none.
I read your reply under the thread of husband addicted .... and I am puzzled... while I sort of understood BA ( I say sort of because I think that his answer was coming from being new and not yet understanding all the intimate levels of addictions )and I definately understood bob... I dont get your response....
When I was told that addiction was a disease ... I was not relieved ... I was not happy... i didnt not feel vendicated that i have an exuse for what i had done... I didnt and I dont think that it is a reason to give my self any forgiveness or any body else to give me forgiveness. The only automatic forgiveness that I get is from my Higher Power and the rest of the forgiveness I get is up to the one giving it and I feel much better by earning it in the form of trust, respect and honesty. If I forgive myself it is because I think it is time to forgive myself and move forward not stay stagnant and if someone else forgives me then maybe they forgave me cause they saw in me something worth forgiving.. but whatever the reason the mere fact that this is a disease proven by medical uncontraverted evidence recongnized by not only our US medical communitiy but Medical communities the world over does not mean that I was given free reign to say to my family well you took second place because I have a disease.
And on that note. I never put my family second to my drugs. There were times that I risk as you say my kid and my job ect for my drug but as I was putting the pills in my mouth I knew no way to control it. I cried as my hand was going to my mouth but still had no control. That was the chemical disease part. Just like an alcoholic is under the INFLUENCE so is the addict .. once we are clean and in control/clean we can take steps to put things first. But under that chemical we are not responsible to make choices or prioritize. That is why a drunk hands the keys before he starts drinking ... he cant be trusted to do it after. But it is unfair, hurtful, and serves no good purpose to say that the addict choices his drug over his family. That is like comparing apples to oranges. And to further imply that some of us (granted some might..) use the disease model of addiction as exuse as a 'get out of jail free' card with our families isnt fair either.
I must take exception to your line of reasoning.
Btw.. what is your story .. I would be interested in hearing it... my memory is bad and I think sometimes we have things in common then sometimes that we really dont... Just wondering..
Said in honest attempt to have understanding.
Teresa
Not really sure what you're question is, Teresa. I think we probably disagree about what we are accountable and responsible for while using. I can live with our disagreement. I was identifying with BA in that post.
