Please help me.. I have been in a relationship for over a year now and a few months ago I found out he has been meeting women on the internet and chatting with them via web cam. I have seen some of the women he chats with and some of the profiles cannot be viewed because they are to pornographic. I have confronted him many times and he assured me that they were just friends although he hid them from me whenever I entered the room. I found out however the conversations were not so innocent. I packed my bags to leave and he begged me to stay saying he did not realize I felt so strongly over this. he deleated the names and said they were not important. Well I just recently found out that he has added more women to his yahoo account and still they are pornographic. I asked him if he was meeting more women on the net and he lyed and said no then I told him what I found--of course he was mad that I snooped . I understand that he is mad but why is it such a big secret it seems to me that this is an addiction. I no longer want to have sex with him because I now feel ugly and insecure which I understand is my problem but I feel its a result of his behaviour can someone hel pme please before all of my esteem is lost.
Hello there
You might find this a very unsympathetic view, but in my experience i have found it is very difficult to change a person, if not impossible.
You dont sound like you are particularly old and i would suggest you write it down to experience and move on. Why waste time when you could just break your own heart for a while and get over it, i promise you will.
good luck.
You might find this a very unsympathetic view, but in my experience i have found it is very difficult to change a person, if not impossible.
You dont sound like you are particularly old and i would suggest you write it down to experience and move on. Why waste time when you could just break your own heart for a while and get over it, i promise you will.
good luck.
I have been where you are and sought help for myself. I have been told numerous times that if he does not get help, there is no hope. You can waste a life waiting for him to change or change yourself. Good luck finding help with a good sex addiction counselor. You deserve better. Love yourself enough to leave and take care of you
I am going through the same sort of thing. Our relationship as I see it is over. We met on the chatlines. Both agreed that we would not use them any more, we know what they are about. We have been living together for almost 4 years....I find that he has been downloading them by day and chatting to numerous women, in fact, for the 4 years he never really gave it up. I also recently found telephone bills where he got their phone numbers and calls them to chat. Some for hours. Of course, he says they mean nothing and they are just friends. But everything is hidden. He also bought calling cards to pay for the calls he makes to the states to chat with women. He has secret email where he send them emails also. He printed a picture of one in particular, hid it on the bottom of his gym bag and when I found it...it also meant nothing. I have told him, it is either the women on chatlines or me.
He says he will continue to chat but will not call anyone. We both know that he will fall right back into it again. What a hobby to have....they are so many constructive things he could be doing....chatting to women is not one of those. He will not change I feel certain. He is right now sleeping and refusing to leave. I have asked him to. I do not want the rest of my life spent checking phone bills, etc. We are separated for a few weeks at the time periodically through his work and I will always be wondering who or what he is with.
He says these women mean nothing and the phone calling means nothing and he shakes his head and says he doesn't know why he calls them, but he sure knows he will not give up chatting to them.
I always give in and get over things but somehow I can't move beyond this. We have been fighting about it for 9 months straight now. We broke up last year when I asked him to leave....in less than 2 months he had a woman living with him who he met on the net. We got back togeher in June. She called to tell me that they were still seeing eachother till end of August. It hurt a lot that he was lieing to me and sneaking out to see her...now when I say the net is no good for that reason he says I am making too much of it. I find the phone bills with all the calls and he says I am making too much of it......I honestly don't think I am.
Anyone with any advise for me?
He says he will continue to chat but will not call anyone. We both know that he will fall right back into it again. What a hobby to have....they are so many constructive things he could be doing....chatting to women is not one of those. He will not change I feel certain. He is right now sleeping and refusing to leave. I have asked him to. I do not want the rest of my life spent checking phone bills, etc. We are separated for a few weeks at the time periodically through his work and I will always be wondering who or what he is with.
He says these women mean nothing and the phone calling means nothing and he shakes his head and says he doesn't know why he calls them, but he sure knows he will not give up chatting to them.
I always give in and get over things but somehow I can't move beyond this. We have been fighting about it for 9 months straight now. We broke up last year when I asked him to leave....in less than 2 months he had a woman living with him who he met on the net. We got back togeher in June. She called to tell me that they were still seeing eachother till end of August. It hurt a lot that he was lieing to me and sneaking out to see her...now when I say the net is no good for that reason he says I am making too much of it. I find the phone bills with all the calls and he says I am making too much of it......I honestly don't think I am.
Anyone with any advise for me?