I went and got a dog last night. She is cute and well mannered lab. I did this because on the weekends that I don't have my kids I wanted some company. So I went and adopted one at the animal shelter. It was $150 (I thought they were free LOL) Anyway, I cannot believe I am so apprehensive and scared now. Like I am almost afraid of loving her and I already love her. I am sitting here at work thinking of her and I cannot wait to take her on a walk tonight. I have been three years with out my DOC-Dog of choice LOL and it feels so good and right. Her name is Lilly and she is a white dog. Just like I had growing up. I am actually scared of loving her is that wierd. I need someone's assurance why would I be scared? What does that say about my readiness to have a relationship with a human being? I am one fouled up cookie. I need to hear someone this morning. Thanks in advance.
Love,
Jane
Morning Jane...
Awwww...I am the proud owner of a 3yr white (now a tad yellowish) lab and he is the bestest dog in the whole world...He loves all of us so much and so unconditionally....His name is Buddy and he has no enemies....I bet Buddy would love Lilly....
Anyways, back to you...Fear is a funny thing as it pops in sometimes when we least expect it...Maybe you're thinking too much about it and just need to remember to stay in today, don't worry as then your robbing yourself of enjoying everything the day has to offer...I know for me, when we first got Buddy, I was afraid he'd get out or get hurt, or we'd start to love him and something bad would happen (we'd just lost a pup a few months before) but he was so damn lovable and friendly, I found myself just relaxing and playing with him and enjoying him....still do, and when I'm having a rough day or PMS, he still loves me....
Let go of the fear....pray and give it to God...nothing is going to happen to Lilly and she'll be waiting for you when you get home...she might even have a mess for you to clean up as puppies are very, very curious and love to get into things they're not supposed to...I look forward to hearing all about her little episcades in the very near future <smiling>
Congratulations on your newest family member....I can't wait for pictures...
(((hugs)))
Stacey
Awwww...I am the proud owner of a 3yr white (now a tad yellowish) lab and he is the bestest dog in the whole world...He loves all of us so much and so unconditionally....His name is Buddy and he has no enemies....I bet Buddy would love Lilly....
Anyways, back to you...Fear is a funny thing as it pops in sometimes when we least expect it...Maybe you're thinking too much about it and just need to remember to stay in today, don't worry as then your robbing yourself of enjoying everything the day has to offer...I know for me, when we first got Buddy, I was afraid he'd get out or get hurt, or we'd start to love him and something bad would happen (we'd just lost a pup a few months before) but he was so damn lovable and friendly, I found myself just relaxing and playing with him and enjoying him....still do, and when I'm having a rough day or PMS, he still loves me....
Let go of the fear....pray and give it to God...nothing is going to happen to Lilly and she'll be waiting for you when you get home...she might even have a mess for you to clean up as puppies are very, very curious and love to get into things they're not supposed to...I look forward to hearing all about her little episcades in the very near future <smiling>
Congratulations on your newest family member....I can't wait for pictures...
(((hugs)))
Stacey
Hi JustJane!
Seems like lots of dog lovers on this forum, myself included. I know how scarey it is to let yourself love again, especially after losing someone you love. You didn't mention a loss, I'm assuming because thats one area I don't think any of us escape from - whether it's a loss thru death, divorce, a break-up, whatever. It sounds like you're so scared to be vulnerable again and I know that feeling. I think dogs are very special, I've always had a dog, I have a 13 year old shih-tzu now. But its total loyalty, devotion, they're always glad to see you, in their eyes you do no wrong. Whats not to like about that? I've had friends who are dog-lovers lose their dog and it's so painful, they don't get another dog to avoid that pain. I kind of understand that, but I feel its a bigger lose to deny youself that love to avoid pain. I had a scare recently with my dog (Teddy), I came home and he was sitting there with his head cocked to one side - it was unusual, but i didn't think anything of it at first. Then I noticed he could hardly walk, his equilibrium was off, and his left side didn't move properly. OMG a stroke! I just knew it, and he's 13 and was crying because he couldn't go up and down the stairs anymore. It was horrible. Well, I took him to the vet first thing the next morning, and as soon as the vet saw his head cocked, he knew. It was only an ear infection!! Put him on meds, now he's fine, except he still sometimes wants me to carry him up and down the stairs - which I do, but its kinda difficult cuz I'm in a cast!! I go down on my butt! My brother, who is in recovery, has 5 dogs! All kinds, and they come to you in a pack. He rescues them from everywhere. I'm sorry, I've drifted off the subject somewhat. I think it's great you have Lilly. And while you may be afraid to love her, like you said - you already do. I think its a very positive thing - and while I don't know your story - this seems like a healing of some sort. Its scary to love again, but maybe the alternative is scarier. Thanks for this topic, talking about dogs put me in a good mood!
