I have read a lot of the stuff on the message board and see that a lot of u all r on methadone. I've been on methadone on and off for 6 years now. But, in my family's opinion it is just as bad as me bein strung out b/c of the stigma that methadone seems to have. Granted i have f***ed up a lot on methadone i.e. doin benzos and other dope on top of my dose and i have abused the methadone. But, when i am it doing the right way i feel a sense of normalcy and stability that i have never had in my life. I go to work, pay my bills, actually live like a normal person. I recently went to detox to get off the methadone and it did not work. I feel like i will be chained to Mdone for the rest of my life. Is that normal? And how do i explain this to my family??? I just wish they understood the insane cravings that overwhelm my entire being when i do not have my methadone. They think a 7 day detox and i'm cured. Unfortunatally it does not work that way.
That thinking only becomes "normal" when you "think" that that's all there is. Sure...you could be on methadone forever if you wanted to BUT you can also live a drug-free life if that's what you want to do. It may seem impossible and the cravings may at some times seem like they are coming to life but you like every other addict has the power to break free. Methadone is only bad when you interupt it with benzos and other "extra's" that conflict with methadone maintainance. The process of recovery needs commitment, determination, will, and a bulls***- free way of thinking and dealing with life's daily struggles. Fear, doubt, and a lack of faith in self keeps us slaves to the rhythm of addiction. What do you think will happen if you keep telling yourself what you CAN'T do.....and what do you think would happen if you started telling yourself what you CAN (and WILL) do???
As for your family....they don't undferstand because they are not in your shoes. What they see as easy you see differently. Instead of trying to find a way of explaining things to your family let your actions plead your case! All the best to you!
As for your family....they don't undferstand because they are not in your shoes. What they see as easy you see differently. Instead of trying to find a way of explaining things to your family let your actions plead your case! All the best to you!
Thanks for the advice. I really try to b positive and i go to na meetings(sometimes) and i know that that is what i want. i really just dont what steps to take to get there. I also am in a relationship with an addict so that dosent help things much...but i cant imagine bein without him. i think im just absolutely terrified of the unknown. I've never really lived as a normal adult. i was hooked at15. Sometimes i think im just doomed. But when i read a lot of the stories on here it gives me inspiration. You all dont know how many struggling addicts that u help. lets us know that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. I just really wish i could get to where u all are at. just dont really know how.
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| i really just dont what steps to take to get there. |
A great place to start is by giving yourself a chance and begin to promote change in your life......a great place to start is with yourself! Commitment and all other needed qualities for recovery will follow but none of that happens until you change your behaviors.
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| I also am in a relationship with an addict so that dosent help things much...but i cant imagine bein without him. |
This is another great place to promote change also. Over a period of time two addicts in a relationship becomes nothing more than two people becoming partners in pain......all you have in common is addiction.....plain and simple! Just like you can't imagine life without him try to imagine a life of freedom from what keeps you stuck. Can you imagine a life of waking up and your first thought NOT be dope, the addict laying next to you, or the M program? Can you imagine the joy in your heart, as well as your families, being able to glow from a renewed way of living?
Fear for the longest time kept me thinking that I would just die a hopeless junkie......that I was doomed to live in the fu@k&d up world of pain that comfortably made for myself. Each day I woke up the dream of freedom began to become one big blur from all the fog around me. Even with having MANY examples put before me I still thought that getting clean was only for the chosen few and I was not one of them. I began to look forward to "the end" because that is just how much the pain began to beat me down. THEN the day came that I stopped blaming everyone else for my sh!$#% life and started claiming ownership of my bu!l$#!t. I don't know you personally at all but what i do know without even having met you is that you have every bit of power in you to bring yourself to the place you want to be. With every day of life you are given you have the chance to change.....you just have to make some serious choices and promote change in your life on a daily basis.....and keep in mind you don't have the luxury of time so either you can sit and wait for change to happen or you can make it happen. At the end of the day it all boils down to the choices we make!
