Hi Everyone:
I'm usually in the pain pill category, but I had some time today and was reading some of the posts here, and I can relate a lot. I guess Alcohol was my first love, but once I discovered pain pills alcohol pretty quickly fell by the wayside. Not, however, until I had done a lot of damage with the alcohol, i.e. wreaked cars, DUI's, wrecked friendships, etc., etc. By the time I discovered pain pills alcohol had already turned on me in many ways. Savage hangovers, blackouts, that horrible feeling the next day of remorse & wondering what I might have done or said. I could'nt handle that feeling so I totally quit drinking for years. The pain pills appeared towards the end of my drinking career.; To me, they were an answer to a prayer. While I had been a sloppy drunk, under the influence of pills, no one knew. Everyone saw I had quit drinking, didn't know about the pills so I was getting lots of atta-girls. I loved the pain pills, and unfortunetly still do. They've had there own sort of devestation on me, but alcohol had done so much so fast. I stopped everything for about 8 years. Went to AA/NA for a short while at the beginning, made some friends there, kept the friends but quit going to the meetings. Not because I didn't think they worked, because I could see they did, I just don't like to be in groups, or speak before a group at all, so I was a nevous wreak, couldn't share, couldn't relax, felt like I needed a drink before going, they were that anxiety riddled for me. The tools that I got there helped me though, and the friends I made, who had lots of recovery, thats who I started hanging out with. I don't know if alcohol hadn't started making me so physically and emotionally sick, I don't know if I could have quit. I'm afraid of it. Today, I sometimes have a drink or 2, not very often though, but it isn'tk difficult to put down after a couple I'm so afraid of how sick it'll make me if I don't. I was off the pain pills for 8 years as well, then I started dabbling again, then I had a bad accident, which lead to 5 months straight in the hospital. And 12 operations in about 18 months. Needless to say, I'm taking pain pills again. I don't know how it'll end but I did stumble across this forum which has been so great for me. Thanks for letting me share, and I'm interested in a few people who said they didn't go to 12 step meetings, Why? And what works for ya'll instead? And those who do go to 12 step, I'm interested in your thoughts and stories of hope too. I'm looking forward to any and all responses. Thanks so much!
Hi Iola,
I was an every day drinker for about 8 years. I have been trying to "cut down" for about 4 years. It was getting me into trouble, missing work occaisionly, embarrassing behaviour etc. For what ever reason I seemed to face up to my behaviour and stop denying where my drinking was taking me.
Somehow and I'm not sure how, I have managed to stop altogether. I think what brought matters to a head was being confronted (in a constructive manner by) about my behaviour by a fellow drinker; the same evening I drank myself into a stupor, behaved foolishly again and ended up with a horrendous hangover.
I was so dismayed by what I could remember of that evening that I made an apointment with my doctor to see if I could get a prescription for antabuse. I thought it would be impossible for me to quit without it. Atabuse is not legal in Canada, but just talking to the doctor was helpful. I have seen my doctor 3 times now and a D&A counselor once. At this this point I don't get much from speaking with the doctor or the counselor, but I do find this board very helpful.
I have abstained for over 5 weeks now. I admit it is tempting at times, alcohol is such a big part of social life it seems. It seems so harmless to have "just one or two" but I try and remind myself that with me "one or two" always equals six or more; it always makes me want to drink the next day as well. Sobriety feels good to me now that I have gotten used to it, the thought of being drunk doesn't appeal to me now. Its curious how temptation never reminds you of the hangovers and the fuzzy headed thinking that too much alcohol brings, it always reminds you of the first warm glow and being "part of the group". I find it hard to say no to alcohol in a social situation; there is such a stigma attached to the term "alcoholic" that it is hard to explain to people that know I used to drink that I have chosen to stop.
I try to remember what alcohol brings to me and where I want to be. Staying active on this board helps me remember. So far it has worked, it remains to be seen what the future will bring......
this is my story, so far.... Cookster.
p.s. does anybody know what ESH stands for? I'm curious, it seems to be and AA term.
