I wish I had some way to mourn the sister that i lost to addiction. The sister I loved is dead and replaced with a selfish disgusting human and I wish there was a grave or something i could visit to get closure on the sister i once knew.
I can relate. Addiction is a horrible experience to go through, watching the person you love turn into something else.
I recently had my son back (he was in recovery), and now he gradually keeps slipping back. He is turning selfish and mean again. So strange to watch how he changes when he uses drugs.
I have no advice tonight, just wanted you to know you are not alone.
I recently had my son back (he was in recovery), and now he gradually keeps slipping back. He is turning selfish and mean again. So strange to watch how he changes when he uses drugs.
I have no advice tonight, just wanted you to know you are not alone.
This is so true! Thank you for posting. We can't mourn what we lost, because we are so busy dealing with what we have now. It is so terribly to lose our loved one, and see the remains of the person we knew. Again, thank you for posting. We have to give ourselves permission to grieve what we lost, even if the "person" we lost is still technically alive.
That's the hardest part . . . mourning and grieving for our loved ones even though their hearts continue to beat and they are on this side of the grass. But while they are in active use . . . taking an Acela head-first towards destruction . . . all we can do is mourn what we've lost . . . including our beloveds.
Sending hugs from my broken heart to yours,
Lynn
xoxo
Sending hugs from my broken heart to yours,
Lynn
xoxo
Hi Md. So many of us can relate to your pain on this board. It IS a loss, and is absolutely agonizing with no closure. When my son was active in his alcoholism, I lost the loving, thoughtful, caring child I knew and he was replaced with a selfish, thoughtless shell of a person. I would ask him, "Are you still in there?" To top it off, my son's alcoholism would increase his depression and he would be suicidal, so he'd rage around and threaten suicide constantly. I was a complete wreck, feeling like I was always just waiting for that call that my son was dead. I didn't wish my son dead ever, but I was in such anguish and was so traumatized by my experiences that I wanted some type of closure so I would no longer be stuck in that purgatory of waiting for that phone call.
Loss isn't only the death of someone close to you, but the dreams you had that didn't come true. Addiction has stolen the sister you knew. I found it helpful to detach with love and to create some space so as not to continue to be exposed to the addiction.
Loss isn't only the death of someone close to you, but the dreams you had that didn't come true. Addiction has stolen the sister you knew. I found it helpful to detach with love and to create some space so as not to continue to be exposed to the addiction.
PS MD, please consider going to Naranon or seeing a therapist who specializes in addiction to help you work through these very normal feelings. I found both to be very helpful.
Lynn
xoxo
Lynn
xoxo
