Hi Everyone,
I have been reading these posts for a couple of months and have decided to ask anyone out there for advice. Like so many familira stories out there here is mine. I have been living with my bf for a few years. We've been together for 5. A month ago I had suspicions that he was back on Heoin. A month ago I found out he had been stealing from me and knew at that point that he had to leave. I told him I needed a month to be alone and figure things out. I called his sister, who is amazing, and finally broke the silence or shall I say secret. He is living with her, and is in good hands. She is very healthy and caring. He was not mad and appeared releived that I had told her. He had attended a few NA meetings though recently in the last few weeks decided to go to mtgs. from a treatment program that offers mtgs. in the evening. He did this on his own and found the place by himself. He was using methadone for a short while though now is not using that either. He looks better, is very emotional and from what he says to his siter and I is clean. I am happy for him and hopes he continues to stay clean. this appears to be the final straw to our relationship. He's been out of the apt. for a month and I knew I had to do what I did as I cannot be there for him to fall back on in this situation. I want to support him and meanwhile am trying to figure out should I take him back and if I do under what conditions? I need to make theses decisions for myself though also want feedback from anyone out there. He has a full time job(Never misses a day), is not agressive or malicious with me. I know that Heroin becomes a priority over everyone else. that you stoop to the deepest levels to get and protect the drug. His family now knows and are very supportive. Any thoughts?
Hello there dora
What you have done really is he best thing that you could ever have done my EX done the exact same thing as you have done and even though we are now separated we still love each other very much and we also have 2 kids
But i have also came to live with my sister who is very understanding it has taken me a few to many attemts to get clean but now I know I will never go back to that s***
What you have done though is really the best thing that you could have done though as it will give you alot of peace of mind knowing that he is safe and well
and by doing this you can now start to give hima reason to come off the gear you should tell him that you want to start to see changes on his behalf before you let him back in the house and by this i mean.
1) he should be seeking help for his addiction like being put on a program either subutex or methadone for me it would be subutex as it has a blocker in it
2) seek counciling
3) you want to see a physical change in him and you will see one if he is off it
Thats just three things but you will get my drift ,, and if he really loves you and he does want to come off the gear he will do these things for you
Keep In Touch,,,, Gary
What you have done really is he best thing that you could ever have done my EX done the exact same thing as you have done and even though we are now separated we still love each other very much and we also have 2 kids
But i have also came to live with my sister who is very understanding it has taken me a few to many attemts to get clean but now I know I will never go back to that s***
What you have done though is really the best thing that you could have done though as it will give you alot of peace of mind knowing that he is safe and well
and by doing this you can now start to give hima reason to come off the gear you should tell him that you want to start to see changes on his behalf before you let him back in the house and by this i mean.
1) he should be seeking help for his addiction like being put on a program either subutex or methadone for me it would be subutex as it has a blocker in it
2) seek counciling
3) you want to see a physical change in him and you will see one if he is off it
Thats just three things but you will get my drift ,, and if he really loves you and he does want to come off the gear he will do these things for you
Keep In Touch,,,, Gary
Dear Gary,
Dear Gary,
Thanks for your input. Keep up on your recovery, that means everything to your family(especially your kids!). He has been looking better though I am not rushing this process. It will take time. Once gain I appreciate your support as you are speaking from experience. Thank god for loving family memebers! All the Best,
Dora
Thanks for your input. Keep up on your recovery, that means everything to your family(especially your kids!). He has been looking better though I am not rushing this process. It will take time. Once gain I appreciate your support as you are speaking from experience. Thank god for loving family memebers! All the Best,
Dora
Dora
I didn't mean for you to rush into it I was just trying to give you a few ideas,, I know that things are different for everyone, but I think you know what I was getting at,, you must really love your man and you are doing the right thing in trying to help hi,m as he is going to need you all way through his recovery however long it take just having someone there to help is really invalueble
So I will also thank you aswell as it means alot to me to know that there are people willing to make sacrafices to help those in need
All the best darling,, GARY
I didn't mean for you to rush into it I was just trying to give you a few ideas,, I know that things are different for everyone, but I think you know what I was getting at,, you must really love your man and you are doing the right thing in trying to help hi,m as he is going to need you all way through his recovery however long it take just having someone there to help is really invalueble
So I will also thank you aswell as it means alot to me to know that there are people willing to make sacrafices to help those in need
All the best darling,, GARY
Gary,
Your ideas are honest and helpful. They give me further support to what I beleive in and care about. I am grateful that there is this message board as it seems to be helping a lot of people. Keep it up, those that love you will be encouraging you throughout this!
Dora
Your ideas are honest and helpful. They give me further support to what I beleive in and care about. I am grateful that there is this message board as it seems to be helping a lot of people. Keep it up, those that love you will be encouraging you throughout this!
Dora