Hi, I am an alcoholic trying my dammed hardest to quit. I have found your board an absolute down to earth inspiration. I have spent many a night & morning) with a large drink in my hand trawling the net for advice on quitting. A few 'chat rooms' I have been on have been so clicky and hostile, but you guys really seem to care about each other.
I have drinking heavily for (oh my god) 20 years, I am 35 now and the abuse I've put my poor body through scares me. I have rare good days, when I can get through the day with out a drink, just, but mostly real bad days. Isn't it amazing how we can lie to ourselves to justify a drink, or sneak a drink. The horror of my boyfriend stumbling across my secret stash and hidden empties brings me out in a cold sweat. I know I in my heart I have had enough & I want my life back. I have this conversation with myself every night before I pass out about how tomorrow will be different. But tomorrow never gets here does it?
The latest one that really scares me is the day after a really heavy binge I go really 'weird' panicky, palpitations, hard to breathe, I struggle in public places & feel as if I am really going to 'lose it'. Has this happened to any one else?
So I am going to take strength from your postings & try to get to AA meetings.
Gilabat & Cactusflower, how is the pact going?
Any advice is greatly welcomed.
Thanks
Hi New and Hopeful.... meet another.
I'm a bit older than you (44), so I guess it means I've been drinking longer (and abusing my poor liver as a result). Mostly it seems that one bottle of wine a night is an ok social thing to do - I never seem to get a'drunk' reaction, though I am sure I get less lucid.
Each morning I wake up and think, oh tonight will be different, I won't stop for a bottle on the way home, today I am really going to change, but by 7pm on the wayhome from work, that one glass of white, just to relax seems so tempting, and I always give in.
This morning I poured what was left in the bottle down the sink - determined to stick to my plan. I am not sure how I will persuade myself not to but another tonight... perhaps we can inspire each other ?
I'm a bit older than you (44), so I guess it means I've been drinking longer (and abusing my poor liver as a result). Mostly it seems that one bottle of wine a night is an ok social thing to do - I never seem to get a'drunk' reaction, though I am sure I get less lucid.
Each morning I wake up and think, oh tonight will be different, I won't stop for a bottle on the way home, today I am really going to change, but by 7pm on the wayhome from work, that one glass of white, just to relax seems so tempting, and I always give in.
This morning I poured what was left in the bottle down the sink - determined to stick to my plan. I am not sure how I will persuade myself not to but another tonight... perhaps we can inspire each other ?
Hi Ya'll... i am an addict/alcoholic. I am in recovery and have been for a year... i can honestly say that you do not know what living is until you become sober. It is well worth it. Alcohol wd's can be very dangerous... have you considered going to a professional detox center?
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Yep, done it so many times, poured the remainder down the sink feeling quite triumphant, only to be heading to the shop later.
Why is that you are able to be so strong mentally, then before you know you have been out, brought drink and are holding it in your hand, its like automatic pilot...
I would love to try do this together, I know it really has to stop. It has been out of control for too many scary years. It would help so much to know that some one really knows how I feel. My boyfriend rarely drinks (thank god) so has no idea how totally consuming this is.
I am in Devon, where abouts are you in the UK?
Bri711, I have considered detox, I am going to go to AA and give that a real good go first. I am self employed so I would really find it hard to take time out. But if I have to, then I will.
Why is that you are able to be so strong mentally, then before you know you have been out, brought drink and are holding it in your hand, its like automatic pilot...
I would love to try do this together, I know it really has to stop. It has been out of control for too many scary years. It would help so much to know that some one really knows how I feel. My boyfriend rarely drinks (thank god) so has no idea how totally consuming this is.
I am in Devon, where abouts are you in the UK?
Bri711, I have considered detox, I am going to go to AA and give that a real good go first. I am self employed so I would really find it hard to take time out. But if I have to, then I will.
November... i understand about waiting to detox only if you have to bc of your job... have you considered discussing alcohol wd's with your dr? Maybe he could prescribe you something such as librium for the wd's...