I was an every day drinker for about 8 years. I have been trying to "cut down" for about 4 years. It was getting me into trouble, missing work occaisionly, embarrassing behaviour etc. For what ever reason I seemed to face up to my behaviour and stop denying where my drinking was taking me.
Somehow and I'm not sure how, I have managed to stop altogether. I think what brought matters to a head was being confronted (in a constructive manner by) about my behaviour by a fellow drinker; the same evening I drank myself into a stupor, behaved foolishly again and ended up with a horrendous hangover.
I was so dismayed by what I could remember of that evening that I made an apointment with my doctor to see if I could get a prescription for antabuse. I thought it would be impossible for me to quit without it. Atabuse is not legal in Canada, but just talking to the doctor was helpful. I have seen my doctor 3 times now and a D&A counselor once. At this this point I don't get much from speaking with the doctor or the counselor, but I do find this board very helpful.
I have abstained for over 5 weeks now. I admit it is tempting at times, alcohol is such a big part of social life it seems. It seems so harmless to have "just one or two" but I try and remind myself that with me "one or two" always equals six or more; it always makes me want to drink the next day as well. Sobriety feels good to me now that I have gotten used to it, the thought of being drunk doesn't appeal to me now. Its curious how temptation never reminds you of the hangovers and the fuzzy headed thinking that too much alcohol brings, it always reminds you of the first warm glow and being "part of the group". I find it hard to say no to alcohol in a social situation; there is such a stigma attached to the term "alcoholic" that it is hard to explain to people that know I used to drink that I have chosen to stop.
I try to remember what alcohol brings to me and where I want to be. Staying active on this board helps me remember. So far it has worked, it remains to be seen what the future will bring......
this is my story, so far.... Cookster.
p.s. does anybody know what ESH stands for? I'm curious, it seems to be and AA term.
Hi Lola,
Thank you for sharing your story. I won't bore you with my whole story. Long story short I have been addicted to pretty much everything at one time or another. Did speed for a long time. Quit that in April of 2000 but picked up heavy drinking after that. I did NA during that time which did help but it just wasn't for me. . My last drink was 9/05/05. I had been in hospital several times for pancreatitus caused from drinking. When I detoxed during my last stay in the hospital they made me comfortable with different drugs. From that day I decided to quit drinking.
Pills were never my thing but I know if given a chance I would abuse them. I had some surgery last year and was worried about the pain medication and was given some great advice over on your board. I followed that advice too.
Your question about why people (me) don't go to AA is a good one. For me I don't really have a good answer other than it just isn't for me. It is too religious for me. I know the higher power is what you believe it to be but I think that is why I have the most problem with it. I know they say to try several different meeting groups because every group is different. I have in the past been to all types. For me personally I felt as though alot of people were addicted now to AA. It was too preachy...many of the people who had been going there for a long time came off condescending in the meetings. Like their way was the only way. I just don't believe that. I do believe though if you have tried everything else and are still not sober...it is time to try something new. As "they" say...your way is not working. I do know it has saved millions of lives though so I have nothing against AA/NA...it's just not my thing. Not sure if that makes sense or not to you.
I will say that I know one thing for absolute positive. This board and many friends I have made here have been like meetings for me. It is my only sober support group other than a wonderful friend who lives on the other side of the world. These boards for the most part are structured around the 12 steps. I have remained sober because of the great advice and support I have been given here. So technically I am not in "A program" as they call it....but I know the steps and have applied many to myself from all of the support and advice I have been given here.
Thank you all whom have given me advice and support!
Peace and Sobriety Valarie
Thank you for sharing your story. I won't bore you with my whole story. Long story short I have been addicted to pretty much everything at one time or another. Did speed for a long time. Quit that in April of 2000 but picked up heavy drinking after that. I did NA during that time which did help but it just wasn't for me. . My last drink was 9/05/05. I had been in hospital several times for pancreatitus caused from drinking. When I detoxed during my last stay in the hospital they made me comfortable with different drugs. From that day I decided to quit drinking.
