Hi none. How is your little girl doing? I would recommend an alateen, but on second thought, if I was taken there, at her age, and the kids were on the fence, I myself might not have been the best example.
Anyway, let us know how she (and yourself) are managing.....
Peace to you,
Kerry
She's doing better, LB. Thanks for asking. She has felt absolutely devastated by it -- feels like she's ruined her reputation with friends, parents and teachers; ruined her chances for college; etc., etc. She's a straight A student, 3-sport varsity athlete, and took pride in her rep. It's probably the first real adversity she is facing in her life. . . a spectacular hospitalization and school suspension. . . . because of an incredibly stupid decision to drink vodka at a school dance. It was the fourth time she'd touched alcohol, first time hard liquor (by her own account, and also corroborated by an independent source -- just in case we parents have blinders on, lol). I'm taking it plenty seriously, but I don't think Alateen is in the cards yet.
I have a lot of faith in her. I think this experience -- as bad as it seems right now -- will end up being a touchstone of growth for her. After we were through ringing her neck (figuratively, of course), my/our approach has been to help her mature from this rather than be defined by it. Some good things have already come from it. She and I have gotten closer....had some good, probably long overdue, talks about my own experiences with alcohol, why I quit before she was 2 years old, letting her know that there have been some self-induced low points in my life as well. I hope its made me more approachable, and maybe made her feel less alone in all this. The whole thing kind of tests you as a parent, but it's all good in the end I think. I'm so grateful that I'm present for her, clean and sober, making mistakes but doing my best. She's really an incredible daughter, and she's becoming a really compassionate and insightful young adult. I'm very lucky, in more ways than one. Thanks for asking Kerry. M.
I have a lot of faith in her. I think this experience -- as bad as it seems right now -- will end up being a touchstone of growth for her. After we were through ringing her neck (figuratively, of course), my/our approach has been to help her mature from this rather than be defined by it. Some good things have already come from it. She and I have gotten closer....had some good, probably long overdue, talks about my own experiences with alcohol, why I quit before she was 2 years old, letting her know that there have been some self-induced low points in my life as well. I hope its made me more approachable, and maybe made her feel less alone in all this. The whole thing kind of tests you as a parent, but it's all good in the end I think. I'm so grateful that I'm present for her, clean and sober, making mistakes but doing my best. She's really an incredible daughter, and she's becoming a really compassionate and insightful young adult. I'm very lucky, in more ways than one. Thanks for asking Kerry. M.
Dear None I know how you feel REALLY.My 16 yr old(yes the driver)at the age of 15 this past summer before she even was 16 Miss hot stuff thought she was miss thing and her and her boyfriend decided to drink down some kind of whiskey.She never did tell me who got it for her.Well miss hot s*** and her boyfriend were so trashed that I got a phone call from some stranger at a diner here that I needed to get up there that my daughter was in trouble.I didn't know what happened he wouldn't tell me so my first thought was she got hit by a car.Well I got up there her boyfriend was laying face down in his puke and someone called an ambulance(the same place I use to work)and when I tell you she was out of it well outer limits doesn't even come close.I went to the hospital in the ambulance with them as being I knew the guys working on her.I kept myself together all nite until finally she was reliesed at 1 am.When we got home I just cried and cried and my daughter seen the pain she put me through.Well that was 6mths ago My daughter made the choice for herself NOT to follow mine or her screwed up fathers exampals.She has become a very responasble teen.Her boyfriends parents made her boyfriend go to therapy and to AA meetingds(as his parents are BOTH recovering forthe last15yrs or so.The cut and dry is my daughter desided to go to meetings go to cousiling.I'm not going to say I am totally ok with what she did.From seeing me and my problems she shouls of known better.I guess what I'm really trying to say is for some teens that 1 time they mess up is the time they needed to rethink their lifes.I wish you all the best with your daughter and if I can help please tell me.....mollyjean
Mollyjean, thanks for sharing your similar experience -- I'm really glad your daughter is doing so well now. A message of hope....I like that. M.
I'll tell you I've never been as broken hearted as I was when I saw her like that.I am so proud of her now she is really doing great.I hope it turns out for you also....mollyjean
None, you are a great example of a parent. Just let her know that it will get better. She hasn't ruined all of her chances at life yet. I am thinking that it was probably a timely lesson, and has probably saved her from some more hell, although it doesn't seem like it.
And being present, we at least make better parents, I am learing. Your honesty and experience will be her much more able to relate.
Peace,
Kerry
And being present, we at least make better parents, I am learing. Your honesty and experience will be her much more able to relate.
Peace,
Kerry
None- You sound like a great parent..
