Okay so this isn't really drug related but my friend is in trouble and I need advice about this situation....
My friend (ex) has been dating this girl for a little over two months now, but he's been desperately wanting to break up with her. However, he feels like he can't break up with her because she's depressed, threatened suicide before, and self harms. She made a comment to him saying if it weren't for him she would of had the date already picked out and would have done it. Her parents even said something to him about her attempting suicide before. She refuses to get any type of help or treatment and believes nothing is wrong with her... She also lives with him and just got a job at where he works. I don't think she would ever leave him, but he wants nothing to do with her anymore and is begging for a way out. He's afraid she will commit suicide and doesn't know how he would live with that. So, how is he supposed to leave this relationship? What is he supposed to do? My heart aches for him... This is hurting him so much staying in this relationship and describes it as being "held hostage." Every time he tries to talk to her she loses it and starts freaking out. He can't even leave the house without her flipping out about why he can't stay home with her etc, and she goes through his phone unbelievably.
One of my son's had a girlfriend that did the same thing. She manipulated him into staying in a relationship that he no longer wanted and that's exactly what that girl is doing to your friend.
What he's got to do is call the police next time she threatens suicide. They'll show up and talk to her. If they think she's serious they might take her in on a psych hold, if she's bluffing she's going to feel like an idiot but she will get the message that your friend isn't putting up with her manipulation any longer. He's got to be strong and walk away. He's not responsible for her actions. She is holding him hostage.
When my son's girlfriend threatened suicide if he left he was beside himself with worry and called me for advice. I told him he wasn't equipped to deal with suicidal threats and to call the police and tell them and that's what he did. He told the cops that she was threatening suicide, but she might not be serious and they said that calling them was the right thing to do and they'd handle it. They showed up and spoke to her and she got really angry at my son. She claimed he 'knew' she wasn't serious about suicide and how dare he embarrass her that way. She felt like an idiot, but she got the message and stopped threatening suicide. That was 10 years ago and she's happily living with someone else. I don't know how happy the guy is, but at least she's out of my son's life.
What he's got to do is call the police next time she threatens suicide. They'll show up and talk to her. If they think she's serious they might take her in on a psych hold, if she's bluffing she's going to feel like an idiot but she will get the message that your friend isn't putting up with her manipulation any longer. He's got to be strong and walk away. He's not responsible for her actions. She is holding him hostage.
When my son's girlfriend threatened suicide if he left he was beside himself with worry and called me for advice. I told him he wasn't equipped to deal with suicidal threats and to call the police and tell them and that's what he did. He told the cops that she was threatening suicide, but she might not be serious and they said that calling them was the right thing to do and they'd handle it. They showed up and spoke to her and she got really angry at my son. She claimed he 'knew' she wasn't serious about suicide and how dare he embarrass her that way. She felt like an idiot, but she got the message and stopped threatening suicide. That was 10 years ago and she's happily living with someone else. I don't know how happy the guy is, but at least she's out of my son's life.
themom,
I think the thing that worries him the most is that she's serious... apparently... Because his parents told him that she's depressed and attempted suicide before. It's just different to hear it from a parent rather than her herself. I told him to call the police the next time it happens. Whether he will or not I have no clue. She will never leave him and I don't think he understands that slowly drifting away is just going to make it worse rather than just leaving her. Thank you for your advice though. It makes sense and I really appreciate it and for you telling me your experience.
staystrong19
I think the thing that worries him the most is that she's serious... apparently... Because his parents told him that she's depressed and attempted suicide before. It's just different to hear it from a parent rather than her herself. I told him to call the police the next time it happens. Whether he will or not I have no clue. She will never leave him and I don't think he understands that slowly drifting away is just going to make it worse rather than just leaving her. Thank you for your advice though. It makes sense and I really appreciate it and for you telling me your experience.
staystrong19
It is not your friends responsibility to SAVE this person.
She has to save herself.
You being his friend should .....do work to help him get away from her.
If she REALLY did kill herself it would not be about him....it is about her.
I liked when someone said the word "manipulation"...EVERYONE moves on after relationships sour...and for him to stay with her or feel chained to her...is just insane.
help him see this is insane...help him get to counseling to move on!
She has to save herself.
You being his friend should .....do work to help him get away from her.
If she REALLY did kill herself it would not be about him....it is about her.
I liked when someone said the word "manipulation"...EVERYONE moves on after relationships sour...and for him to stay with her or feel chained to her...is just insane.
help him see this is insane...help him get to counseling to move on!