Pills were never my thing but I know if given a chance I would abuse them. I had some surgery last year and was worried about the pain medication and was given some great advice over on your board. I followed that advice too.
Your question about why people (me) don't go to AA is a good one. For me I don't really have a good answer other than it just isn't for me. It is too religious for me. I know the higher power is what you believe it to be but I think that is why I have the most problem with it. I know they say to try several different meeting groups because every group is different. I have in the past been to all types. For me personally I felt as though alot of people were addicted now to AA. It was too preachy...many of the people who had been going there for a long time came off condescending in the meetings. Like their way was the only way. I just don't believe that. I do believe though if you have tried everything else and are still not sober...it is time to try something new. As "they" say...your way is not working. I do know it has saved millions of lives though so I have nothing against AA/NA...it's just not my thing. Not sure if that makes sense or not to you.
I will say that I know one thing for absolute positive. This board and many friends I have made here have been like meetings for me. It is my only sober support group other than a wonderful friend who lives on the other side of the world. These boards for the most part are structured around the 12 steps. I have remained sober because of the great advice and support I have been given here. So technically I am not in "A program" as they call it....but I know the steps and have applied many to myself from all of the support and advice I have been given here.
Thank you all whom have given me advice and support!
Peace and Sobriety Valarie
Hi lola
thanks for sharing and for your questions.
ESH stands for experience, strength and hope and yes it is an AA term.
I do go to AA but I am not an "AA or the highway" type, and I'll admit there are a lot of those out there!!!!
A good friend of mine an OSM (older sober member) of AA often says that for an alcoholic there is no wrong way to stay sober and no right way to drink.
He's one of the most caring and non-judgemental people I've ever met.
The thing to be VERY careful of if you are struggling in sobriety/staying clean is why you don't like AA. Many, many people who say AA is not for them are using that as an excuse not to get clean/sober. I'm not saying that's your case, but I see a lot of that. Its just another excuse not to get sober.
I have a sponsor and I go to 1-2 meetings a week, I have several AA friends that I keep in contact with by phone and I find AA has helped me develop my relationship with my HP. Sometimes, like last night, its just a relief to have a place to go where there are people who will understand you.
Its a very personal thing. For me, most of my drinking was done at home in isolation, so I find its healthy for me to get out of the house and go to a meeting, rather than sitting home evenings - reminds me too much of my drinking days.
Personally, I agree with my OSM friend, whatever works for you is good - so long as it really is working.
The nice thing about AA too is that you can take what you need and leave the rest.
cheers
Idgie
thanks for sharing and for your questions.
ESH stands for experience, strength and hope and yes it is an AA term.
I do go to AA but I am not an "AA or the highway" type, and I'll admit there are a lot of those out there!!!!
A good friend of mine an OSM (older sober member) of AA often says that for an alcoholic there is no wrong way to stay sober and no right way to drink.
He's one of the most caring and non-judgemental people I've ever met.
The thing to be VERY careful of if you are struggling in sobriety/staying clean is why you don't like AA. Many, many people who say AA is not for them are using that as an excuse not to get clean/sober. I'm not saying that's your case, but I see a lot of that. Its just another excuse not to get sober.
I have a sponsor and I go to 1-2 meetings a week, I have several AA friends that I keep in contact with by phone and I find AA has helped me develop my relationship with my HP. Sometimes, like last night, its just a relief to have a place to go where there are people who will understand you.
Its a very personal thing. For me, most of my drinking was done at home in isolation, so I find its healthy for me to get out of the house and go to a meeting, rather than sitting home evenings - reminds me too much of my drinking days.
Personally, I agree with my OSM friend, whatever works for you is good - so long as it really is working.
The nice thing about AA too is that you can take what you need and leave the rest.
cheers
Idgie
Well put Idgie! I love the quote from your OSM. Awesome!
I never even thought about people using "AA not for them" as an excuse before. I guess because I am sober and when I was drinking I had no intention of quitting so AA was not even a real thought.
