hi guys, first time posting but have read alot of posts since i quit 30 days ago. i was addicted to pain pills for 20 some yrs. percs were my d.o.c and ate them by the handfuls for a long time. i lost a excellent job of 7 yrs. in health care because of my addiction also im now being put on probation for 1yr. and have been charged with a felony of prescription fraud,been on subutex since i stopped and generally feel good but lately im haveing "stinkin thinkin" why???? i would think by now the urge would not be so strong,i have almost ruiened my life with this crap and all i seem to think about is those pills, you would think i would have learned after all ive lost, another thing i dont understand is my luck b-4 when on pills my life was smooth or so it seemed but when i stopped my black cloud just hovers, i mean it. everything went to hell.i thought things would start to look up but it just seems as thou thers no end, please tell me this will pass, does it get better? im just confused.ive tried meetings but all thats in my area is a/a and i cant always get ther due to transpo problems.from what i gather from reading is i would love to have a sponser, some one i could talk and confide in, is it possible to do n/a on line? if so how? i want to thank you all because this board has been there when i feel alone and no one around me understands addiction like you guys the people around me smoke pot and never been addicted to anything, so i dont feel as though i can really open up. please help
Hi Over-it;
Way to go on the 30 days! I just hit 30 days last week, and I cam empathize I think. For whatever reason the past few days have been particularly tough mood wise for me. I'm fortunate that I do get to NA/AA meetings regularly. But it's tough right now, and there are some serious personal problems I'm dealing with too. I guess this is what's called dealing with life on life's terms.
Try this site: www.egna.org
There are others I'm sure...this is one I'm familar with.
Stay strong;
Jim
Way to go on the 30 days! I just hit 30 days last week, and I cam empathize I think. For whatever reason the past few days have been particularly tough mood wise for me. I'm fortunate that I do get to NA/AA meetings regularly. But it's tough right now, and there are some serious personal problems I'm dealing with too. I guess this is what's called dealing with life on life's terms.
Try this site: www.egna.org
There are others I'm sure...this is one I'm familar with.
Stay strong;
Jim
question over it....
if you needed your drug before you quit would a problem with transportation stop you from getting your drug?... they say that if we put as much energy into our recovery as we did our using then we have a good chance of making it...
just something to think about...
you are making good first steps... being here and being clean for 30 days is good... dont get defensive about that question cause that is the very questiont that was asked of me... I had to travel 45 min to a meeting and I didnt want to ask for help and I certainly didnt want to tell them to where... but..... then my sponsor said well... how far have you driven for drugs... if you didnt have a way would you have asked to get there....
the answers were of course yes so....
God Bless and good luckk.... it does get better.... it is worth it..
Teresa
if you needed your drug before you quit would a problem with transportation stop you from getting your drug?... they say that if we put as much energy into our recovery as we did our using then we have a good chance of making it...
just something to think about...
you are making good first steps... being here and being clean for 30 days is good... dont get defensive about that question cause that is the very questiont that was asked of me... I had to travel 45 min to a meeting and I didnt want to ask for help and I certainly didnt want to tell them to where... but..... then my sponsor said well... how far have you driven for drugs... if you didnt have a way would you have asked to get there....
the answers were of course yes so....
God Bless and good luckk.... it does get better.... it is worth it..
Teresa
I was afraid to walk into N/A because I was coming back from a relapse. I was clean for seven years and then started the whole hideous pill addiction from a prescription. The funny thing is, I wasn't afraid of a felony for going downtown and copping drugs from the drug dealer. Boy, would I go to any length to score, faking backaches, etc. I concur with Teresa, we have to go to any lengths to stay clean. My experience, and it is just that, is I have to go to meetings, have a sponsor, hang out with my AA posse and work the steps. Oh yeah and I DO read the Big Book and try to follow the principles of rigorous honesty.
Rachel
Rachel
thanks racheal
wow.. someone agrees.... after yesterday ... it is nice to read that my being forthright didnt get my head bit off... but alas the days not over... lol... thanks... love ya....
the big book.... what a marvel...huh...