Seems like lots of dog lovers on this forum, myself included. I know how scarey it is to let yourself love again, especially after losing someone you love. You didn't mention a loss, I'm assuming because thats one area I don't think any of us escape from - whether it's a loss thru death, divorce, a break-up, whatever. It sounds like you're so scared to be vulnerable again and I know that feeling. I think dogs are very special, I've always had a dog, I have a 13 year old shih-tzu now. But its total loyalty, devotion, they're always glad to see you, in their eyes you do no wrong. Whats not to like about that? I've had friends who are dog-lovers lose their dog and it's so painful, they don't get another dog to avoid that pain. I kind of understand that, but I feel its a bigger lose to deny youself that love to avoid pain. I had a scare recently with my dog (Teddy), I came home and he was sitting there with his head cocked to one side - it was unusual, but i didn't think anything of it at first. Then I noticed he could hardly walk, his equilibrium was off, and his left side didn't move properly. OMG a stroke! I just knew it, and he's 13 and was crying because he couldn't go up and down the stairs anymore. It was horrible. Well, I took him to the vet first thing the next morning, and as soon as the vet saw his head cocked, he knew. It was only an ear infection!! Put him on meds, now he's fine, except he still sometimes wants me to carry him up and down the stairs - which I do, but its kinda difficult cuz I'm in a cast!! I go down on my butt! My brother, who is in recovery, has 5 dogs! All kinds, and they come to you in a pack. He rescues them from everywhere. I'm sorry, I've drifted off the subject somewhat. I think it's great you have Lilly. And while you may be afraid to love her, like you said - you already do. I think its a very positive thing - and while I don't know your story - this seems like a healing of some sort. Its scary to love again, but maybe the alternative is scarier. Thanks for this topic, talking about dogs put me in a good mood!
Thanks guys. Ya Iola the loss is just the dogs I had before the divorce and the divorce itself. It's scarey adn I'm scared but I will takes Stacey's advice and live in the moment. I love dogs I am just afraid I may not be for the dog. But I've got to give myself a chance and like a girl at work said. I wish I would have found dogs a long time ago it may have save me a couple of marriages. LOL So this dog is in lue of a bf for now. Hope we work out.
Love,
Jane
Love,
Jane
Jane...Huny it will come as I know after being with a pet & bonding...the love will come.I can understand though.Its been over 10 years since I had to put my Champ down & though I think from time to time about getting another...I just cant.
Let her get to know you & youll feel a bond,a trust & a love that is so strong.
As for adoptions,I know from working in that field...the fee is usually to help for the cost of vet bills,spaying etc....
molly
It is for the spay and rabies and what not. MJ I just get afraid that I won't be able to be everything I would like to be for her. I would love to be the owner that has it out constantly walking or in the yard and hanging out. I am going to be the best owner I can be. I know you work int his field and I am grateful for people like you who can give a place to be inbetween homes. I lived in a halfway house for a few months when I was gtting back on track and I was so grateful (although I didn't show it through action I relapsed) but I was truley grateful I had some place to go. So me and the dog already have that bond. I am going to be a good owner and give her what I have I hope it is enought. Am I being wierd?
ok I just realized that I need to read my own positive thought for the day. I am already complete. I have love to give. I am going to be alright.
Love you all,
Jane
Love you all,
Jane
You will be fine...they best part about dogs is all they want, all they long for is our love and you, my friend, have a huge heart and a lot of love to give...
Trust yourself, Jane...let the insecurities go, tell yourself you are worth it and just open up that big heart and let the love flow....
Smooches...
Stacey
Trust yourself, Jane...let the insecurities go, tell yourself you are worth it and just open up that big heart and let the love flow....
Smooches...
Stacey
Jane, it's because of all the crap you've had in your life and your struggle to overcome it. You are just insecure and vulnerable right now and you will overcome that eventually. Very normal stuff. Just keep doing what you are doing.
Stop on the way home tonight and buy that pooch a little treat and give her some nice scratchies on the tummy tonight after her walk.
Stop on the way home tonight and buy that pooch a little treat and give her some nice scratchies on the tummy tonight after her walk.
Jane...the MOST important thing is to let it happen naturally.It may take time,trust & mostly love but it will happen.Heck lady just by adopting her it proves you are such a kind hearted woman with alot of love to give.Small steps & I promise you will have one of the best friends in your life.Theres nothing more powerful or stronger than an animals love...Just let it happen.I can tell your so kind & I know just know that your baby will feel that & react to it
molly
molly
Jane...
It is natural to feel apprehensive about loving someone or something, because of the risk of losing that special someone or something. I feel relunctant myself about loving anyone or anything, because of my fear of rejection and/or failure. I hope this helps.
