My son 22 has been in 28 day rehabs twice for weed and in these rehabs he got hold of herion although he told me that is one druig that u don't use otherwise u r doomed u will never come out of and yet he tried it.
He has now told me that he will make it if he stays in a one year rehab program on a farm
HE hAs been there For 3 weeks wheen I read all the blogs I'm like what is the changes of making it for 3 months never mind 1 year and then how long will he stay clean after that. According to facts and live experiences never. IT scares me as he has a 4 year old daughter that's askin questions
Will she snd her 1 year old sister. Every see there daddy "better"
The reality make me believe that my talented writer son will never be able to live his dream and be with his fiance and kids
Plse let me know it is a scary thought although he iis getting help he may never be free
Al I have is my faith as life give u no guarentees the bible says although the odds r againts us everything is possible throuigh our Lord Jesus Christ
Priscilla
| QUOTE |
| and in these rehabs he got hold of herion |
Priscilla, no disrespect intended but you seem absolutely fixated on the idea that he picked up this habit in rehab. It may or may not be true, he may have said that but been a heroin addixct going in...why do you need so badly to believe this? Can you not imagine that he did this to himself and let him accept responsibility for his addiction instead of blaming it on the rehab? What difference can it possibly make at this point? He's an addict and it doesn't matter a bit how he got there, except that I doubt anyone tied him up and forced him to use...he did that all by himself, made that choice himself.
| QUOTE |
| although he told me that is one drug that u don't use otherwise u r doomed u will never come out of and yet he tried it. |
That's what they all say just before or right after they've done it...no joke...they act like that's some sort of standard, the line they won't cross, but it's another lie. My daughter said that about cocaine, and then again about heroin...it was like the "tell" in a poker game, the thing that gave her away...saying it meant she was gearing up to do exactly the thing she knew would be her doom.
As for the rest, are you asking should you pay for another year of rehab that may put you in the poorhouse? Only you can decide that, but it seems like a lot for an adult man with children to ask of his mother...why can't he figure this out on his own?
Sometimes they get better, sometimes they don't...there is a high relapse rate among opiate users, but it's by no means impossible to stay clean, lots of people can attest to it.
Peace ~ MomNMore
P...everything M&M said is right...she knows what shes talking about...look,i know its scary...its scary for everyone...and yes, he can get clean...but he is never going to get "well" the way you think 'well" is...and its got nothiing to do with if its heroin or coke or weed...the name of the drug or drink isnt what makes him an addict...and being an addict means its never going to disappear if thats what your thinking....my wife wishes everyday probably it would just go away and never come back..me too, beleive me....but the truth is, its always there and it never gets completley "cured", it can go into a kind of remission, but its never completly gone, its not cured like the way your thinking or wanting it to be...and P ...dont forget "God helps those that help themselves"...like the guy who kept asking God to let him win the lottery until God finally said, I would, if you would go buy a ticket...its his fight P, your sons...let him fight it ...my wife learned a long long time ago the best thing she can do is to get out of my way and let me fight it ...I cant fight it with my hands tied one to her and one to me...I need both hands...you have to get out of his way and give him room to fight...
Hugs
Con
Hugs
Con
yep, a tell, j would always say "i love you momma" then i knew he was going out to score and shoot up...everytime..and everytime he came home from a rehab, jail, the hospital it was always the same "I will never do that again, relapsing is normal, but im done using" ok now i know what that means..watch out mom, im going to steal ya blind and shoot sh** into my arms and possibly die this time...well it is what it is..and it is my son the heroin addict, will this time be different? dont know, but im done funding his using, done funding his cleanup time, he is a man that has produced a child, that he doesnt take care of, i do...let me be clear, i love my son, if my actions could make him clean i would spend my last dime and breath doing it, but my actions have done nothing but prolong the agony for our very sick family...i pray he stays clean, gets a job and wakes up on the right side of the grass, but i am no longer betting my life and last dime on it..doesnt mean i dont "love him to death"
and that too P...sometimes we dont want to fight...and thats also up to us...its got to be his descsion on every level...and you still got to get out of his way and let him get on with it...
