on all the boards (the family, the pills board and perhaps the cocaine and the heroine boards). I always wondered what was better AA or NA, especially since someone mentioned on the family board that there were some "predators" at the NA meetings.
I talked to my son. He prefers NA because people are talking about the risks of hard drugs. At the NA meetings he went to, most of the participants had been on heroine and crack and they all described what would they do in order to get their fix. It is horrifying. At the AA meetings (he is gone only to one group) most of the people are a lot older and they all tell the same story of abusing alcohol, driving under the influence and becoming abusive with their spouse or mate. He does not relate to this at all. He goes to the AA meetings on Sundays because it is close to home and it is only an hour long. I am not sure it does any good and I dont know what to enforce.
I have read that twelve steps dont work as well for teenagers. It is alien to them. There are not many meetings for teens. When we were at the CF, they told us that teens should attend meetings for adults and for youngsters. It is not easy to find those.
As far as counting the time at rehab, I probably would give S. some slack. If he seriously attend meetings for 2 months, be proud of him.
I talked to my son. He prefers NA because people are talking about the risks of hard drugs. At the NA meetings he went to, most of the participants had been on heroine and crack and they all described what would they do in order to get their fix. It is horrifying. At the AA meetings (he is gone only to one group) most of the people are a lot older and they all tell the same story of abusing alcohol, driving under the influence and becoming abusive with their spouse or mate. He does not relate to this at all. He goes to the AA meetings on Sundays because it is close to home and it is only an hour long. I am not sure it does any good and I dont know what to enforce.
I have read that twelve steps dont work as well for teenagers. It is alien to them. There are not many meetings for teens. When we were at the CF, they told us that teens should attend meetings for adults and for youngsters. It is not easy to find those.
As far as counting the time at rehab, I probably would give S. some slack. If he seriously attend meetings for 2 months, be proud of him.
conomore
first off im not suggesting you let him stop going to the meetings. but maybe give some thought to trying a drug therapist. these can usually be found thru your local county mental health center. they usually do one on one and or group therapy.when i was coming off meth (used it for 6 mo) i went to a drug therapist for a few months. i found it helpful.totally different setting than na or aa. they teach you about the drugs. the effects on your physical health as well as mental health. they work with you on your issues. such as what made you use in the first place. what triggered you to cont to use. self esteem issues. peer pressure. i really liked the one on one attention to just me and my problems. i can agree with S. about hearing all the grandious about how great their highs were. that would really make me crave!! again i will suggest that you introduce him to this board. it really helps to talk with others going thru the same things as you are. one thing to remember is that a large percent of people going to aa and na are there by court order. they dont really want to be there and they dont really want to be clean.many of them are still using and just finding ways to beat the drug test.and are only going to the meetings to get their card signed. also if you are curious about what goes on at the meetings and what they are like, attend a few. S. may be uncomfortable with you going when he goes, but you could always go to one at a different time date, or place. really do wish you and S. the best. sounds like he is a wonderful person, that just happens to have a drug problem.
first off im not suggesting you let him stop going to the meetings. but maybe give some thought to trying a drug therapist. these can usually be found thru your local county mental health center. they usually do one on one and or group therapy.when i was coming off meth (used it for 6 mo) i went to a drug therapist for a few months. i found it helpful.totally different setting than na or aa. they teach you about the drugs. the effects on your physical health as well as mental health. they work with you on your issues. such as what made you use in the first place. what triggered you to cont to use. self esteem issues. peer pressure. i really liked the one on one attention to just me and my problems. i can agree with S. about hearing all the grandious about how great their highs were. that would really make me crave!! again i will suggest that you introduce him to this board. it really helps to talk with others going thru the same things as you are. one thing to remember is that a large percent of people going to aa and na are there by court order. they dont really want to be there and they dont really want to be clean.many of them are still using and just finding ways to beat the drug test.and are only going to the meetings to get their card signed. also if you are curious about what goes on at the meetings and what they are like, attend a few. S. may be uncomfortable with you going when he goes, but you could always go to one at a different time date, or place. really do wish you and S. the best. sounds like he is a wonderful person, that just happens to have a drug problem.
thanks cajun lady,
steven actually asked me to go into a meeting with him. i didn't because i really didn't feel well at the time. but i will go with him. he starts work tomorrow. he doesn't actually fight going to the meetings, but he is absolutely miserable in the car!!
patricia
steven actually asked me to go into a meeting with him. i didn't because i really didn't feel well at the time. but i will go with him. he starts work tomorrow. he doesn't actually fight going to the meetings, but he is absolutely miserable in the car!!
patricia
I have been going to AA and NA for the past 3 months. Some of the people sh*t me but on the whole i love it and would not be clean without it (im only speaking for myself). It may not work for everyone. Some meetings are a little different from others and i take what might work for me and i leave the rest.
I have made some wonderful friends my age (29) and some older and younger. some people i can call when im hanging out whatever time it is and i can take there advice because they have been there also.
I also attend a drug and alcohol group where two councellers facilitate the meeting. This is great as i can get the advise of professionals which i may not always get at AA and NA.
Some things which work for some may not work for others. Your son cannot be made to stay straight and the meetings may not work for him if he doesn't want to be there.
I think going to a meeting or more with your son may help you to understand his position and may help you to also understand his addiction a little better.
Whatever works for him to stay straight and not go insane is great. whatever that may be.
Wish you and your son well.
I have made some wonderful friends my age (29) and some older and younger. some people i can call when im hanging out whatever time it is and i can take there advice because they have been there also.
I also attend a drug and alcohol group where two councellers facilitate the meeting. This is great as i can get the advise of professionals which i may not always get at AA and NA.
Some things which work for some may not work for others. Your son cannot be made to stay straight and the meetings may not work for him if he doesn't want to be there.
I think going to a meeting or more with your son may help you to understand his position and may help you to also understand his addiction a little better.
Whatever works for him to stay straight and not go insane is great. whatever that may be.
Wish you and your son well.