It was only after being in the hospital several times and they sent the social worker in to speak with me about rehab/detox and getting into a program. I suppose I was fighting it then on some level. Mostly because I didn't want to quit drinking. Thought my life as I knew it would be over. No more fun....boring at parties.....etc.etc...all the things we think when we face sobriety.
Luckily life is better sober. I am open to AA I suppose if I fall off the wagon. I used to keep AA on the burner with antabuse. As a last resort in my mind. Stinkin thinkin I know. LOLOLOL.....Besides....I have one big meeting here! At least for me it is! Thank you all for that!
Have a peaceful sober day!
XXOO Vally
I never even thought about people using "AA not for them" as an excuse before. I guess because I am sober and when I was drinking I had no intention of quitting so AA was not even a real thought.
It was only after being in the hospital several times and they sent the social worker in to speak with me about rehab/detox and getting into a program. I suppose I was fighting it then on some level. Mostly because I didn't want to quit drinking. Thought my life as I knew it would be over. No more fun....boring at parties.....etc.etc...all the things we think when we face sobriety.
Luckily life is better sober. I am open to AA I suppose if I fall off the wagon. I used to keep AA on the burner with antabuse. As a last resort in my mind. Stinkin thinkin I know. LOLOLOL.....Besides....I have one big meeting here! At least for me it is! Thank you all for that!
Have a peaceful sober day!
XXOO Vally
I guess I never really answered why I dont go to AA. I guess one reason is that I have been experiencing success without it. However the main reason I suppose is that I live in a small town (pop. 11,000) and I happen to be a school teacher , many people know of me. I feel uneasy about the fact that people might hear if I were to attend AA. I also tend to be quite reserved and going into a group of strangers under these circumstances is something that I find myself avoiding. However, if I find myself struggling to maintain sobriety I think I would reach out; I really don't want to go back to where I was.
I suspect that this board comes close being an AA meeting for me. There are so many wise and insightful people here who are going through and understand what I am going through.... I take a lot of inspiration and strength from this board.
I too liked the quote from Idge, "theres no wrong way to get sober..."
One day at a time.... Cookster
I suspect that this board comes close being an AA meeting for me. There are so many wise and insightful people here who are going through and understand what I am going through.... I take a lot of inspiration and strength from this board.
I too liked the quote from Idge, "theres no wrong way to get sober..."
One day at a time.... Cookster
Hi again!
Idgie, I just read your response to me on pain pill, and came back here to alcohol to read your response. Love what you said about no right way to drink, and no wrong way to stay sober. That makes a lot of sense. I've been to meetings in the past and I found them very helpful, I didn't go very long tho, but I did apply the tools I learned, and I made friends that I continued to stay friends with. I managed to stay clean & sober 8 years. Maybe if I'd continued to go, I wouldn't ended back using. Who knows? I think my chances would've been better had I stayed in the program. My only issue with the program was I really hate being in groups, it's almost a phobia, I can't really speak before a group, so it was very hard to share. It bothered me to a level that I'd almost get physically sick. I did get a sponsor, and I made friends, and got lots of support, I do one on one really well, its groups. I know that sounds stupid, but there it is. This forum is perfect for me because I don't get shy in front of a computer, theres lots of support, and I'm able to express myself well in writing. I look forward to talking to you again!
Cookster, I understand completely. And really, whatever works, works. I, too, find this forum like a meeting. So much support, so much love, really. No judgement. I look forward to talking to you again too! I usually post on pain pills but I was so impressed with what I got here, as far as understanding, etc. I'm going to continue to check in this category too. May I ask where you are? Not specifically, just as much as you're comfortable with. Are you in the states? I'm in a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia. I got the feeling you were in the UK, if you're not comfortable answering, please don't. I'm just curious. Also, Its reassuring to me that you're doing so well, but not going to meetings. One of the things about meetings is a lot of them feel that there way is the only way.
