My older brother is a Heroin addict. He has struggled to stay clean for the last 5 years. Been in and out of jail. He went through drug court which was the longest stretch of him being clean, and unfortunately that didn't last for long. He has lived with my mom, younger brother, and I off and on for the last few years. As a result, we have been the closest victims of his spiraling journey into darkness. Stealing from us, lying, bringing his world into our quiet lives disrupting it with every turn. After a major confrontation between the two of us, he swore he had been clean for the last 14 days. Although I am reluctant to believe a word he says.
I personally suffer from depression and anxiety, and was recently layed off from my job. Causing a massive amount of stress. Stretching my nerves to a breaking point. My brother is amplifying my underlying depression and anxiety and I feel as though I am in the verge of a nervous breakdown. I have a twelve year old brother who doesn't need to he exposed to my older brother's addiction anymore than he has. I am at the point now where the only other option I have left is to kick my brother out of the house. But if I do he wont have anywhere to go.
I love my brother, he is my family and it truly breaks my heart to even have to consider kicking him out to bring some sort of equilibrium to my life. However I don't know what resources there are to help my brother. He swears he is clean and refuses to get himself into a treatment center and he doesn't have a job to pay for rent into an oxford house.
I don't know what else to do. I am simply asking for anyone out there who has some insight to help me. Maybe give me some resources. I'm at the end of the rope, and out of time. At some point I have to think of my own mental well being, and I don't know how else to help my brother.
So sorry that you have to experience this addiction craziness! This forum has great advice and support. Yes--you absolutely need to take care of you ASAP! You have a 12 y/o brother that needs you and you are expending all your energy on your addicted brother when in fact you cannot change him!
I am sorry ,I don't believe he is clean as he said and even if he was --he still needs rehab or treatment to stay clean. Staying clean is the hard part! Having your brother live with you only delays him doing what he needs to do and that is take care of himself and his daily needs! Why should he get clean and stay clean if he has a place to live and provided for him?? You are just delaying him hitting his bottom and just maybe turning his life around!
If your mental health is in trouble and at a breaking point, then you need to change this living situation soon! Read the posts on here (Lolleedee just posted one that says it all) and try Alanon or Naranon meetings. They can give you the support you will need going forward.
It isn't too late and you can change this situation for the better for everyone involved. Don't worry about your brother being homeless because addicts have a network of people and places and he will find one to live with. He is not your problem or responsibility!!
Take care of you--(((HUGS)))--Lori
I am sorry ,I don't believe he is clean as he said and even if he was --he still needs rehab or treatment to stay clean. Staying clean is the hard part! Having your brother live with you only delays him doing what he needs to do and that is take care of himself and his daily needs! Why should he get clean and stay clean if he has a place to live and provided for him?? You are just delaying him hitting his bottom and just maybe turning his life around!
If your mental health is in trouble and at a breaking point, then you need to change this living situation soon! Read the posts on here (Lolleedee just posted one that says it all) and try Alanon or Naranon meetings. They can give you the support you will need going forward.
It isn't too late and you can change this situation for the better for everyone involved. Don't worry about your brother being homeless because addicts have a network of people and places and he will find one to live with. He is not your problem or responsibility!!
Take care of you--(((HUGS)))--Lori
read these posts that have been bumped up: Ways Family Members can Help, What Not to do, Let me fall all by myself, Will you learn to say No
tell your brother you love him, but set down some household rules to keep the chaos out. only a few rules are needed. has job, contributes to household, does a few chores, etc.
If he can not live within the rules then he needs to leave. or just simply say he can not stay. he needs to have job and find his own place, etc..
go to Naranon to have a place to vent and hear other's stories and get some feedback and suggestions.
tell your brother you love him, but set down some household rules to keep the chaos out. only a few rules are needed. has job, contributes to household, does a few chores, etc.
If he can not live within the rules then he needs to leave. or just simply say he can not stay. he needs to have job and find his own place, etc..
go to Naranon to have a place to vent and hear other's stories and get some feedback and suggestions.
hi i am as we say in recovery and from this side i can tell you only 1 thing is to look first after your 12 year old brother, parents and only then think about your brother who is addict. Many of us wont change for better until we reach bottom .. nobody can help him until he really really want this change and even then its not that easy, its ongoing daily battle and for many its easier to give up just give in to addition cos its simple all you need to think about is getting money for drugs then buying /using and so on and on where clean life is struggle , struggle with bills, work, emotions, cravings ... I can go on but I wont! Please put others before your addicted brother and let him fend for himself of course you can always Google different Links where he an find help with housing, recovery, rehabs ,NA meetings BUT he has to call dont do anything for him which he can. He needs to take responsibility for his action and learn everything we do have its own consequences
We are here to support you , Bonnie!
We are here to support you , Bonnie!