con
con
Hi
Thank u for year replies but r u all addicts or jiust year kids
I would actually like to here from young drug addicts and not the parents otherwise I would have gone on the parents for. Addicts site
Anyway I know there is no gaurentee but my husband and I believe our circuimstances is different my son waas protected by us because of his mental state and never given the oppurtiunity to find himself and proof himself
We have decided that we will goive him the year tpo find himself and then after that if he does or doesn't he is on his own
Neverg upmom
Thank u for year replies but r u all addicts or jiust year kids
I would actually like to here from young drug addicts and not the parents otherwise I would have gone on the parents for. Addicts site
Anyway I know there is no gaurentee but my husband and I believe our circuimstances is different my son waas protected by us because of his mental state and never given the oppurtiunity to find himself and proof himself
We have decided that we will goive him the year tpo find himself and then after that if he does or doesn't he is on his own
Neverg upmom
It doesn't matter the point of view, everyone will tell you the same thing, that there is always hope, that they can and will find their way in time...allow him to because he is capable of learning...and the younger they get it, the better it is for them.
And your family is no different than any other, many have sheltered and took over running their children's lives...he is not unique, not in this way, neither is the way you raised him.
This business of learning about heroin in rehab, that doesn't matter the fact is something in him choose to use, he was able to dismiss it all and take on heroin, like many before him. For whatever the reason, and they are all his, he will still in the end be the only one who can save him...who can work out his whys....allow him to care enough to do as such.
And your family is no different than any other, many have sheltered and took over running their children's lives...he is not unique, not in this way, neither is the way you raised him.
This business of learning about heroin in rehab, that doesn't matter the fact is something in him choose to use, he was able to dismiss it all and take on heroin, like many before him. For whatever the reason, and they are all his, he will still in the end be the only one who can save him...who can work out his whys....allow him to care enough to do as such.
Heres some good news- - -He is only 22-yrs old. He hasnt had a 10-20 yr habit filled with arrests, and a life style that can be just a addicting as dope.
He isnt just going for 28 days and comin back to the scene. He will be removed from the life of a using, running, addict for at least a year if all goes well. That young impressional age , is the best time to to be in a theropedic community. He will learn all the right ways to live without opiates-
Now heres the concerning news- -
Its always "ALL Good " in those places because your living with others with the same issues in a bubble. The hardest part is the first few weeks he comes out. He,ll probably have a network of support set up for him by the community.
He HAS to follow thru* * Sometimes being 22 works against you because you think you,re young enough bounce back from another run- -so you see> following up with some kind of support group or counseling is essential >
Getting clean is one thing> Staying clean is a whole other thing
Bestregards
jack
He isnt just going for 28 days and comin back to the scene. He will be removed from the life of a using, running, addict for at least a year if all goes well. That young impressional age , is the best time to to be in a theropedic community. He will learn all the right ways to live without opiates-
Now heres the concerning news- -
Its always "ALL Good " in those places because your living with others with the same issues in a bubble. The hardest part is the first few weeks he comes out. He,ll probably have a network of support set up for him by the community.
He HAS to follow thru* * Sometimes being 22 works against you because you think you,re young enough bounce back from another run- -so you see> following up with some kind of support group or counseling is essential >
Getting clean is one thing> Staying clean is a whole other thing
Bestregards
jack
Hi misty eyes and jack thank u for your. Reply it is exactly whAt I needed to here especially what u said jaqck I know there is no guarentees but my husband and I believe because he is still 22 we need to at least. Still try I know after that there is a big problem because he is somebody that cannot cope with everyday life and like to live in a protected enviroment biut he can't anyymore and al I can hope is that he will get the lifeskills to help him to cope outside other wise there is no more hope
Thank u God bless
Priscilla
Thank u God bless
Priscilla
Spot on as always Jack buddy,,
but my chip in here is whadda ye have without hope,,,i,ve never gave up hope,,,,Eck
but my chip in here is whadda ye have without hope,,,i,ve never gave up hope,,,,Eck
Many of the parents here have had addiction issues of their own, but like mistyeyes said, it doesn't matter...there's nothing new or special about your circumstances, there have been tons of parents just like you and tons of kids just like yours, here and everywhere...I even told you our story which imirrors your own pretty closely. The "unique" factor is just another protection we hide behind.
Jack, you make an excellent point about the "bubble" community...as you know my girl went to long term rehab for 16 months and came out and got herself arrested for drunk driving within three weeks after being clean and sober for 18 months, almost to the day. They are still who they are and being back on the outside is a little too real at first.
