Hey everybody! I hope everyone is doing good, or getting by at least. God, I miss you all!
This week has been so crappy for me. I have had some upsetting things happen, and yes, on 2 different occasions I wished I could take a pill. Those feelings passed. I told myself ....A. it would only makes things worse, and B. I am on Sub., and couldn't take one if I had it. But for a short time I really just wanted to get high and escape reality.
I had a problem, and although it may seem trivial or silly, it's a HUGE deal in my life. I am going to present a scenario below. If some of you could read it and give me your very valued opinions, it would be more help than you know.
As you may guess from what you read below, my serenity has been tested. I found myself in some rough spots this week, and thank God and AA, for the first time in years, I handled them without losing my temper or lashing out at the whole world. I have actually thought things through and acted in a mature, reasonable manner, which for me is new territory. LOL I have let go of a lot of resentment that I would normally hang on to. But it's still nagging at me........
Here goes...........
Krysti and Jennifer are old friends and run into each other. They are chatting. Krysti mentions something about her son's friend, Chase.
Jennifer, who is an office employee at the local elementary school, raises her eyebrows and says, "Oh, you know Chase?".
Krysti immediately notices the look on Jennifer face and says, "Yes, why that look? Does he cause trouble in school? Does he have conduct issues?"
Jennifer replies, "Yes. His mother, Jean is at the school constantly jumping on the teachers. She believes her son does no wrong and gives them a hard time everytime he gets in trouble. The teachers at our school are afraid of her."
A few days later, through a set of unfortunate circumstances, Jean and Krysti, who are close friends, have reason to rehash the above conversation. Jean is hurt that Krysti gossiped about her son. Krysti says she didn't gossip, she only asked about his behavior due to the look Jennifer had when the kids name came up. Krysti says she is justified in having asked about Chance's conduct, and it was not gossip.
Do you think Krysti was a loyal friend to Jean and Chance? Was it OK to ask Jennifer about Chance's behavior in school? Or was it wrong? Does Jean have grounds to be hurt or is she being too sensitive.
This may sound so silly, but your unbiased answers could help me know how to handle the mess I find myself in. Thanks ever so much.
Hi Carol,
She is being WAY to sensitive in my opinion. If someone gave a look that should raise concern, then I would expect my friend to find out why.
Regards,
Tom
She is being WAY to sensitive in my opinion. If someone gave a look that should raise concern, then I would expect my friend to find out why.
Regards,
Tom
I would hope that a friend would tell me what she knows about my child, no matter how she found out. That's a good friend.
You're recovery sure looks good on you Carol.. Way to slay the dragon.
Cowgirl
You're recovery sure looks good on you Carol.. Way to slay the dragon.
Cowgirl
I agree, I would hope that someone would tell me about any school problems, evidently the mother is a little bit too possessive and overbearing.
My youngest seems to think that some of the teachers hate him....but I know that he sometimes is a bit too defiant and it has been noted by his teachers. However, I will go to bat for him, if something is totally unfair. Last year there was a kid that always picked on him and got him in trouble...I went to the principal and asked that the other kid, or my son, be moved away from one another...(this kid had also picked on him at bible school)...sometimes you HAVE to do something, but when I talked to her, I told her that I knew that my son was no Angel...lol
oh, and Carol....everyone is right....recovery is looking good on you honey!!!
My youngest seems to think that some of the teachers hate him....but I know that he sometimes is a bit too defiant and it has been noted by his teachers. However, I will go to bat for him, if something is totally unfair. Last year there was a kid that always picked on him and got him in trouble...I went to the principal and asked that the other kid, or my son, be moved away from one another...(this kid had also picked on him at bible school)...sometimes you HAVE to do something, but when I talked to her, I told her that I knew that my son was no Angel...lol
oh, and Carol....everyone is right....recovery is looking good on you honey!!!
Carol
I had to read it a few times to get it. I'm sure Tom, CG, and Janet had to also but here's my take. I would want to know if there was a problem with my child and it wouldn't matter how I found out. I may be a little upset because I heard it from someone else but I would be upset at myself for not knowing about it.
Hope you're doing well,,,and yes, recovery looks great on you7.
Love ya
Frank
Hi Carol, personally I think Jennifer was in the wrong. She had no right to discuss anything about Chase or his mother to anyone. That was gossip and truly unproffesional.
And if this helps your story any...
I could easily be that mother who goes to the school and defends my children. I doubt teachers are scared of me, but they're wary. I do not back down to ridiculous things. I figure if my kids can't count on me to defend them in this world, who can they count on?
I've got four kids and two of them are grown. I've seen every teacher imaginable as I imagine you have too. Some are wonderful and unforgetable. Some are monsters who should never have considered teaching as a career.
Wtg on handling those triggers!!!! You're shining.
Love, Kat
And if this helps your story any...
I could easily be that mother who goes to the school and defends my children. I doubt teachers are scared of me, but they're wary. I do not back down to ridiculous things. I figure if my kids can't count on me to defend them in this world, who can they count on?
I've got four kids and two of them are grown. I've seen every teacher imaginable as I imagine you have too. Some are wonderful and unforgetable. Some are monsters who should never have considered teaching as a career.
Wtg on handling those triggers!!!! You're shining.
Love, Kat
Krysti didn't find out anything from Jennifer that the mother, Jean, didn't know. Actually, the rub here is that Jennifer lied about Jean and Chance. Jean had never been to the school defending her son, he had never been in trouble.
In the end, Jennifer lost her job over going out in public and making deceptive remarks about a student. The BOE ethics code states that employees at public schools can not discuss what goes on in the school once they leave work. Not only did she do that, she told a totally untrue account of the little boy Chance, and his mother, Jean.
