Oh well just another sad story haha.,Been on the meth down 2 25ml now,but been usin 3 to 5 bags aday on top.Today ive cut the brown out again,sat here rattling.1 of many detoxes.Just cant be arsed with both habits.Suppose ill only feel like this for a couple of days.Not used now for 42 hours..Oh how we count the hours when were like this....Hope other folk r doin great all the best of luck paul xxx
Hi Paul,
Sorry to hear you're on the downside of the see-saw (back and forth, back and forth). But 2 days is amazing if you wouldn't have been able to 1 last month, right?? Keep your head up tho-u know it WILL be better in about 4 days, so if you're still counting the hours that's only another 24 away! Will you cut down your meth any further or stick?? Wondered how long you've managed before and whether you logged onto rooms like this on past attempts? Does it help?
Cookie
Sorry to hear you're on the downside of the see-saw (back and forth, back and forth). But 2 days is amazing if you wouldn't have been able to 1 last month, right?? Keep your head up tho-u know it WILL be better in about 4 days, so if you're still counting the hours that's only another 24 away! Will you cut down your meth any further or stick?? Wondered how long you've managed before and whether you logged onto rooms like this on past attempts? Does it help?
Cookie
Paul.... I've been going through he same thing and posted something on day#2 when I felt like I was going to die!!! I am now on day #5 and still have not used. Feeling better as each day passes!!!! There is HOPE dude so don't give up too soon. It's definitely a struggle but if you want your life back....You'll hang on!!! I'll definitely keep you in my prayers!!!! Jenn
Hi cookie,
Thanks 4 your kind words.Yeah i used this forum b4,i posted afew topics an replys when i first joined back in april this year.That was the last time i did my cold turkey.Yeah this place did help me through those long dark hours.I managed 2 stay clean a hole 7 weeks.Ive done many rattles.But i start using again after 6 weeks of bein clean,start with the dabble as u do.
Hi jenn,
Thanks for your prayers.How are you feeling at the minute?.Hope your feeling stronger with each passing minute.Im keep you in my prayers.
All the best to both of you and once again thanks for your replys greatfull as always.best wishes to both of you stay in touch.
Luv paul xxxx
Thanks 4 your kind words.Yeah i used this forum b4,i posted afew topics an replys when i first joined back in april this year.That was the last time i did my cold turkey.Yeah this place did help me through those long dark hours.I managed 2 stay clean a hole 7 weeks.Ive done many rattles.But i start using again after 6 weeks of bein clean,start with the dabble as u do.
Hi jenn,
Thanks for your prayers.How are you feeling at the minute?.Hope your feeling stronger with each passing minute.Im keep you in my prayers.
All the best to both of you and once again thanks for your replys greatfull as always.best wishes to both of you stay in touch.
Luv paul xxxx
Hi Paul, Each hour that passes is one you don't have to go through again, and one hour closer to freedom. Pain of withdrawals, A; doesn't last forever, and B; is the greatest of all teachers. And it never gives up. It will keep on beating you over the head with your "lesson" until you finally learn it. Never forget heroin is a choice. And every time you relapse you are choosing to go through what you are going through now. Hang onto that thought, coz it can take you a long way...
It did me, anyway. Clean from heroin since May 2005 and clean from subutex since March 2006.
You're doing great. Just get through to day 5 and you'll start feeling better. Day 6 and it's home and dry. Are you detoxing from your script as well as from heroin, or are you keeping with the script?
best wishes
Diff x
It did me, anyway. Clean from heroin since May 2005 and clean from subutex since March 2006.
You're doing great. Just get through to day 5 and you'll start feeling better. Day 6 and it's home and dry. Are you detoxing from your script as well as from heroin, or are you keeping with the script?
best wishes
Diff x
Hi Jeff,
explain my recovery? Hmm.
Well, my original doc was lorcets, then became any opiate that was made, then progressed to benzos. If it produced a feeling, I'd swallow it. Nearing nine years, I was a mess. You wouldn't have known it to see me. I was a pretty functional addict...on the outside. On the inside, I was a drug driven woman, miserable and without hope. I had heard of AA but thought it was only for alcoholics. I had no clue recovery was available for somebody like me. It was a very, very dark place to be, somewhere I never want to be again.
I typed in addiction one day on the computer and it lead me to this site.
Wow! People here had gotten clean and had answers! A little ray of hope started to shine through. In time I met a dear friend here who lead the way for me. I found that having somebody believing in you can work miracles in your life.