Peace people ~ M&M
Jack, you make an excellent point about the "bubble" community...as you know my girl went to long term rehab for 16 months and came out and got herself arrested for drunk driving within three weeks after being clean and sober for 18 months, almost to the day. They are still who they are and being back on the outside is a little too real at first.
Peace people ~ M&M
Hi eckie
I know thE reality of all this thAt my son is going to end up relapsing all the time
But like u say hpoe is all I got and prayer.
Momnmore I understand u talking out of experience and I understand your pain and dissapointment but
It is still worth the try u said your dAughter came right on her own but I believe every bit of help u gave her made her a bit stronger even if she kept on relapsing
I have to build the foundation and my child have to buld his house
There is something I forgot to mention altough my son is 22 in medicAl terms he is only 18 after his aCcident we were told that his emotional side of his brain is 4 yrs behind. That's why we are giving him a last push and help into the lifE and hope he will make it
My prayers r with all off u
I know thE reality of all this thAt my son is going to end up relapsing all the time
But like u say hpoe is all I got and prayer.
Momnmore I understand u talking out of experience and I understand your pain and dissapointment but
It is still worth the try u said your dAughter came right on her own but I believe every bit of help u gave her made her a bit stronger even if she kept on relapsing
I have to build the foundation and my child have to buld his house
There is something I forgot to mention altough my son is 22 in medicAl terms he is only 18 after his aCcident we were told that his emotional side of his brain is 4 yrs behind. That's why we are giving him a last push and help into the lifE and hope he will make it
My prayers r with all off u
hope is all any of us have on both sides...but hope sure can differ ...i could be hoping a nice bag falls into my path while my partner is hoping i stay clean...there is no bad in hoping...right ? doesnt mean its going to happen...all i know is when someone starts forcing their hopes on me, i tend to get stubborn and want what im hoping for more...i dont know..just sayin...i mean...how many times did i do rehab and not a darn thing i learned until i was ready to learn it...doubt i remembered anything until that moment when it became MY hope to do something about it...
Priscilla, you seem to find endless reasons why your sons case is unique. Be careful you dont give him an excuse to be terminally unique. Lots of the addicts here have stories of trauma, abuse, medical issues, mental issues.
Until your son can take his own journey, whatever that will be, little will change.
We know as addicts that our road will end in jail, institutions or death, unless we address the disease and halt its progress.
But only we can do that.
I dont disagree with you agreeing to keeping him in rehab for a year, if that is his choice. But make sure he is allowed to explore the consequences of his choices - whatever they may be.
Until your son can take his own journey, whatever that will be, little will change.
We know as addicts that our road will end in jail, institutions or death, unless we address the disease and halt its progress.
But only we can do that.
I dont disagree with you agreeing to keeping him in rehab for a year, if that is his choice. But make sure he is allowed to explore the consequences of his choices - whatever they may be.
Only a mother's love, right? Miss Priscilla absolutely listen to Jack. That was an excellent post. Also Con as well as you can tell she's a dear person, but she will tell you the truth.
Ironic, right Con? Us ever telling the truth?
Miss P that's just some addict humor as we all seem to be natural born liars when we are using drugs. However, like your son we weren't raised up to lie in the faces of our mom's and lovers and brothers, and friends. Heroin does that.
Miss P absolutely I understand you, BUT if you can find it in yourself to just let it be his. Let this all be his without the accident and why you and your husband will wait and see. That's enabeling him. You do not have to give up of course not. Not ever, but Miss P if you let him know you love him, but won't tolerate the drugs he'll have a better hance.
If you were my mom and I went away for a year and you came to visit and wrote and sent packages and prayed and called me and in all that I had one little glimmer that you're weak in that as my mom used to say "he has this LITTLE problem" well geez the entire time I was in that camp/farm I'd have my mind on the day I got out of there so I could go score heroin.
True thing.
Are you also kind of thinking you did not bring him up like that sooooooooo he is different? Different than all of us heroin addicts?
Miss P, we are your Doctor's, Lawyers, Nurses, Journalists, we've got Masters degrees, and PHD's, and we teach and sing and play music professionally. Now, mind ya that isn't me, but I am the daughter of a police officer and a caring concerned mother, and some of us had no mother, and some of us had no education. We travel, we build ships, and helicopters, and we're dancers. Our parents are prestigious and taught us right from wrong and yet some of our drug bussies never had a morale lesson in their life.