Idgie, I just read your response to me on pain pill, and came back here to alcohol to read your response. Love what you said about no right way to drink, and no wrong way to stay sober. That makes a lot of sense. I've been to meetings in the past and I found them very helpful, I didn't go very long tho, but I did apply the tools I learned, and I made friends that I continued to stay friends with. I managed to stay clean & sober 8 years. Maybe if I'd continued to go, I wouldn't ended back using. Who knows? I think my chances would've been better had I stayed in the program. My only issue with the program was I really hate being in groups, it's almost a phobia, I can't really speak before a group, so it was very hard to share. It bothered me to a level that I'd almost get physically sick. I did get a sponsor, and I made friends, and got lots of support, I do one on one really well, its groups. I know that sounds stupid, but there it is. This forum is perfect for me because I don't get shy in front of a computer, theres lots of support, and I'm able to express myself well in writing. I look forward to talking to you again!
Cookster, I understand completely. And really, whatever works, works. I, too, find this forum like a meeting. So much support, so much love, really. No judgement. I look forward to talking to you again too! I usually post on pain pills but I was so impressed with what I got here, as far as understanding, etc. I'm going to continue to check in this category too. May I ask where you are? Not specifically, just as much as you're comfortable with. Are you in the states? I'm in a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia. I got the feeling you were in the UK, if you're not comfortable answering, please don't. I'm just curious. Also, Its reassuring to me that you're doing so well, but not going to meetings. One of the things about meetings is a lot of them feel that there way is the only way.
Hi Iola,
I live in Terrace, Bristish Columbia Canada; its about a 50 miles south of the bottom of the Alaska panhandle and 100 miles inland from the coast. I quite like it, we are close enough to the coast the winters aren't too long and the mountains are beautiful.
I consider myself lucky to have found this board, as we said before it is so helpful. I don't know much about the other boards, but one thing I think makes this board work so well is (besides the wonderful people that post here) is the ongoing threads like "I'm grateful" and "I won't drink today because" . Not only are the good threads in and of themselves, but they seem to facilitate ongoing conversations, and are a way of keeping up to date on everyone's progress.
Bye for now, Cookster.
I live in Terrace, Bristish Columbia Canada; its about a 50 miles south of the bottom of the Alaska panhandle and 100 miles inland from the coast. I quite like it, we are close enough to the coast the winters aren't too long and the mountains are beautiful.
I consider myself lucky to have found this board, as we said before it is so helpful. I don't know much about the other boards, but one thing I think makes this board work so well is (besides the wonderful people that post here) is the ongoing threads like "I'm grateful" and "I won't drink today because" . Not only are the good threads in and of themselves, but they seem to facilitate ongoing conversations, and are a way of keeping up to date on everyone's progress.
Bye for now, Cookster.
I thought you were in the UK too Cookster!! Sounds lovely where you really are!
Love the monkey by the way!
Love the monkey by the way!
