Hello everyone,
Well I have finally decided to end this hell Im in. I have been reading this forum for about 2 months now and just two days ago came clean with my husband that I have a big problem and am ready to get my life back, he is wonderful and supportive. I have planned to go cold turkey this weekend. I am wondering if the being really sick will only last maybe 3 to 4 days I realize it will take longer than that to feel totally normal but I have a job and could maybe get away with 2 days sick time. I have been popping pills since last January when we found out My mom has terminal breast cancer, I have been taking her pills, I have never left her in pain or anything but have gotten way out of control to where she confronted me about the problem. She can get alot of pills. I felt like I could deal with all of the responsibilities I now have with the pills. As you all know they give you that false sence of power and numb your feelings. I hate myself and realize I need to deal with my moms condition and prepare my self for what is going to happen without these horrible pills numbing my feelings. I have a wonderful Husband and a beautiful little girl. I told my Husband that it was so hard to watch my Mom dieing in front of my eyes but he said YOUR not dieng. That really hit Me and I knew it was time to sop this madness. I have been taking oxy con 20 mg every 12 hours pluss tons of percs i havent had any percs in about a week but have had upped the oxy to 40mg every 12 hours. Im ready for the hell and want this to be over so bad. I have tried many times to stop but couldnt handle the withdrawls mainly because I was hiding it from my husband. I am so glad I was able to find this website. Wish me luck and any advise would be greatly appreciated
Hey Booshay and welcome,
You took a couple of great first steps, admitting the problem and coming clean with your husband. It takes about a week of flu like symptoms, most people find day 3 and 4 to be the worst. Can you get someone to hide the drugs at your moms house? You have to get out of arms reach of the pills, they will just call your name.
You can do this, its a bumpy ride, but its doable.Have you thought about getting outside support? People that know what you're going through and can help and support you?
I'm glad you're here, keep posting, it really helps to know you're not alone.
Redd
Well, first let me say welcome.I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.I lost my dad to lung cancer last yr.And i have seen many people here that are dealing w/ the same thing.So, a lot more of us understand where your coming from.
Now,for the c/t w/ds.I have heard that oyxs are a bi*** to deal w/. But it can be done.Most cases is you'll feel really sick from5-7 days.After that, you'll still feel rough but better.Taking time off is a good idea.And w/ the support of your husband, you should be fine during w/ds.
Is your husband gonna help take care of you daughter?If not, is there anyone that could take her for a couple nights?There is a OTC list that will help w/ some of the w/ds.I'll try to find it.
If i can help please let me know.
DJ
Now,for the c/t w/ds.I have heard that oyxs are a bi*** to deal w/. But it can be done.Most cases is you'll feel really sick from5-7 days.After that, you'll still feel rough but better.Taking time off is a good idea.And w/ the support of your husband, you should be fine during w/ds.
Is your husband gonna help take care of you daughter?If not, is there anyone that could take her for a couple nights?There is a OTC list that will help w/ some of the w/ds.I'll try to find it.
If i can help please let me know.
DJ
Thanks for a quick response. I told my mom what was going on, she doesnt know how bad it has gotten but I did tell her I could no longer get her pills for her or to leave them at home and only bring enough for herself, there is no way I would take what she needs. Both her and my husband now know I cant be trusted around them. I am thinking of at least going to a grief councelor or cancer counceling.
I am so scared of these withdrawls what did I do to myself?
I am so scared of these withdrawls what did I do to myself?
Dear Boo First WELCOME .Listen PLEASE try not to hate yourself.Addiction takes all ya know.Im sure when you first started you didnt WANT to be addicted right?It seems like you started to take them because the mental pain of seeing your mom like this is too much.I can so understand,see my dad passed away 3 years ago from Cancer.I still dont think Ive mourned him.I was so wasted I dont really remember his funeral.BUT I came here in Nov 04 & as of Jan 05 I no longer abuse.
Anyways yes you may have a ruff road ahead of you but it can be done.Im so glad you told your husband,The support we get from home can make all the difference.I myself could not go C/T & Ill be honest I couldnt wean down.Finally my Dr put me on Suboxone.For me it works but I am going to suggest trying it C/T.I have medical problems so I truley do need some form of pain control thats another reason for the Suboxone.
Anyway my sister went to the Cancer web site when my dad was still sick & she got involved with a support group.I think its something that you really may look into.It cant be easy dealing with your addiction & watching your mom get sicker.So I feel whatever extra support you can get the better your chances to recovery.My heart does go out to you.I also know what its like to have mental pain like you must be feeling.Me Id rather hurt physically than mentally.Anyways welcome to the board as far as addiction this site has a wounderful group of people who can understand how you are feeling.If you are willing to work I have no doughts that you can do this.Hang In There....mj
Anyways yes you may have a ruff road ahead of you but it can be done.Im so glad you told your husband,The support we get from home can make all the difference.I myself could not go C/T & Ill be honest I couldnt wean down.Finally my Dr put me on Suboxone.For me it works but I am going to suggest trying it C/T.I have medical problems so I truley do need some form of pain control thats another reason for the Suboxone.
Anyway my sister went to the Cancer web site when my dad was still sick & she got involved with a support group.I think its something that you really may look into.It cant be easy dealing with your addiction & watching your mom get sicker.So I feel whatever extra support you can get the better your chances to recovery.My heart does go out to you.I also know what its like to have mental pain like you must be feeling.Me Id rather hurt physically than mentally.Anyways welcome to the board as far as addiction this site has a wounderful group of people who can understand how you are feeling.If you are willing to work I have no doughts that you can do this.Hang In There....mj
