New, And Need Encouragement....

Pain Pills
1
Hello all,
I have been taking Vicoprofen for the last six years, 10-20 pills a day for the last year. I finally got sick of the constant nightmare that these pills had created. I am also very angry at my doctor ( I have Rheumatoid Arthritis), for basically giving me all the pills that I wanted with no consideration for how it would effect me later on. I know I bare the ultimate responsibility, but it just angers to see him carry on with his life, while I just about lost mine.
I went to just about every rehab center in my area and no one would help me. Always the same story, that my doctor needed to help me. No one would understand that he was part of the problem. Finally I demanded that my primary care doctor help me. That was a mistake as well. He put me on Fetanyl to help with the withdraws symptoms. Which it did. Well 8 days later when I removed the fetanyl patch, withdraws all over again. Twice in two weeks, is there a reward for that? Anyway, its been 15 days no vikes and 7 days off the patch. I still feel tired, no appetite, depressed, still have the diarrhea, though it is getting better, and last night was the first night that I was able to sleep without taking something. When will I feel good again. I have three young kids, a hubby, job. I just want my life back.

michelle
2
Hi Michelle;

It sounds like you're well on the way to getting your life back! It does take time, as you're finding out, but you're definitley past the worst of the physical wd's. The fatigue can last for up to a month or so, depends. I would just keep on doing what you're doing right now.

Do you have any plans to deal with the mental aspect of recovery? What I mean is when we start to feel better and maybe get cravings or have thoughts like "I can control my use". It's very common.

Congrats on your clean time!
Jim
3
Thanks for the reponse. Yes, I do have the mental support. I am seeing a psychiatrist. Have tons of support from family and friends. If taking another pain pill means going through withdraws again, I will do without. I hate them, they are pure evil for me. All I want is to feel good again, you know go outside work in the garden, just be excited about something. I just want to do the things I love. I am a die hard video gamer, quilter, and a movie buff, but right now, I just feel numb. I made reservations to go boating at the lake next week. My husband and I love to fish, and this lake it where our love began. Maybe I can rediscover what those pills have taken from me.

Thanks for your words of encouragement
Michelle
4
Michelle,
Good for you!! You absolutely know what you want, you've started down the path, now you need the strength to stay on it! I'd say you are half way there! Yes, life without pills is wonderful. Actually, life on pills is not life at all. I'm sure you know what I mean. Everything becomes so clear when you are not loaded. You'll get through these withdrawls, just make sure you stay clean and keep seeing that shrink. Best of luck to you!
5
Michelle,first Welcome.Im sure youll find lots of good support here.I just need to say.....it wasnt your DR fault.Yes he prescribed but you were the one who chose to keep taking.Understand.I know because my Dr for years all I had to do is kinda let him know I needed pain relief(I have Chrons)& he'd give me whatever,But in reality Im the one that was playing the game to get what I wanted.So as easy as it can be for me to blame my DR I need to face it was me who had control or lack there of it when it came to usen
I see you love fishing too.I live for my weekends on the river.
I also see you have a good support system in place & that can make all the difference.So where are you at now?Are you tapering off or going CT? Let me know how it is going...mj