Need Some Advice

Day 6.Wow I thought I would be over the worst. 300mg day oxy habit flushed down the toilet.Fessed up to doc, now on clonidine and a small benzo dose but boy do I feel crappy.Was hoping someone could tell me if I should be less anxious now and at least sleeping a bit .No sleep x 48 hours. How much of this is just thinking to much,how much is actual continued w/d?Thank you for any reply, just need to hear this will get better
I have heard from some people that days 6-8 are the toughest, but people vary a little. Don't worry........it WILL pass. There is good advice here! You only have to go through this once!!!!!!!! Do you have a plan for staying clean?

Welcome to the board!
Thanks for getting back to me. I've taken some time off work,i am a nurse and that was like a kid in a candy store.Have another dr. appt in am to talk and check things out phyiscally as b/p sky rocketed.I keep thinking just one more day,just one more day and this paralyzing anxiety and sleeplessness would be gone. No such luck.Continue to take my arthritis meds and use the heating pad. had a few drinks,but just made me feel more nauseated.Super supportive family,so i know i'm luckier than most.No long term plans yet... i know this is stupid and whiny but gosh,i feel like"how i am gonna make it thru the night let alone the rest of my life like this? I just HAVE to.
You can't look at the short-term.....it does seem like it will never end, but it does. Some people say that wd is miserable to remind us NOT to go through it twice. For me, the anxiety was the worst. I ended up using suboxone, but ihad to taper off that. You will get good advice here....and support. For me, I needed to come up with a plan for staying clean after I got everything out of my system. Without real work, I will go back to using. There are different choices for recovery.....we are not all the same. The main thing to remember is that this will pass and you never have to let the oxy hold you hostage again...you don't have to go through this hell again.
Hi Sue feels terrible doesnt it. I didnt sleep for about 6 days and I was physicaly sick for about 3 weeks. I thought it would never end but it does. You just have to hang in there. I drank lots of water and tried eating anything just to try and keep something in my stomach. I ate bread and crackers and bananas and also soups. Just anything to keep you going. I also drank lots of pedia lite. Try and sleep whenever you can and just try and ride it out. The anxiety was very bad for me also. Got worse at night and felt like I was going insane or something. I took about 4 to 6 hot baths a day for help with the anxiety.

I would sit in a very hot bath for awhile and then into cold shower and back to the tub for a bit. This just felt very good to my body.

Hang in there Sue. You will have lots of suppost here. Plenty of people here that have gone or going through the same thing. Keep posting.

God Bless....
Thank you to all .i've lurked here for about 6 months... can't believe how quick you've responded.God, the sleeplessness is awful.Sipping at gatorade and running to BR every 5 minuts but anxiety beats all.Just typing helps a little ,at least my mind is not grinding away at how long its been since i slept.Keep posting,I will continue to read...
I will keep talking to you for awhile Sue if that helps.
I hated the anxiety, it was absolutely horrible. But like I said it will go away. It just takes a bit of time so you will just have to hang in there.
Immodium is helpful!
I tried immodium also and yes it kept me from running to the bathroom but it made me feel sick the next day so I didnt take it anymore.
Maybe it wasnt the immodium at all but at the time I was afraid of taking any pill.

Could have just been all in my head
If you have family support, that can be huge. I was trying to hide the severity of my problem so the anxiety of wd was dominating my thoughts. Just letting someone know that you are suffering might help you stay in the moment and realize that you are ok. It's good that you have some time off.
Thanks again! up and down the stairs,lay down,twitch,get cold visit the heating pad yada yada.Geez i've never had time go so slowly. I am going to need more time than 10 days off to beat this.Hopefully can get some family leave from my doc, but don't know the ins and outs of this.Don't know how to bring up old posts and am very interested in reading about PAWS.Does forcing yourself to say,get up and clean ,take a walk,etc help? Have just been a true baby lasy 5 days or so.Did help hubby shop and make easter baskets for kids but it was hard.Thanks again......
Welcome Home,

Man, withdrawl from opiates is so horrible, in fact it is without question the worst experience I have ever had to go through.

Now, I am the type of guy who did not kick "just once" in fact my MO was go through the entire hellish withdrawl, get a glimpse of feeling good and bam take some more dope.

Being a health care person, I won't go into the physical nature of withdrawl. Other than to say it sucks, you feel like s***, the anxiety cripples you, the leg pain, oh my God what a nightmare. etc. etc. etc.

Now, as far as recovering from this. Well, that's the beautiful thing. That's the joy. That's the reason I stopped the insanity.

BECAUSE LIVING DRUG FREE IS BETTER.

For me I had to dig a little bit into my life. I had to look at my behaviors.

Was I doing things I regretted--why yes I was.

Was I doing things that were illegal---why yes I was.

Was I doing things that could kill me--why yes I was.

Was I hurting myself and others--why, yes I was

Was I losing everything that mattered to me--why yes I was.

Faced with all that information I had to make a choice.

What did I want.

The literature puts it better than I ever good.

"When at the end of the road we find that we can no longer function as a human being, either with or without drugs, we are faced with the same dilemma. What is there left to do? There seems to be this alternative: either go on as best we can to the bitter ends - jails, institutions or death - or find a new way to live."


The first thing, which is also the final thing, and the in the middle thing.

Don't Use No matter what.

One second at a time, One minute at a time, One hour at a time.

Keep coming here, post, read, post, read.

Give yourself a break man.

It's sure has been a long hard ride, right?


The GOOD NEWS is you are one of a very select few, who ever make it this far.

