Need Encouragement

Hi Everyone,

On Feb. 3rd I'll be off pain pills 6 months.. Thanks to Suboxone.. Something I thought I never could do.

However today I'm having a really bad day and I have some extra cash so I can't get the thoughts out of my mind that I just want to buy 20 percs to catch a buzz.

I'm sure I wouldn't even get a buzz being on the sub. But still I'm thinking oh I'll stop sub for a day or so and than go back on it when I'm done with my percocets.

I play out the whole thing in my mind from the call to the dealer to going to the bank and getting the money out and than going to meet him and taking one and thatn the guilt of the money and caving after so long.

Someone give me some encouragment please :)
Put all your old behavior in that tape you are playing. Guilt is really not the point, you can deal with the guilt...but, what if tomorrow you decide just one more day, and then the next and before you know you are right back where you were when you started....and what were those circumstances like????

If you are dancing with a relapse, maybe you should do something different in your program. Do you have a therapist? If so, call them now.

Do you go to meetings? If so, go to one.

If you don't go to meetings, find one, and do it.

There is more at stake here than a guilty conscious and some bucks. Look at the big picture BeeBah....tell me about that big picture. Tell me about where you were at your worst.

I'll listen.

B-
I don't know much, but I do know that you won't be able to get high. I have been taking sub to stay out of wd. On three occassions, I stopped for a day or two so I could eat some vicodin pills. I took massive amounts of Norco 10 mg pills and only felt slightly sick.....not high at all. The following day would leave me in a massive state of depression. Like I wrote, I don't know much, but I know you will regret it.

Jer
Beebah,
There comes a time when the drugs stop working and turn on you...Like what Jer just wrote.

From what I've read, using while on Sub won't get you high and in fact, could be life threatening by chasing that high, take too many....

Are you ready to die, Beebah? Think about it...and those thoughts and romancing the pills, that's your disease controlling you....maybe it's time for a meeting?

One thing I do know, if you want to get high, you'll try...if you want recovery, you'll do whatever it takes to stay clean & sober....

Stacey
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!


I did this exact same thing a year ago, after being on sub for about 2 months. I entered a BRAND NEW LEVEL OF PERSONAL HELL AND DEPRESSION. It damn near killed me and my relationship with my wife.

Please do not do this. Play the tape, go to a meeting, call a sponsor, lock yourself in a cage, go to the north pole, ANYTHING other than this.

And you won't get high. But you'll keep taking more and more and more to try to get there. That's how countless heroin users die. Relapse on methadone and try to chase a buzz with more dope.

please.

rustbelt
B:

PLEASE DO NOT DO IT! I don't know you and I am begging you NOT to do it!!! Just hold on and be strong! Life is too precious! We will have moments like these that will come and go, however, if we choose to listen to that little devil on our shoulders, we may not have anytime for anything, anymore! Please do not do it.
posted by 24gordon

QUOTE

One thing I do know, if you want to get high, you'll try...if you want recovery, you'll do whatever it takes to stay clean & sober....


The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me....pick your type of greater power phenomenon.....
Play the tape all of the way through. You go off of the sub, take the percs, probably get sick, not high, and then have to be in withdrawals again to take the sub. Then what? You're right back where you've started, you've lost your clean time and self respect. Is it worth it?
I didn't do it......

I'm still having strong anxiety.. But I'm okay.
Hey B,

The times that I was not strong enough and I DID do it made me feel incredibly more anxious and depressed. It really sent me into a bad place. I am glad you didn't do it. If it means anything, I am right there with you.......terrible anxiety today.
Take care of yourself (believe me....I know that is hard to do).

Peace,
Jer
Hey Beebah. It's good to see ya! I'm coming up on my 6 months too. I believe I was just about 2 weeks behind starting sub. I have cravings and thoughts too. When I get like that, I get out the big book and connect with others just like you did on here. That's the best way to combat those cravings as I'm sure you know. Of course F2F is crucial....it is for me anyway.

So, I'm glad you are doing good and still hanging in there.