hi to all, i need to shere this, its realy bothering me, for the last almost, 2years, my son has not been doing good, with meds, and his breake up, from the mother off his children, he has 2gerils, so my hubby and i have beentaken caer off them on weekends, till my son got better, well he just went, back to work 3weeks ago, after bing off sick leave, he was in rehab, this past summer with me, but he got asked to leave, becuse he was yousing, he blames me for everthing wrong in his life, and thinks i want to take the kids away, he has done alot off dameg, in the last 6months, by not bing there for them our bing consetent, we have been there for them, they are, vary close to us, somtimes i feel like there mother and not there gradmother, we do everthing with them and we put there needs fierst, the problem is this, on weekends its a fight to get them to sleep at there dads, the youngest will somtimes but not my oldes, they are vary smart and now when daddyis ok, and when his not, last nite we took the kids to a talent show, and then my son showed up, he was ok, but had bing drinking, a little,so the kids were suppose to sleep at dads, but it truned into them screming that they did,ent want to go, it got so bade, i was crying becuse he was trying to pull, then out off the car, well it was a bing mess, so i brought, the kids back here with my son to talk to my hubby, he was saying it was all my fault, that im truning the kids away from him, no its his fault. he has not bing there for them and there going throu so mush with there mother and her new hubby hows a goof, and the kids don,t, like him another stoer in won,t get into, writ now, i do not want to hurt my son, but i can,t alow the kids to go there when he is out off it, and thats how its been for somtime now, he realy needs to go back into rehab, and he might have lost his job, becuse off yousing, and he makes 26,a houer, how sad for his, gerles, but he is socaught, up in him self, its sade to wauch, it breaks my hart and i don,t no what to do enymoer, i have my oun sturgels, but i always put the gerles fierst, thanks karen.
You said he was drinking. Was he drunk? Say drunk enough to get a DUI?
Karen,
If you're asking if you're doing the right thing by keeping the girls so much while their father is intoxicated, IMO you are. I'm sure the situation is very painful for all parties -- but especially for the children. Their needs and safety must come first.
Where is the girls' mother? Can she not care for them, or is she also in active addiction?
Best of luck.
Gina
If you're asking if you're doing the right thing by keeping the girls so much while their father is intoxicated, IMO you are. I'm sure the situation is very painful for all parties -- but especially for the children. Their needs and safety must come first.
Where is the girls' mother? Can she not care for them, or is she also in active addiction?
Best of luck.
Gina
my son, does not drive, he was not that loaded, but it was the way the gierls were scerming and crying, my son is trying his best but there has been some dameg, done ,there mother is in recovory and just went throu a nother 28,days, she and my son split up 2years ago, after she went out on him with a older man, bye as mush as 20 years, older, and we no him vary well, this guy has been after my xdauther,inlaw, since she was 13, its a long store, then she had his babby, we do not get along at all with him, they both stabed us in the back, no they are not getting along, and the kids are seeing fights all the time, we have always been there for her, and have tried to get along with him for the gerls sake but he is just such a goof, and vary mean to the kids we just could,ent put up, with him, enymoer, this is his 4marige, and 6 kids later, so my son is still hurt by all this, and never misses, his support, and he was not like this before all this happend, somtimes i still blame her, but ive worked thro a lot off it, we all have gone thro the same program, here so when we go to mettings we have to see oneanother, its not like AA, but the samthing, its a recovory, program,so i hope you have a better pictuer, off it, now, thanks karen.
Karen...how are you doing? Are you clean?
The best gift you can give your grandchildren is a clean and sober grandmother. They have had so much in thier young lives...you could make a real difference for them. You can't change or control your son's problems, but you can help those kids by helping yourself. I know this has got to be a very difficult time for everyone and very stressful. Please take care of you as well....
Cowgirl
The best gift you can give your grandchildren is a clean and sober grandmother. They have had so much in thier young lives...you could make a real difference for them. You can't change or control your son's problems, but you can help those kids by helping yourself. I know this has got to be a very difficult time for everyone and very stressful. Please take care of you as well....
Cowgirl
Well Karin, a number of things (and I am going to make some assumptions so exuse me if I am wrong)
First, I know you love your son, but never, ever let the kids get into a car with him if he is driving and under the inluece. That means alcohol or drugs. I know you are recoving so the same goes for you. Not only could it easily kill the kids, but the legal rammifications of a DUI (and they happen all the time with drugs too) when kids are in the car are much more severe than a regular DUI. Much more.
Second, I am assuming you do not have custody of the kids, but rather the father and mother does. However, you do recognize the danger the situation presents to the kids. You can do a couple of things about it. You can go to court and file a motion for change of custody of the kids to you until both your son and his ex xan prove to the court they are straight. The state doesn't like to place children with parents who are both addicted to something. In fact, many states prohibit it and I would bet yours does. CPS could also then get involved.
This does not dimish either parents parental rights but places the children in a safe environment. You might have a problem doing this though as I have read your story here and you and your husband are an addicts yourselves. Are you really in recovery? Not judging. Just asking.
Third, you can't control who the ex see's, even if you don't like the guy. Forget the creep. He has no real bearing in this unless he abuses the kids.
The kids seem to have real issues here (turst, fear, whatever) and it seems to be up to you to change that. You need to foster a relationship between them and both parents. Just don't do it if either of them are high.
There is a lot you can do. It depends how much you want to put yourself out there. Just remember, whatever is in the best interest of the children is the right thing to do.
First, I know you love your son, but never, ever let the kids get into a car with him if he is driving and under the inluece. That means alcohol or drugs. I know you are recoving so the same goes for you. Not only could it easily kill the kids, but the legal rammifications of a DUI (and they happen all the time with drugs too) when kids are in the car are much more severe than a regular DUI. Much more.
Second, I am assuming you do not have custody of the kids, but rather the father and mother does. However, you do recognize the danger the situation presents to the kids. You can do a couple of things about it. You can go to court and file a motion for change of custody of the kids to you until both your son and his ex xan prove to the court they are straight. The state doesn't like to place children with parents who are both addicted to something. In fact, many states prohibit it and I would bet yours does. CPS could also then get involved.
This does not dimish either parents parental rights but places the children in a safe environment. You might have a problem doing this though as I have read your story here and you and your husband are an addicts yourselves. Are you really in recovery? Not judging. Just asking.
Third, you can't control who the ex see's, even if you don't like the guy. Forget the creep. He has no real bearing in this unless he abuses the kids.
The kids seem to have real issues here (turst, fear, whatever) and it seems to be up to you to change that. You need to foster a relationship between them and both parents. Just don't do it if either of them are high.
There is a lot you can do. It depends how much you want to put yourself out there. Just remember, whatever is in the best interest of the children is the right thing to do.