Thank you Tom, CG and Janet for reading this and replying, and for your kind words. This is like a rubics cube to me, and must be to you. LOL
Oh, what a tangled web we weave............
I hope you are all well and happy.
Frank and Kat, Hey and welcome to my soap opera. Thanks for your input!!!
I know it's confusing.
Kat, I have been to the school once for my son. It was 4 years ago and although I didn't scare anybody either, it was a visit they still haven't forgotten up there. LOL Although I was in the grips of my addiction at the time, since they had put my 5 year old son in the corner for 6 hours......... everything I said to them was deserved.
In the story above, I am Krysti, not Jean.
Hi Carol,
It looks to me like Jennifer did the gossiping, after the look on her face was questioned, so, Kristy didn't really say anything other than she knew Chase. I don't see it that Kristy did anything Jean should be upset about.
I think I got that right?
Also, never say you sound silly, if it bothers you then it's not silly. Most things that are simple or not a big deal for most folks are mind boggling alot of times for us. And when we keep things to ourself that we feel may be silly or unimportant, eventually that kind of stuff could lead to a drink or drug. So, good for you for asking for advice, thats progress in action. And great job on handling things responsibly, great job.
Take care...........Bob
It looks to me like Jennifer did the gossiping, after the look on her face was questioned, so, Kristy didn't really say anything other than she knew Chase. I don't see it that Kristy did anything Jean should be upset about.
I think I got that right?
Also, never say you sound silly, if it bothers you then it's not silly. Most things that are simple or not a big deal for most folks are mind boggling alot of times for us. And when we keep things to ourself that we feel may be silly or unimportant, eventually that kind of stuff could lead to a drink or drug. So, good for you for asking for advice, thats progress in action. And great job on handling things responsibly, great job.
Take care...........Bob
Shoot! I just knew you were Jean! lmao
I'm so glad I was certain it was Jennifer in the wrong and not Krysty!
And I remember now that story about Kindergarten and that was horrible.
I honestly don't think you were in the wrong.
Love, Kat
I'm so glad I was certain it was Jennifer in the wrong and not Krysty!
And I remember now that story about Kindergarten and that was horrible.
I honestly don't think you were in the wrong.
Love, Kat
Oh sh-t!! lol,
I just went back and read the rest of the replies to you! lol I will from now on call you Kristy!!!!!!!!!!! *wink* that was sneaky and unfair!! But I still love ya'! lol
Take care.............Bob
I just went back and read the rest of the replies to you! lol I will from now on call you Kristy!!!!!!!!!!! *wink* that was sneaky and unfair!! But I still love ya'! lol
Take care.............Bob
...hmm, Carol, I thought you were Chase..lol
Hey, whats up Bob?
Regards.
Tom
Hey, whats up Bob?
Regards.
Tom
Hey Tom,
Whats up? I'm good, tired though. I started the day today at about 6am, took the kids to school, went to work until 2pm then picked up my oldest daughter, then went and got my home group meeting set up, then picked up my youngest daughter, then picked up my wife then my buddy and went to a meeting, then we all came back here for coffee, then I took my buddy home, then stopped at the store real quick, just sat down a few minutes ago, still have my work clothes on lol, I look like I was in a fight with a paint can! lol But, I never had it so good, it was a great meeting and I'm tired now, but it's a good kind of tired.
Well that was my day in a nut shell....Bet your glad you asked! lol How are you doin'?
Take care............Bob
Whats up? I'm good, tired though. I started the day today at about 6am, took the kids to school, went to work until 2pm then picked up my oldest daughter, then went and got my home group meeting set up, then picked up my youngest daughter, then picked up my wife then my buddy and went to a meeting, then we all came back here for coffee, then I took my buddy home, then stopped at the store real quick, just sat down a few minutes ago, still have my work clothes on lol, I look like I was in a fight with a paint can! lol But, I never had it so good, it was a great meeting and I'm tired now, but it's a good kind of tired.
Well that was my day in a nut shell....Bet your glad you asked! lol How are you doin'?
Take care............Bob
LOL..I was trying to guess which one you were.....I guessed Krysti but didn't want to stick my foot in my mouth (I'm really good at that).
I hope whatever the issue is that you're able to work it out without giving it too much energy. Some things in life just aren't worth it.
Have a good night.
cowgirl
I hope whatever the issue is that you're able to work it out without giving it too much energy. Some things in life just aren't worth it.
Have a good night.
cowgirl
Carol:
I think you are beginning to "intuitively know how to handle situations that use to baffle you." The Promises are coming true for you.
Rachel
I think you are beginning to "intuitively know how to handle situations that use to baffle you." The Promises are coming true for you.
Rachel
I love this game,, lol I lost it at Chase vs Chance..I like most re read the thing like 67 times, all I was trying to do is figure out which one was you. Process of elimination, knew you were not Jennifer or one of the C's, then I just rubbed my chin awaiting the answer..
I agree Jean was being too sensitive. And Jennifer should have known better to not to discuss anything like that true or not.
Ok is it Chase or Chance? lol
Take Care.. Carol.
S.
I agree Jean was being too sensitive. And Jennifer should have known better to not to discuss anything like that true or not.
Ok is it Chase or Chance? lol
Take Care.. Carol.
S.
You people crack me up and I love you all for being not only halarious, but dependable. I knew I could rely on you to help me get a better picture of this dilemma. Thanks again.
I was lying in bed last night and realized I had used two different names for the little boy...Chase/Chance. LOL Oops.
I always find that with the start of a new day things that looked bleak and hopeless yesterday are not quite so bad. I have a lot of foot work to do today, and then hopefully this mess will be behind me for good.
Thanks for all the time you took to help me with this. It means alot to me to know I have friends like all of you to lean on when I need help.
Have a wonderful day today, and be good to yourselves everybody.
