Hi there. There's been an issue in my family as of the last 6 months or so with my twin 15 year old nieces. One ended up pregnant, and is due in a couple weeks, however, she managed to turn her life around for the sake of this baby and is completely clean. The other one, unfortunately is spiraling fast. It started with "occasional" marijuana use, has progressed into a daily habit, along with suspected cocaine and speed use recently. We are a very close family, so this is hitting us all very hard. She has herself absolutely convinced she's not addicted and "can quit any time". What really scares us is the way she aquires these drugs. When you're a girl with no income and a serious addiction, there's only a couple methods of payment. AIDS is such a rampant disease and that thought scares the hell out of me. I understand that she isn't going to end this until she hits bottom. But she's going to hit hard. We've tried intervention, but I think it's only making it worse. I'm basically here, because she is killing herself, and whether she realises it or not, the rest of her family. If anyone has any insight about steps I can take in pointing her in the right direction, it would be greatly appreciated. If you made it through this entire vent, thank you for your time.
CU, I wish there was something I could say that would offer you a pat solution on this one. I have a niece who started along a similar path at age 14. She has had numerous brushes with the law, but was extremely accomplished at manipulating the courts, the treatment centers and her parents, all to the end of her doing what she wanted when she wanted. She is now 20 or 21 and heavily addicted to opiates. She disappeared 6 months ago and we do not know if she is alive or dead. We do know that she lacks the discipline, education, and work ethic to hold an honest job for more than about a week (her record) and that only leaves a few avenues available for her to support herself and that gorilla on her back.
I have been involved in the recovery community for a number of years and tried to convey to her parents the nature of the enemy they faced. Unfortunately, at every turn, they allowed their own sense of guilt to be manipulated against them an in favor of granting my niece her freedom. At one point, they had her in a home for wayward teens that had an excellent track record of instilling discipline and self respect, and I thought she might pull through. Her parents caved and granted her early release. 6 months later she reached the age of majority and was beyond the reach of her parents. Since then, they have washed their hands of her. Hers will not be an easy life, nor a very long one, I suspect.
As a recovering addict, I am helpless to tell you how to address this problem. My instinct is to incarcerate them in some kind of treatment program and force feed them recovery, but I honestly do not know if this works. I know of lots of teens that return to thier old habits within days of being released from long term treatment.
I attended some al anon meetings and asked the kinds of questions you are asking and was basically instructed to work a first step on the problem. At a miminum, I would urge you to attend some al anon meetings and learn a little bit about this from the perspective of the loved one.
Others have much more insight into this side of the addiction equation than do I, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that I share your deep concern for your niece and hope that she sees the light before it is too late.
All the best,
August
I have been involved in the recovery community for a number of years and tried to convey to her parents the nature of the enemy they faced. Unfortunately, at every turn, they allowed their own sense of guilt to be manipulated against them an in favor of granting my niece her freedom. At one point, they had her in a home for wayward teens that had an excellent track record of instilling discipline and self respect, and I thought she might pull through. Her parents caved and granted her early release. 6 months later she reached the age of majority and was beyond the reach of her parents. Since then, they have washed their hands of her. Hers will not be an easy life, nor a very long one, I suspect.
As a recovering addict, I am helpless to tell you how to address this problem. My instinct is to incarcerate them in some kind of treatment program and force feed them recovery, but I honestly do not know if this works. I know of lots of teens that return to thier old habits within days of being released from long term treatment.
I attended some al anon meetings and asked the kinds of questions you are asking and was basically instructed to work a first step on the problem. At a miminum, I would urge you to attend some al anon meetings and learn a little bit about this from the perspective of the loved one.
Others have much more insight into this side of the addiction equation than do I, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that I share your deep concern for your niece and hope that she sees the light before it is too late.
All the best,
August