Teresa
wow.. someone agrees.... after yesterday ... it is nice to read that my being forthright didnt get my head bit off... but alas the days not over... lol... thanks... love ya....
the big book.... what a marvel...huh...
Teresa
thanks for all replys, unfortunetly my drugs were delivered by our local pharmacy,i know i need to find a way to get to a n/a meeting, im trying the one on line that was suggested, i just get so frustrated i try to walk on the road of recovery and it seems i hit stumps all the time nothing seems to go my way, i got to a meeting last week and they were working on step 4 and i dont even know steps 1-3 yet i dont have the $ to buy a book was wondering what are the steps and can i find them online, how do you "work them" please help me.
hi guys 30 day each wow what an achievement big congrats jackie xxxx
Hi Over-it:
At meetings here in Los Angeles, they will make very liberal means for which to obtain a Big Book, usually if you don't have the cash they'll donate it. Don't know if that's true everywhere. Otherwise they are at cost, I think about $5. Talk to the person who does literature and read "There is a Solution." Sounds like you were at a Step Study. Don't worry, they'll end up back on step one in time. Sounds like you've admitted you are powerless hence, the action in showing up at a meeting. Alas, step one! Keep going it gets better.
Rach
At meetings here in Los Angeles, they will make very liberal means for which to obtain a Big Book, usually if you don't have the cash they'll donate it. Don't know if that's true everywhere. Otherwise they are at cost, I think about $5. Talk to the person who does literature and read "There is a Solution." Sounds like you were at a Step Study. Don't worry, they'll end up back on step one in time. Sounds like you've admitted you are powerless hence, the action in showing up at a meeting. Alas, step one! Keep going it gets better.
Rach
dear over... here are the steps.... when you go to the meeting you need make sure you are noted as new and make contact with someone who can help you.. i know this may be hard... but it is worth the risk of imbarassment... you probably went to a step meeting... my point was in my prievious post was we need to go to any lengths for our recovery....you can go to AA too the step are basically the same just the word drug and alcohol is used depending on which meeting you are at.. if you are in AA meeting they say alcohol .. but a drug is a drug... the first 3 steps are most important in early recovery... i am not sure if you can get the basic NA text online but i will try to find out... but read the steps for now... Good luck
1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Teresa
1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Teresa
thanks guys, i have found someone who will take me to the "brown bag" n/a meeting tom. what does brown bag mean, im so scared i know i need to do this but i dont have anyone to encourage me and some times i get discoureged but im trying hard, i dont understand steps 2 &3 how do you work these. i dont know what it means by work them. i was raised catholic but am not a regular parishoner at any certain church i know this is probebly wrong but im really questioning my faith in life i really thought things would be better after quitting drugs, now i know that things arent gonna be quick in repairing my problems but this really sucks no matter how hard i try and rectify something it seems to backfire and i get so frustrated, i guess this is where a sponser comes in, i cant wait to get one,how do i get one? do i ask someone at a meeting? are ther requirements i need to know? im sorry for these silly ?s but im so new at this and have no-one, please be patient with me guys, your all i have. thanks again
over it..
let me answer some of your questions.... first dont be scared... you are not the first one to ever be the first one.. or new... i was new.. I didnt know what NA stood for.. anyway... first the sponsor thing.... you can get what is called a temporary sponsor ... first let me tell you what a sponsor does... they help you 'work' the steps, they support you, they are a contact person for you often day or night.. they can often give you rides to meetings.. ect... your sponsor needs to be of your same gender if at all possible, of the same personality type to some degree, have simular backrounds, but you will know when you know... the most important thing is get a temporary one as soon as possible... the reason for a temporary one is .. it may take a while to get to know someone and get comfortable enough to ask them to be your sponsor so getting a temp is a way to get one while still looking.. sometimes your temporary becomes your sponsor later ... but just get someone...
Ask someone at the meeting you are going to... the requirments are simple is the desire to stop using ... ask for phone numbers.. often you dont have to ask... just introduce your self when they go around the room as .... my name is _______ I am an addict I am new.... or something like that....
probably before the end of the meeting you will have a list of number handed to you... if not.. then you may need to take the inititive.. the chairperson would be a good person to see after the meeting....
As for the steps...