Deirdre
It is natural to feel apprehensive about loving someone or something, because of the risk of losing that special someone or something. I feel relunctant myself about loving anyone or anything, because of my fear of rejection and/or failure. I hope this helps.
Deirdre
Thanks for all your responses. I get to points in my life and I feel like I must be wierd I guess because I am feeling maybe LOL. It means so much to me that you guys can see that I feel so vulnerable through the computer screen. Your the best friends you always get it. and I like it.
Love,
Jane
Love,
Jane
JustJane:
I love this topic, its bringing out the Awwww's in everyone! Something about dog people, dogs are just social, seems like dog people are too. Don't worry, . you'll be everything and more that Lilly needs. Just loving her is all they ask, you have given her a home and she knows that. Don't be so hard on yourself, you can have her sleep by your feet when you watch TV, take her in the car, play with your kids, throw the ball, are you kidding? That dog has it made! She's gonna have a great life, thanks to you and she's going to add so much to your life too! The cool thing about dogs is, although you're questioning yourself and your abilities, Lilly has no doubts.
I love this topic, its bringing out the Awwww's in everyone! Something about dog people, dogs are just social, seems like dog people are too. Don't worry, . you'll be everything and more that Lilly needs. Just loving her is all they ask, you have given her a home and she knows that. Don't be so hard on yourself, you can have her sleep by your feet when you watch TV, take her in the car, play with your kids, throw the ball, are you kidding? That dog has it made! She's gonna have a great life, thanks to you and she's going to add so much to your life too! The cool thing about dogs is, although you're questioning yourself and your abilities, Lilly has no doubts.
Jane,sorry im so late on this topic. We had a little s***tsu(sp) i named her Missy,took her for her grooming all the time,i just loved her to death!she slept under my bed,under my side,always.She would sit outside the bathroom door when i would go in there.She grew up with my youngest son,they grew up together.But there was no denying she was MY dog,she worshiped the ground i walked on,and i did all the caring for her.
When my grandchildrne came along,she became very mean,jealous,and would nip at them once they learned to crawl.I tried to get rid of her.I couldnt find anyone who wanted her.I couldtn keep her either,not with the grandbabies,so i had her put to sleep,it killed me.I cried for days....anyway....
I promised myself never again,no more dogs. Two christmas's ago my husband decided he wanted a puppy that my son had brought over.I fought with him for days,i sadi no way are we having a dog(deep down i didnt want to give any love to him...becasue i was afraid)hubby put his foot down,we kept the dog.Im still slowly letting him into my heart.Im still afraid to give in wholely.He got lose off the chain the other day and i flipped.So...so much for not caring,i tried,but hes in my heart whether i want him there or not.
What im saying is,for me,its the fear of losing something once you give all your love to it.Its a scary step.But i too believe you will be great and will love that dog with all your heart(whether you want to or not,lol)She will be a great companion for you when the childrne are gone.It WILL come naturally all on its own.Enjoy~KIM
When my grandchildrne came along,she became very mean,jealous,and would nip at them once they learned to crawl.I tried to get rid of her.I couldnt find anyone who wanted her.I couldtn keep her either,not with the grandbabies,so i had her put to sleep,it killed me.I cried for days....anyway....
I promised myself never again,no more dogs. Two christmas's ago my husband decided he wanted a puppy that my son had brought over.I fought with him for days,i sadi no way are we having a dog(deep down i didnt want to give any love to him...becasue i was afraid)hubby put his foot down,we kept the dog.Im still slowly letting him into my heart.Im still afraid to give in wholely.He got lose off the chain the other day and i flipped.So...so much for not caring,i tried,but hes in my heart whether i want him there or not.
What im saying is,for me,its the fear of losing something once you give all your love to it.Its a scary step.But i too believe you will be great and will love that dog with all your heart(whether you want to or not,lol)She will be a great companion for you when the childrne are gone.It WILL come naturally all on its own.Enjoy~KIM
Jane,
It sounds like you want to be The Perfect Dog Owner. I think you are already perfect in Lilly's eyes -- or will soon become so as you both learn to trust. You've already saved her life. She's lucky to have you.
Love,
Gina
It sounds like you want to be The Perfect Dog Owner. I think you are already perfect in Lilly's eyes -- or will soon become so as you both learn to trust. You've already saved her life. She's lucky to have you.
Love,
Gina
i LOVE,LOVE,LOVE, dogs they are the best and i have three!! i am TERRIFIED of losing them, i love them like my children. i cant bear to think of that day.
anyway congratulations on the arrival of your new daughter! just remember to put her in a cage when you leave otherwise she will get into trouble! and you dont want to be mad at puppy. love jewels
anyway congratulations on the arrival of your new daughter! just remember to put her in a cage when you leave otherwise she will get into trouble! and you dont want to be mad at puppy. love jewels