Hi Lola, I two tried AA a couple of rounds. The first isn't really worth mentioning. The second I went for about two months. I to found it's their way or no way. I was against the idea that you had to tell your sponser your whole life's story all of your secrets. Somethings are just private period! I went to 9 different groups & did find some better then others. I to struggled with trying to fit into the program. I feel uncomfortable speaking in front of people & felt anxiety so I sometimes would leave or hang outside and not go in. I realize this is also a social anxiety issue, & a self esteem issue along with being a private person. But, I suppose many of us feel this way. Something that I need to work on. Thats one of the great things about this board no face to face communication. I guess I communicate better in writing, plus I'm a private person. There were enough times that I felt to many judgemental attitudes. Like I said their way or no way. I witnessed to much hypocrasy for my taste. However, It's been 2 1/2 yrs. since I've been to a meeting. And I've had plenty of time to reflect on & off about AA. I've drank for over 20 yrs & the last decade hard. Although the last yr. much less. I was sober in AA for 33 days longest ever so obviously it helped. I learned many great tools there. And I'm reminded of them here on this board. As these AA people are so kind, helpful full of wisdom. And really do want to share their ESH. The non AA people are excellent as well. If it weren't for the people on this board sharing their stories & how they stay sober I would not have been able to surrender to the idea that I can't stay sober on my own. I've recently started seeing a counselor. The first one wasn't a match the second one I connected with even though I've only seen her once I can just tell. I also entered Intensive Outpatient Therapy Program. I went to my first group therapy today. It was excellent. I did do some research about the different programs & their modalities before I chose one. I do believe I'm going to need some type of support system after treatment. Whether that be AA or Smart Recovery. They have a link on this site about Smart Recovery I havn't researced much about it. But seems to be more based on Cognitive Behaviour then Spirtual. I'm not opposed to AA because of it being Spirtual as I believe in God. Actually it talks about those who believe in the AA book" Big Book" being harder to fit in. I couldn't figure out why when people said they received their miracle from their HP that their obsession to drink or use was gone. I couldn't understand why God didn't love me enough to receive this miracle. Which just added to my feelings of being unworthy. Maybe I just didn't wait long enough for it. I do beleive it will come. I just have to be patient with God. I'm being guided by my HP. Lola please don't give up. Please do whatever you have to get & stay sober one day at a time. For some of us it takes alot of work & time but it will be worth it. You Lola are worth it, your life is worth it. Addiction is addiction if you feel more comfortable & your receiving more help on this board please post here on this board. Take care of yourself. Love, Chris PS I live in Portland, Oregon. Feel really lucky to be an hour away from the Ocean & the Mountains. Now I should try & visit these beautiful places more often. Another goal take time to enjoy nature.
Hey Lookinup:
Thank you for your response. I totally understand what you said about AA & yes, I believe I have social phobia, its not just AA that bothers me it's being in a group, not just being in the group, per se - but speaking before a group. I don't like being the center of attention. It started in Jr. High, then in High school it was really bad because I always got a lot of (unwanted) attention. My dad was transferred a lot so I was the "new girl" and I think that brought on some of the attention. Girls always thought I was 'stuck up', when in reality it was shyness and almost no self-esteem (had a very abusive father). I started drinking at a young age (high school) on dates, or at parties, I found it calmed me down. I began to feel like I couldn't do anything without drinking. That went on for years, I drank heavily from age 15 to about 25, then alcohol turned on me and I discoved pain pills. But i digress. The point being, 12 step programs are great, and the steps are a good way to live your live, but I don't think thats the only way. I don't know that there are any studies to indicate how many people have quit & stayed clean without 12 step. What was the other program you mentioned? Tell me a little about it, or is there a book I can read? There's also a thing called (i think) Rational Recovery. Is that what you're talking about? There's also something I read years ago (can't remember the name but it was supposed to teach you how to drink responsibly. Of course I read it because I didn't want to stop drinking, needless to say, it didn't work. I think if I'd been able to drink responsibly I would've and I wouldn't have needed the book! I wish you the best and look forward to talking to you again.
Cookster, I bet its beautiful where you leave. I love mountains and I like cold weather, it gives me energy and puts me in a good mood. Have you been to ALaska? I would love to go there! My dream trip is the Alaskan cruise, how amazing would that be????
Thank you for your response. I totally understand what you said about AA & yes, I believe I have social phobia, its not just AA that bothers me it's being in a group, not just being in the group, per se - but speaking before a group. I don't like being the center of attention. It started in Jr. High, then in High school it was really bad because I always got a lot of (unwanted) attention. My dad was transferred a lot so I was the "new girl" and I think that brought on some of the attention. Girls always thought I was 'stuck up', when in reality it was shyness and almost no self-esteem (had a very abusive father). I started drinking at a young age (high school) on dates, or at parties, I found it calmed me down. I began to feel like I couldn't do anything without drinking. That went on for years, I drank heavily from age 15 to about 25, then alcohol turned on me and I discoved pain pills. But i digress. The point being, 12 step programs are great, and the steps are a good way to live your live, but I don't think thats the only way. I don't know that there are any studies to indicate how many people have quit & stayed clean without 12 step. What was the other program you mentioned? Tell me a little about it, or is there a book I can read? There's also a thing called (i think) Rational Recovery. Is that what you're talking about? There's also something I read years ago (can't remember the name but it was supposed to teach you how to drink responsibly. Of course I read it because I didn't want to stop drinking, needless to say, it didn't work. I think if I'd been able to drink responsibly I would've and I wouldn't have needed the book! I wish you the best and look forward to talking to you again.