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
We use the term 'work' the steps not to mean physically doing something to work them.. some of them you do or can like the 4th... making a list... but some you just believe or evaluate your self.... take the number 2 for example.... that may sound elementray but is it.... I thought that i had done it but one day I woke up and realized at some point I had again taked the notion that I was responsible for my sanity and that I could get me out and then the third step is about control... I also had taken back control... so working those two steps sometimes is a daily thing... giving up control and believing that the drug is more powerful that you... it is mental work not physical... but that is where a sponsor comes in...
I know this is all new and scary... this is exactly why most of us around for a while tell those just getting clean that the w/d that they are so worried about is the easy part... the hard part is living life clean....
as for being catholic... I really am not the best person to talk to about that.. I am no catholic... very much not.... I strongly believe that no priest can tell me how many hail maries.or our fathers to say to get absolution or what ever. .. and I can go to a God of my understanding my self without an intermediatry and pray... so.. for that you probably need other counsel....
Go to your meeting... Please listen and make at least one contact and get one phone number....
Where are you from?.... you really need to some way get a basic text or a big book...
let me answer some of your questions.... first dont be scared... you are not the first one to ever be the first one.. or new... i was new.. I didnt know what NA stood for.. anyway... first the sponsor thing.... you can get what is called a temporary sponsor ... first let me tell you what a sponsor does... they help you 'work' the steps, they support you, they are a contact person for you often day or night.. they can often give you rides to meetings.. ect... your sponsor needs to be of your same gender if at all possible, of the same personality type to some degree, have simular backrounds, but you will know when you know... the most important thing is get a temporary one as soon as possible... the reason for a temporary one is .. it may take a while to get to know someone and get comfortable enough to ask them to be your sponsor so getting a temp is a way to get one while still looking.. sometimes your temporary becomes your sponsor later ... but just get someone...
Ask someone at the meeting you are going to... the requirments are simple is the desire to stop using ... ask for phone numbers.. often you dont have to ask... just introduce your self when they go around the room as .... my name is _______ I am an addict I am new.... or something like that....
probably before the end of the meeting you will have a list of number handed to you... if not.. then you may need to take the inititive.. the chairperson would be a good person to see after the meeting....
As for the steps...
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
We use the term 'work' the steps not to mean physically doing something to work them.. some of them you do or can like the 4th... making a list... but some you just believe or evaluate your self.... take the number 2 for example.... that may sound elementray but is it.... I thought that i had done it but one day I woke up and realized at some point I had again taked the notion that I was responsible for my sanity and that I could get me out and then the third step is about control... I also had taken back control... so working those two steps sometimes is a daily thing... giving up control and believing that the drug is more powerful that you... it is mental work not physical... but that is where a sponsor comes in...
I know this is all new and scary... this is exactly why most of us around for a while tell those just getting clean that the w/d that they are so worried about is the easy part... the hard part is living life clean....
as for being catholic... I really am not the best person to talk to about that.. I am no catholic... very much not.... I strongly believe that no priest can tell me how many hail maries.or our fathers to say to get absolution or what ever. .. and I can go to a God of my understanding my self without an intermediatry and pray... so.. for that you probably need other counsel....
Go to your meeting... Please listen and make at least one contact and get one phone number....
Where are you from?.... you really need to some way get a basic text or a big book...
teresachy,im from this hobunk littlr midwestern town, been here a few yrs. originally from pa. noone in my daily life share my addiction so im really looking to find someone who i" click" with, im really serious about recovery this time and am willing to do and try anything so ill see how this meeting goes and ill try and get some new "friends"and phone #s. im excited but at the same time nervous, the first step was hard, admitting a problem was hell so i can only hope the other steps go better, keep me in your prayers and ill let you know how it goes. thanks for helping me.
will do ....taking the first few steps are the hardest... sort of like the first days in a new school but as far as recovery goes there is now easier way and they are sooo worth it... start small and keep your eye on one day at a time...
Good luck and God Bless..
Teresa.
Good luck and God Bless..
Teresa.
I know what you mean (clean for about 2 months btw) being clean is the anti-high, you want to feel good about yourself for quitting, but you feel crappy from withdrawal.