hi i have been a heroin addict for 8 years 6 of them on and off treatment. i have been stable and reducing for the past 2 years with no relapse. i whent from 85mils of meth to 25 officaly i only take about 15mil. i am hoping to transfer onto subutex which is what it is called in uk i have found it helpful to have the extra on standby i subys are much easyer to reduce in my experience as i had them at one point in my recovery but swaped them back to meth. i think sub concously i wanted to be able to ues on top now and again. but not for the past two years. dont rush yourself not for nothing i believe i will be drug free in a year tops i have relapsed before so i know it will always be one day at a time look at getting your meth down to 30max and maybe transfering to subys you start on 16mil and you could get yourself down to 8-4 in a few mounths theres less of a stigma also dont blame your family for not understanding my frend as how could they possibly. ps you wont do it if you are still taking benzos or zopyclone try to cut these out you need to remember how far you have come already i think maybe your family will be less judgmentl if you try this method methadone is a wounderful treatment but its so easaly abused. oh and when the doctor tells you whats the point of changing remember he understands as much as your family you are the only expert on you good luck no matter what you do
Good advice Craze.......ive been on methadone for 8yrs.......i can identify with crynomore......i also used on top,abused my takehomes,and had a bad benzo habit.As crynmre said once she uses the methd.in the way it is prescribed.....life was so much better.....the same was true for me.......got a job am bringing up my 9yr.old daughter.....ive been clean for two years,barr a couple slips and some misuse of benzos.....all of this methadone helped me in staying focused and not running to a pill or bag of gear....when life turned rough.Craze i think yer right in the case of subs having less stigma and they have really helped alot of folks who have trouble on methadone,and as i understand it there are fewer side effects with sub than the juice.Anyway hope things work out for ya both.....take care...........Davey
Hi Crynomore, and Welcome...I second all that has already been said....and I dont think that being chained to mdone for life is a terrible horrible thing...chained we may be, but functioning as you said, responsible and having that sense of normalcy that as addicts we for most our lives have never experienced. I have been an addict since the age of 13...most of it w opiates, i just for the first time went on Methadone...ive been on it now for 7 months...i cant imagine coming off it...in fact, I dont want to, not if it means going back to where i was before i went on it...i dont much even think about it anymore...to me its a meds i get up and do every day to be healthy...ive experienced that normalcy now and its very precious to me...so no, i dont think your crazy for thinking you'll be on it for life...many people are on anti-d's and various meds for life....and its nobodies business but your own...family included...if i were you, i would get myself back on it, use it properly and get on with yourself...you dont need to have a news flash to anyone...just do it...its YOUR quality of life...not theirs...addiction is a disease...but its treatable....you have to help yourself everyday, monitor yourself everyday, have some support around you, people like here, that you can come and talk to when your feeling weak...its a life long battle...people who do not have the disease do not understand; anymore really than any other disease that people have...my neice has CF; i can only understand to a point, others w CF understand her much better...same with addicition...so welcome..:) Glad to have you with us...
Constantine
Constantine
I suppose it's different for each person. For a person who has had "success" on methadone for opiate recovery then why ruin a good thing?
If the methadone user is a younger person who could theoretically be chained to the methadone habit for many years to come, then maybe another line of therapy would be preferable. Then again, maybe not.
...and for the person who simply cannot discipline himself to use the methadone responsibly then it seems almost certain it is the wrong drug to be taking for opiate maintenance.
In my daughter's case - (she is a recovering addict re: benzos and opiates: all of them, including heroin) -- Subutex did the job of keeping the cravings for heroin at bay.
I don't believe that a one-size fits all approach can be applied. It's a matter of what works best for you: If methadone is that drug then by all means stick with it -- but use it in the manner it was intended.
If the methadone user is a younger person who could theoretically be chained to the methadone habit for many years to come, then maybe another line of therapy would be preferable. Then again, maybe not.
...and for the person who simply cannot discipline himself to use the methadone responsibly then it seems almost certain it is the wrong drug to be taking for opiate maintenance.
In my daughter's case - (she is a recovering addict re: benzos and opiates: all of them, including heroin) -- Subutex did the job of keeping the cravings for heroin at bay.
I don't believe that a one-size fits all approach can be applied. It's a matter of what works best for you: If methadone is that drug then by all means stick with it -- but use it in the manner it was intended.