Cookster, I bet its beautiful where you leave. I love mountains and I like cold weather, it gives me energy and puts me in a good mood. Have you been to ALaska? I would love to go there! My dream trip is the Alaskan cruise, how amazing would that be????
Hi Lola, On another board I found a link to a sight called www.reachingupforair.com. You can read about Smart Recovery & other programs in that sight. I've read a little about the Smart Recovery Program its theory is more based on cognitive behavioral. Which is the foundation of Rational Recovery movement. I've read that bk & it's good teaches about addictive voice recognition techniques " The Beast ". I believe niether SM or RR beleive in the disease model. I wish somebody would come up with a program that would incorporate those & AA. Maybe someday or perhaps there is one I don't know about. Anyway Smart Recovery has meetings face to face & on line. I beleive you said your in Atlanta, so I wouldn't be surprised if they have meetings in your area. Also theres one called Woman in Sobriety that has meetings in my area as well. Most of the woman have been abused,so perhaps this would be helpful to you. Keep posting,keep searching,keep asking questions. Lola never give up your worth it girl. If we lived in the same city would could go together. I only have two girlfriends who are so busy & aren't addicts. I never see them. I hope someday I can have some friends who understand. I know this sounds stupid but, I'm scared to go to any meetings alone. I've been married for along time & we have two daughters who are now out on there own. I'll let you know how I fare in group therapy @ out patient re-hab. I can tell you my first one this wk. was excellent & I didn't feel scared or anxious. Maybe I'm evolving,or perhaps I'm so scared about my alcoholism that I'm willing to do anything to get & stay sober. I don't want to die from this. My girls will still need me in the future. Ps. it's also one of my biggest dreams is to take a cruise to Alaska. Take Care Lola, Chris
Hi Lola & Lookinup, I know what you mean when you talk about social phobia. Our family moved to a new town just as I was going into grade 8; I was the new kid. I got a lot of unwanted attention (bullying). Ironically I work in a junior high school now. It was years before I could function in a group at all, its amzing how destructive those kinds of experiences can be....
I have seen some information on Rational Recovery on the web; I am deeply suspicious of that approach. The philosophy seems to be that once you understand that drinking is bad for you the logical thing to do is stop. Perhaps that approach works with some, but it has been my experience that you can't use logic to solve emotional problems. Alcohol abuse doesn't come from difficulties in thinking rationally, it comes from emotional problems. Healthy human contact is the only way to heal emotionally.
I have been as far as Ketchican Alaska, it was a very interesting little town. While its only about 100 miles from Prince Rupert it has been far more isolated because its on an island and it is a long way from the rest of the country it belongs to. I noticed big differences in the culture. The people I met there were very friendly. I'm sure Sitka, Juneau and Skagway would be interesting places to visit, there is a lot of history up there. If you get a chance, do go on a cruise up the Inside Passage and then pray for sunshine. When its not raining its soooo beautiful! I worked on a fishboat and have seen a lot of the coast; I have also paddled and rowed along most of it as well.
Bye for now.... Cookster
p.s. I curious what it was that made Lacey and Lola think I was from the UK..
I have seen some information on Rational Recovery on the web; I am deeply suspicious of that approach. The philosophy seems to be that once you understand that drinking is bad for you the logical thing to do is stop. Perhaps that approach works with some, but it has been my experience that you can't use logic to solve emotional problems. Alcohol abuse doesn't come from difficulties in thinking rationally, it comes from emotional problems. Healthy human contact is the only way to heal emotionally.
