New Beginning

Pain Pills
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Perhaps no big epiphany...but I spent a lot of time thinking about what the last 7 weeks has been for me(pain) and what it has taught me....1.Regardless of the situation, be it physical or mental, my first reaction is to seek immediate relief(addict behavior) 2. Whether or not I use pain medication legitimately or not, the end results are usually the same(physical dependence,depression, eventually, self-hatred) 3. In not having to deal with the source of the problem(numbing the pain), no further pursuits toward better living, coping skills, natural remedies are really explored...Having said all this..was it my fault that I suffered so much? The fact that I still have pain?No..Do I have a legitimate reason for pills...yes. But I am still an addict... and being an addict, one cannot realistically make rational decisions about the use of narcotics....and that scares me...how do I know that my mind is not making my pain worse in order to justify drug use..the pain is real...however..there is a strong link between mind and body...if you tell yourself you cannot cope, then surely you can not. I guess my point is that we must all recognize the magnificent power in each of us to transform our lives.We are the only thinkers in our heads...I. for one, would like to regain control of my life.I am sick and tired of giving my "illness" so much power.Be it Lupus, or addiction...we are as helpless as we perceive. So today is a new beginning for me..I even lost the blonde hair last night(red head) I want to live out the rest of my time on earth on my terms....God bless you all......love. Sharonn
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Dear Sharonn I just want to tell you that I think you are a beautiful person.For you to look at yourself & really dig deep the way that post sounded took guts.How many of us can really do that?Good Luck Sharonn with your new life on your own terms.Please know if I can be of any help alng the way I will....mj
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Dear Sharonn:

I'll back you in whatever you choose - just let me know what I can do to help.

Love you,
Jean