Yeah, it sure as hell doesn't feel like your lucky, right?

Trust me you are.

So, Thanks so much for having the courage to share, I guess inside you is a voice, somewhere down deep below the anxiety and the sickness, saying something like--

"Man, I gotta quit this s***".


I have learned that voice is the real me, and If i listen to it, and feed it..well it grows.

We have plenty of time to debate the addiction process, the recovery process, the living life process.

Just for Today...Why not make the goal.

No dope, no matter what.

Nothing more.

If you do make that the goal, and you mean it.

YOU WILL BE AMAZED.

Love





Good Morning Sue

Oh how I can relate to you...big time!!! I ct'ed off 400-600mg of oxys. Was hell. It was a good 2-2 1/2 weeks before I could even walk without getting dizzy or falling over. And sleep, not until a month or so. Now this friday I will be getting my 90 day chip. I PROMISE you it gets better. Stick to it. You are so lucky that you have support. Nobody knew about my addiction but 1 person. Now those closest to me know.

Once I was able to keep things down I took vitamins, ate alot of fruit sauces..blender and food processor was priceless. Water was my best friend. Like you I am around my doc everyday at work. I am a pharmacy tech. I can count them now without thinking about it..most days.

I had to go through that hell to remind me where I was. I think about it everyday.
Keep posting. The info and advice here are invaluable.

stay strong
hugs
Hilary
Thank you all.Still no dope. flushed it all. Back to doc in less than 1 hour for another round of weeping.But thats ok.Actually slept an hour or two but so broken up I couldn't say for sure.Yeah,as someone in healthcare i knew this would not be a fieldtrip but wow.Like I said the anxiety is paralyzing.it just glues me to the chair.Thanks for all the support.I sure do need it.Love Sue
Hang in there you'll make it. I had close to a 300 mg a day habit all RX prescribed for an injury I had. That's been 5 years ago. Sure I didn't start out at that dose, but ended up there. Tried CT twice and almost made it once was on my 5th day and had a Holiday obligation and gave back in. I have been tapering about 3 weeks, something most people say they tried and can't do. It's hard to function a lot of days, but I have been able to stick to a stick schedule for about 3 weeks now and I am totally off Oxy. I should have involved my PCP from the get go but I tend to want to take charge and do things on my own I am cutting -33% every 4th day. The first day of the cut is pretty bad, but I can't miss work, I do have a week off at the end of the month so the 24 th is my jump off day. I am down to 48 mg of Hydrocodone which I know is less potent than Oxy. I'll cut again Thursday and by the time I jump off I should be at 1 -- 7.5 mg pill 1/2 am and 1/2 pm..I wonder what my Dr. is going to say ? I have been on Oxy for 5 years? I never asked to be put on it I was just in tons of pain. The first day of each drop is bad the WD's are from what I call a 6-7 out of 10. I can't imagine the Hell you are going through or maybe I just don't want to. Hang in there seems like it takes 2-3 weeks to get some good feeling back after jumping off that high of a dose. You can make it and like many have said put in a plan to never go back..good luck you can do it ! Others here have more experience with going CT from a high dose like Foggy she can tell you exactly what it's like...Good luck to you !

YES STAY STRONG !
Hey Sue, welcome to the board...you've gotten some really good advice, I just wanted to add one more thing. Don't drink. Alcohol is a drug and it will start your withdrawals all over again. Just make you feel worse as I'm sure you found out.

Are you getting any other support besides family and your doctor? Does your boss know? Has anyone talked to you about treatment for medical professionals with addiction problems?
Thank you again for all your loving support and advice.Just got 2 more weeks off from a very understanding doc, so no work thru at least the 26th.Also put on trazadone for sleep/depression and zoloft.Any experience with thse? Jst typing helps.I am researching some meetings but afraid.....Wiil continue to foolow thread and thanks again.Love Sue
Welcome Sue,

Glad you found us and are reaching out. Fatigue/no sleep was the longest of the withdrawls for me lasting right around 3 weeks but what I found was after about day 8, I'd get a couple hours and found myself grateful for those 4 hr blocks of sleep. The energy took awhile to get back but I took it easy on myself, had little goals of things to do, did them and then was okay with the things I did get done and didn't stress on the things I couldn't do. It took me a long time and a lot of drugs to get to where I was so I had to be patient with my body while it tried to repair all the damage I caused with drugs.

Baby steps was my motto for a long time. Be good to yourself, do what you can and leave the rest. The biggest thing for me was no matter what I faced in a day, I didn't pick up and use, no matter what.

You're doing good. One day at a time, things will continue to improve.

Take care,
Stacey
Thanks for all the great advice and encouragement.Keep saying "I know this too shall pass.Trying little things like taking out trash,washing a load of clothes.All seem like mount everest right now.Hubby picking up the pieces. The only thing I know today is I will NOT USE NO MATTER WHAT.
Sue
Its one day at a time. If that seems to much, go min to min or even second to second. Good for you saying to yourself "I WILL NOT USE' I"m proud of you for that!!!

I cried at the drop of a hat. Went into a blind rage just as fast. We suppressed our emotions for so long that some of them will feel like they are flooding us. I still get blue and figure it'll be an ongoing thing. THAT being said, 6 1/2 out of 7 days I feel amazing. I'm starting to work out and I'm losing my winter weight (and summer, spring, fall) I feel so alive. I'm getting that old glow back to my face and sparkle in my eyes...not my words but those around me.

I love this board and the ppl on it. At times it is tough love but most of the time just straight up love. :-)

Thinking of you,
Hilary