I have been as far as Ketchican Alaska, it was a very interesting little town. While its only about 100 miles from Prince Rupert it has been far more isolated because its on an island and it is a long way from the rest of the country it belongs to. I noticed big differences in the culture. The people I met there were very friendly. I'm sure Sitka, Juneau and Skagway would be interesting places to visit, there is a lot of history up there. If you get a chance, do go on a cruise up the Inside Passage and then pray for sunshine. When its not raining its soooo beautiful! I worked on a fishboat and have seen a lot of the coast; I have also paddled and rowed along most of it as well.
Bye for now.... Cookster
p.s. I curious what it was that made Lacey and Lola think I was from the UK..
couldn't figure out why when people said they received their miracle from their HP that their obsession to drink or use was gone. I couldn't understand why God didn't love me enough to receive this miracle. Which just added to my feelings of being unworthy. Maybe I just didn't wait long enough for it. I do beleive it will come
***********************
Hi lookinup - this really jumped out to me - boy I can remember being in meetings and just flat out not believing this one. I was so deep in the obsession I couldn't imagine what life was like without it.
Then one day I prayed and MY obsession was removed. It came back after a while but then was removed a second time. I still do get cravings from time to time, but that constant, awful obsession is gone.
My problem was I just couldn't figure out how to ask my HP for help, how to truly surrender. When I did that - the obsession was removed IMMEDIATELY. It came back because I gave in to a craving and had a drink.
Once I put down the drink again and surrended again, it was again removed.
Whether you believe it or not your HP loves you unconditionally - and you can't be loved any more than that.
take care
Idgie.
***********************
Hi lookinup - this really jumped out to me - boy I can remember being in meetings and just flat out not believing this one. I was so deep in the obsession I couldn't imagine what life was like without it.
Then one day I prayed and MY obsession was removed. It came back after a while but then was removed a second time. I still do get cravings from time to time, but that constant, awful obsession is gone.
My problem was I just couldn't figure out how to ask my HP for help, how to truly surrender. When I did that - the obsession was removed IMMEDIATELY. It came back because I gave in to a craving and had a drink.
Once I put down the drink again and surrended again, it was again removed.
Whether you believe it or not your HP loves you unconditionally - and you can't be loved any more than that.
take care
Idgie.
Hi lola...
When I first got sober I attended AA meetings...I did that consistently for 5-6 years...For the next 10 years I went on/off...more off than on but I would go occasionally...The last 5 years I have not gone to meetings...
For me...AA was what got me and helped me stay sober and gave me a guide to living...the 12 steps, the slogans, the ESH of others....
At the same time I had some issues with "personalities" in the rooms and it started to effect my inner peace (not my sobriety though)...
I used to be pretty militant...You have to be in AA to get/be sober...but I have learned that is not true...I believe what works for you (or anyone)...is the "right" thing or way...I know many who are sober and happy without AA and I know some who are sober and miserable without AA and with AA...It is individual...I still work a program today...I try to incorporate the steps in my everyday life...I still go to therapy and my therapist is supportive of "how I maintain" my sobriety...She is an addiction specialist, does encourage AA but she knows there are other ways...
Love Gina
When I first got sober I attended AA meetings...I did that consistently for 5-6 years...For the next 10 years I went on/off...more off than on but I would go occasionally...The last 5 years I have not gone to meetings...
For me...AA was what got me and helped me stay sober and gave me a guide to living...the 12 steps, the slogans, the ESH of others....
At the same time I had some issues with "personalities" in the rooms and it started to effect my inner peace (not my sobriety though)...
I used to be pretty militant...You have to be in AA to get/be sober...but I have learned that is not true...I believe what works for you (or anyone)...is the "right" thing or way...I know many who are sober and happy without AA and I know some who are sober and miserable without AA and with AA...It is individual...I still work a program today...I try to incorporate the steps in my everyday life...I still go to therapy and my therapist is supportive of "how I maintain" my sobriety...She is an addiction specialist, does encourage AA but she knows there are other ways...
Love Gina