Heroin does not discriminate. Sadly, so sadly it got ahol of your son. I am sorry, but there is hope. Jack gave you the outlook.
Raising my hand to say I too am a heroin addict who has been off drugs for many years now. Yes, relapse was part of my other rehabs, but this time there was none.
Praying that too will happen for your son. Just let him know you care, but in no way will enable him.
Hoping you find peace. You're a good Mama. Oh and we're all crazy ladies around here us women so join us.
Ironic, right Con? Us ever telling the truth?
Miss P that's just some addict humor as we all seem to be natural born liars when we are using drugs. However, like your son we weren't raised up to lie in the faces of our mom's and lovers and brothers, and friends. Heroin does that.
Miss P absolutely I understand you, BUT if you can find it in yourself to just let it be his. Let this all be his without the accident and why you and your husband will wait and see. That's enabeling him. You do not have to give up of course not. Not ever, but Miss P if you let him know you love him, but won't tolerate the drugs he'll have a better hance.
If you were my mom and I went away for a year and you came to visit and wrote and sent packages and prayed and called me and in all that I had one little glimmer that you're weak in that as my mom used to say "he has this LITTLE problem" well geez the entire time I was in that camp/farm I'd have my mind on the day I got out of there so I could go score heroin.
True thing.
Are you also kind of thinking you did not bring him up like that sooooooooo he is different? Different than all of us heroin addicts?
Miss P, we are your Doctor's, Lawyers, Nurses, Journalists, we've got Masters degrees, and PHD's, and we teach and sing and play music professionally. Now, mind ya that isn't me, but I am the daughter of a police officer and a caring concerned mother, and some of us had no mother, and some of us had no education. We travel, we build ships, and helicopters, and we're dancers. Our parents are prestigious and taught us right from wrong and yet some of our drug bussies never had a morale lesson in their life.
Heroin does not discriminate. Sadly, so sadly it got ahol of your son. I am sorry, but there is hope. Jack gave you the outlook.
Raising my hand to say I too am a heroin addict who has been off drugs for many years now. Yes, relapse was part of my other rehabs, but this time there was none.
Praying that too will happen for your son. Just let him know you care, but in no way will enable him.
Hoping you find peace. You're a good Mama. Oh and we're all crazy ladies around here us women so join us.
Hi everyone
I appologise if. I made some of yor hairs stand up but I mend no disrespect
I am trying to explain why iam doing what iam doing for my son specially because of what jack say he is a new addict and he is still young my son knows thst I love him very much but I will not tolerate him using us any more for excuses for what happen to him and I told him that yes adog bit your head open causing alpt of problems which we gave solutions for but his choice of using drugs to still the pain and causing everyone else to hurt is not our problem and he had 2 changes in short term rehab which was his choice as I have always given him the choice and neveer chose for him although I always had to pick up the pieces. This is the last choice he is makoing with our help after that his on his own with our love of course
Lots of thanks and love to every body
Crazy p
I appologise if. I made some of yor hairs stand up but I mend no disrespect
I am trying to explain why iam doing what iam doing for my son specially because of what jack say he is a new addict and he is still young my son knows thst I love him very much but I will not tolerate him using us any more for excuses for what happen to him and I told him that yes adog bit your head open causing alpt of problems which we gave solutions for but his choice of using drugs to still the pain and causing everyone else to hurt is not our problem and he had 2 changes in short term rehab which was his choice as I have always given him the choice and neveer chose for him although I always had to pick up the pieces. This is the last choice he is makoing with our help after that his on his own with our love of course
Lots of thanks and love to every body
Crazy p
Crazy P
Love it.
Now you're talking Ma. Respect to you.
Calabash posted an excellent message for you.
Love it.
Now you're talking Ma. Respect to you.
Calabash posted an excellent message for you.
hey P. it seems like a natural survival of the fittest..i came here thinking the same as you, looking for answers and "help" and now i think i have evolved a bit, i understand things i never thought i would have to know or deal with..theft, drugs, jail,rehabs, hep c...god list goes on and on but i keep going because im not ready to give up or admit defeat, you hang in there too
False
Hey Mark =)
No fair doing drive-bys...how's it going?
No fair doing drive-bys...how's it going?
