Hello my girlfriend of 14 years has been using Meth. I notice her mood swings are very severe and I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Her using caused her to cheat on me because the guy who got her hooked gave her too much and she couldn't control herself if I am understanding it correctly.
We have big relationship issues and I am to blame for many of the issues but I find its much harder to deal with them when she is using.
I feel like I am using this as an excuse and I also wonder if I am doing enough to get her off of it. I called a hot line but they couldn't say much and I found meetings she could go to.
On Sunday she kicked me out so I'm staying at my brother's but she constantly wants to text and talk about the relationship. I just need a break, is that selfish?
You are not being selfish at all, you need a break..as long as it may be. As far as her cheating, she got high, she made those decisions. I know it may be easier for you to blame the guy, but unless he injected her against her will, SHE'S doing this s***, she WANTS to get high. I know when I was using meth, I wouldn't have passed up another line, another hit 'in fear of getting too high' if that makes sense, I'm just saying hold her accountable for her actions. How long has she been using? (Or told you) Try not to beat yourself up trying to figure out if you have done enough to help her..she needs to want help first. I'm sure you have verbalized wanting that for her. It's her actions that will tell you if she wants it and is ready, hopefully that time comes..and then be supportive. In meantime take care of you so you don't go crazy..
Thank you. She said he put it in her drink without knowing and was basically raped. But then again she still sees him occasionally to get more.
I was thinking of going to al-anon or nar-anon as they person on the phone suggested.
I really want to go back to her and work things out but I don't know what chance we have with her using. Once again I don't want to use her drug use as an excuse to not work on myself. My brother is very supportive of me staying away from what he says is a toxic relationship. I haven't told him or anyone except her adult kids. Two 26 and 24 who live at home.
She says I should do more to help her but I don't know what else to do aside from the meetings.
I was thinking of going to al-anon or nar-anon as they person on the phone suggested.
I really want to go back to her and work things out but I don't know what chance we have with her using. Once again I don't want to use her drug use as an excuse to not work on myself. My brother is very supportive of me staying away from what he says is a toxic relationship. I haven't told him or anyone except her adult kids. Two 26 and 24 who live at home.
She says I should do more to help her but I don't know what else to do aside from the meetings.
yes, alanon/naranon would probably be a very good thing. As far as her wanting you to help her more, you've suggested meetings..sounds like she is putting all this blame on you which is extremely common in addition. Shame being displaced with anger (towards you) Even when we know that, it's still hard not to second guess things. it's good you realize you have things you need to work on and good you have your brother for support. (Even if he doesn't know exact situation?) has she used throughout relationship or is this recent? Just wondering how far deep she's in. Chances are if you go back/stay her drug use will continue..it may if you leave also, but from what I've seen is if you step back the chances are greater in the other getting clean.