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Thankfully I have cut recently in the last few years as my new man is practically tea total. So I have one or two days in the week when I dont drink and I feel a bit cr*p but not too bad. The thing I hate most is the cravings for drink and being able to think about nothing else!
I have managed to go 4 days without drinking recently and was 'ok'. When does the dt's kick in??
I have managed to go 4 days without drinking recently and was 'ok'. When does the dt's kick in??
Wow... I wish i could tell you about that... i have never gone thru them myself. I am an alcoholic... but fortunately never had to go thru those wd's... i have only been thru opiate wd's. Someone on here will come along with more info on that...
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
My experience is that delirium tremors, sweats, shaking and all the rest go that go with alcohol wds start about the next day after the last drink...but that was for me because I was drinking pretty much round the clock at the end. I was under medical supervision (outpatient) for 8 days after my last drink & was prescribed Librium for that time period in order to stop the panic & anxiety attacks that also occurred. I had my last binge on Friday morning, but my last several beers were the next day on a Saturday...because I was possibly going to seize ~ so it was suggested I drink a bit more until I get to the Doctor. So, if you haven't experienced any of this yet you probably won't...not sure how much you were drinking but I was drinking about a 12 pack of beer a day, at least a couple bottles wine, throw some martinis in there plus add cocaine in to be able to drink more...so I had a rough go of it for several months...I actually didn't start to feel good until about 18 months into my sobriety. I also go to AA, it saved my life!
VWgirl, thanks for taking time to reply & to reassure me on the dt's. On a real bad day its a bottle of Vodka plus a bottle of wine, and boy do I pay for it the next day..
I am an absolute binger, can just about get through a few days dry, but the second a drink passes my lips, there is no going back. Its quite ironic, my boyfriend can have two drinks then switch to soft drinks for the rest of the night. I wish. All of my friends are monster drinkers, and none of them think they have a problem. It is so hard as we are so set in rut. Although the good news is we have moved 300 miles for a fresh start, hence also the ability to cut back...(on good days).
You mentioned the panic and anxiety attacks, these have been a new thing for me, only in the last couple of months. They are bl**dy awful. The first one was full blown after a monster weekend blow out, and I can honestly say I thought I was dying! I have read up quite a bit on alcoholism, & I had never seen them mentioned, so it freaked me out completely when it happened. I have good days & bad days.
I am definitely going to continue to 'chat' on this site, and hearing from you & Bri711 is giving me great courage to get my but to AA. As I know it really is the only option before I hit rock bottom. Thanks again for the support
I am definately going to AA tomorrow. Enough is enough. I really want my life back. Life really sucks drunk and I have too much to loose.
Thanks so much xx
Thanks so much xx
November, Glad to see you post again and that you'll be checking out an AA meeting. Try to go with an open mind and willingness, and remember you don't have to hit rock bottom to achieve sobriety. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I'll tell you what though, I've never experienced the peace and serenity that I have now in my life...I tried everything before to get "well" and nothing worked like the Program. I tried Hinduism, Mormonism, Catholicism, Christianity, Rationale Recovery, EST, Women for Sobriety, MM, on and on I could go...nothing has given me the quality of life that I now enjoy but AA. I didn't let go absolutely though until I was 44 years old (I am coming up on two years of sobriety); I was intro'd to the Program when I was 23 years old by my Sister and just couldn't get it...but it took what it took and I hope you get it...you sound ready. Remember nothing changes if nothing changes and you never have to feel the way you do right now again! Keep posting! Oh, btw, the panic and anxiety attacks I think are common to alcoholics...not sure though, however they will very commonplace for me. In fact, one attack comes to mind when I was about 4 months sober, waiting for my ex-Husband to bring my daughters over for a visit and I just couldn't do it...I just couldn't get past the anxiety and panic in order to visit with my daughters, so I had to call off the visit! I then just sat in the pitch darkness until I finally fell asleep, geez, I don't even know how long I sat there...my Sponsor kept telling me "it will get better, just sit thru it..." - I didn't believe her, but she told if I could just believe that she believed it would be alright, than maybe that would help...maybe if you believe that I believe for you...not sure if this makes sense.