She told me what to do and I did it. I went to AA first, ended up in NA as it suited me so much better.
I got hyped up about quitting and tapered my way down to two a day. I faltered a little at two and realized I was dragging it out to long, so I jumped off.
Three days were unpleasant but I had so much support and laughter that it passed quickly. On day four I woke up feeling great. Better than great. I was free.
My recovery continues, it will never end. I hope that I will always continue to grow as a person, but I would hope the same if I had never been an addict.
I am no different or better than any other person here. There is nothing I did that anyone else cannot do.
Okay, your turn Jeff. You started this thread, lol.
xxxxxoooooo
mY TURN i CANT ANSWER SOMEON WHO FAILS TO UNDERTAND MY INITIAL QUESTION-
bT FAR YOU HAVE BECOME A MEMBER POF THE ELITE FREAK
jEFF
explain my recovery? Hmm.
Well, my original doc was lorcets, then became any opiate that was made, then progressed to benzos. If it produced a feeling, I'd swallow it. Nearing nine years, I was a mess. You wouldn't have known it to see me. I was a pretty functional addict...on the outside. On the inside, I was a drug driven woman, miserable and without hope. I had heard of AA but thought it was only for alcoholics. I had no clue recovery was available for somebody like me. It was a very, very dark place to be, somewhere I never want to be again.
I typed in addiction one day on the computer and it lead me to this site.
Wow! People here had gotten clean and had answers! A little ray of hope started to shine through. In time I met a dear friend here who lead the way for me. I found that having somebody believing in you can work miracles in your life.
She told me what to do and I did it. I went to AA first, ended up in NA as it suited me so much better.
I got hyped up about quitting and tapered my way down to two a day. I faltered a little at two and realized I was dragging it out to long, so I jumped off.
Three days were unpleasant but I had so much support and laughter that it passed quickly. On day four I woke up feeling great. Better than great. I was free.
My recovery continues, it will never end. I hope that I will always continue to grow as a person, but I would hope the same if I had never been an addict.
I am no different or better than any other person here. There is nothing I did that anyone else cannot do.
Okay, your turn Jeff. You started this thread, lol.
xxxxxoooooo
mY TURN i CANT ANSWER SOMEON WHO FAILS TO UNDERTAND MY INITIAL QUESTION-
bT FAR YOU HAVE BECOME A MEMBER POF THE ELITE FREAK
jEFF
Paul...I'm actually feeling alot better. Thanks for asking. I really dont know how to use this thing to well but I would love to talk to you more. I think it makes things alot easier when you have support! Let me know how you are doing.
Jenn
Jenn
Hi paul
I feel everything that you are going through. I was on meth last year and using on top with heroin and i ended up like you thinking now ive 2 habits to keep. I hated meth it made me really feel ill so i weaned off it and kept using heroin. I went on lofexidine in april and was rushed into hospital as my heart stopped couldnt handle the withdrawls and went back on heroin but i hate it so much and everything to me was tomorrow. Tomorrow ill stop i would say thinking it would be hard but not that hard. Ive been told 5 weeks ago im getting subutex but the hospital says i need to prepare as it is an expensive detox so they need to know im pysically and mentally ready. Its friday today and i havent used since sunday as i went to the hopsital on the tue thinking i was getting the subutex but they told me another staff shortage so i was to go back on heroin till they give me the detox. Ive not had heroin in 5 days now paul and i could easily caved in, but god knows how, i haven't and i never thought i could do it. My doctor gave me DFs to help with the withdrawls. All is not lost paul. We all deserve some happiness in life and you and me both know were not going to find it in a bag. The important thing is your trying and the old saying goes if you dont succeed try and try again. Please keep in touch and keep your chin up.
Yvonne xx
I feel everything that you are going through. I was on meth last year and using on top with heroin and i ended up like you thinking now ive 2 habits to keep. I hated meth it made me really feel ill so i weaned off it and kept using heroin. I went on lofexidine in april and was rushed into hospital as my heart stopped couldnt handle the withdrawls and went back on heroin but i hate it so much and everything to me was tomorrow. Tomorrow ill stop i would say thinking it would be hard but not that hard. Ive been told 5 weeks ago im getting subutex but the hospital says i need to prepare as it is an expensive detox so they need to know im pysically and mentally ready. Its friday today and i havent used since sunday as i went to the hopsital on the tue thinking i was getting the subutex but they told me another staff shortage so i was to go back on heroin till they give me the detox. Ive not had heroin in 5 days now paul and i could easily caved in, but god knows how, i haven't and i never thought i could do it. My doctor gave me DFs to help with the withdrawls. All is not lost paul. We all deserve some happiness in life and you and me both know were not going to find it in a bag. The important thing is your trying and the old saying goes if you dont succeed try and try again. Please keep in touch and keep your chin up.
