Need Help

I am a concerned that my husband my be dependent on prescription drugs. Different circumstances have occured over the past few years but I never thought about that he may be dependent until about 2 years ago. I voiced it to his parents and his mother agreed that she suspected it also. To try to make this as short as possible the reason I think he is dependent is he has had pancrititis a number of times and he would live off demerol for a week or more at a time each occurance. Since then he would go to his mothers house and borrow pain med. for a "headache". He would even go to their house and take bottles of pain med. if it was there. The reason I know this is I found a bottle in his glove compartment and asked his mother if she gave them to him and she didn't. He would get headaches alot and have to go to the er to get pain shot. If pain pills were not available he would take things like benydryl, nyquil, tylenol pm, anything with what I call the sleepy, relaxed feeling. I just recently had the flu and was very sick the Dr. gave me some tylox for severe headache. He gave me 45 pills which I thought was alot. I took one the first day. The whole time in my mind thinking that as soon as he saw I had them he would take some. He usually will say he has a migraine(he gets these quite often and the Dr. prescribed Zomig). Well needless to say the next morning I counted them and there were 10 pills missing. Well I did not say anything and let it slide. I was sick the rest of that week and during that time I only took 4 pills that week leaving 31 pills. I put them in the cabinet behind everything. well the next week he called me from home and said he was sick and needed one of the pain pills well I told him where they were, two days went by and I looked in the cabinet and could not find them I asked him about them and he said that he dropped the whole bottle in the sink and had to throw them away needless to say the trash had been taken out. Any way I have confronted him and asked him if he has a dependency and he always says no but I don't believe him. He is real moody. One day he may be ill you can't even look at him without him biting your head off and others he is just bubbly and happy. I didn't mean for this to be so long it just thought so background may help. Am I just paranoid or should I be concerned?


KitKat.....Hey and welcome to the board!

I am sorry to say it, but yes, you should be concerned. You have caught him in more than one lie, he has stolen pills from you and his mother, he takes much more than a recommended dosage. These are just a few of the many signs that he is abusing them. There is a very good chance he is getting them from other places you know nothing about, also.

So what do you do? Talk to him about your concerns. Let him know you know. But do not expect him to stop until he is ready to do so. You can not expect him to stop just because you know and want him to. Addiction is a disease, and it takes a lot of work to quit. And that is after you admit it and decide you want to quit. Only your husband can bring himself to that point.

We have another board which is for Family/friends of addicts. You are welcome here, but check that site out also as it may prove to be very helpful. Also, Alanon is very helpful if you find you truly are married to an addict. Good luck! I pray this turns out well for both of you. : )

Kitkat

Yes. You should be concerned. I can relate to almost everything you said. I was addicted to them for 8 years and during that time I did the same. I took them from my wife. I would ask my sister if she had any cause my back hurt. Then I started buying them on the street cause I couldn't get enough from my dr. or from my faimly. I don't know how long this has been going on but the longer is goes the harder it is for him to quit. You will get a lot of support here and maybe some suggestions as to what you should do.


Frank