Yvonne xx
Hey Yvonne-
WOW- 5 days off a hard kick!- CONGRATS!
I've been there, too, with heroin, pills, everything- I caved and went the sub route, after 3 days.
Have you been on sub before? I would really urge you to just stay strong and NOT do the sub- cause you'll still have to wd from that- and you're already through the hardest of the physical stuff- so why do it again?
However- if you are like me- it helped me break the habit of using rigs, and poppin' pills- but still...the wds are not intense but they still suck and last a while- I'd just hate for you to have to go through it twice, when you may not need to.
Hope that may help!
Good luck!
-N
WOW- 5 days off a hard kick!- CONGRATS!
I've been there, too, with heroin, pills, everything- I caved and went the sub route, after 3 days.
Have you been on sub before? I would really urge you to just stay strong and NOT do the sub- cause you'll still have to wd from that- and you're already through the hardest of the physical stuff- so why do it again?
However- if you are like me- it helped me break the habit of using rigs, and poppin' pills- but still...the wds are not intense but they still suck and last a while- I'd just hate for you to have to go through it twice, when you may not need to.
Hope that may help!
Good luck!
-N
ive never used subs before but the hospital are going to give me it for 10 days only then they said all going well they will put me on a blocker i think its called nitrexon. I so scared i use again thats why i think the sub will give me a chance to get a bit of quality of life and then the blocker hopefully will also help me get stable as im terrified as heroin been in my life for 5 years and i dont know how i will fill my days and night. I stay myself and dont have a partner but have good family support about me, but im so scared of the boredom, what will i do to past the time?, I suppose heroin been a companion to me and now its not there i dont know how im going to past time, i had major surgery last december on my foot so i had to give my job up working in a bar as the pain is so accute in my foot and i never sat with other addicts. I would go and get my bag go home lock the door sit myself all day but it didnt bother me then cause heroin was my friend it past the time for me, so i scared nothing really changes for me being clean, and i think thats a big concern for me as this last year been hell for me trying to get the proper help and no one cares especially the proffesionals ive been too all the advice they keep giving me is keep taking heroin instead of cold turkeying.
Yvonne
Yvonne
I totally feel you about heroin being your friend. I actually equate it more to a really f***ed up relationship. Like you know you have to let it go, but it's f***ing sooo hard.
The thing I am doing this time is going to NA/AA meetings- it actually does help. I was scared s***less the first time I went and the second and third- but it does help and they make me feel better everytime.
Have you tried one of the programs before. I just hear so much of me in your post, and I finally just had to try something. I didn;t have anything to lose. I'm still really new to all of it. But I find it the greatest thing.
I remeber during my clean time I just felt dead inside and bored as hell. So I totally relate.
The sub will be good if you need to get out of habits- BUT again you will still have to detox off of it at some point. And I know you've got to be feeling a little better today. It's ultimately up to you- just my caution. Maybe try a meeting instead of the bupe- or if you take the bupe- try going to a meeting too?
-N
The thing I am doing this time is going to NA/AA meetings- it actually does help. I was scared s***less the first time I went and the second and third- but it does help and they make me feel better everytime.
Have you tried one of the programs before. I just hear so much of me in your post, and I finally just had to try something. I didn;t have anything to lose. I'm still really new to all of it. But I find it the greatest thing.
I remeber during my clean time I just felt dead inside and bored as hell. So I totally relate.
The sub will be good if you need to get out of habits- BUT again you will still have to detox off of it at some point. And I know you've got to be feeling a little better today. It's ultimately up to you- just my caution. Maybe try a meeting instead of the bupe- or if you take the bupe- try going to a meeting too?
-N
Alright ..Paul..firstly congrats on 2days or so..i know how hard it can be..at least you have the meth. to cover the w/d a bit.As you know by past rattles the turkey can be tough..but the days&weeks following can be the hardest to stay off...us addicts can think of any harebrained reason for a lil treat after a bit of clean time.So be wary of the triggers&try to stay out of the smack scene as best you can.Take care&all the best ...Davey
