I haven't written for quite some time.
Things have gone up & down with my son, but until recently he's stayed away from heroin. He was doing some binge drinking once every few weeks (which is also really bad since he has Hep C), but stayed away from the needle since July (after 8 1/2 months clean).
But as recently as this past week he's been using again, and I suspect more often than he's admitted to me.
He was dope sick all week (after having used on Sunday), and worked through it - coming down for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day.
But he was into that "f*** it - what does it matter" mode of thinking yesterday, and it just so happened that someone he used to get the stuff from called for a ride (to pick up a needle). My son declined, but after leaving our house last evening (with the idea that he'd rather call off work tomorrow than go), I haven't heard from him at all.
I've called, texted, paged him...but nothing.
I just don't know what to do....
I'm sorry, that's such an awful feeling, especially after things appeared to be looking up for a bit. When my daughter disappeared and didn't call or text I knew exactly what she was doing and sadly, there was not one thing I could do about it. What I did was freak myself out with worry, give up on my own recovery and jump to the worst-case-scenario, making myself physically ill in the process...and all it took was her being gone for 2 days to land me in that sick state.
They return in their own good time or not and we are powerless to change that. All we can do is work on our own lives, our own mental health, our own happiness, even when we don't think there is anything to be happy about.
I wish you peace and comfort and hope your son finds his way.
Peace ~ MomNMore
They return in their own good time or not and we are powerless to change that. All we can do is work on our own lives, our own mental health, our own happiness, even when we don't think there is anything to be happy about.
I wish you peace and comfort and hope your son finds his way.
Peace ~ MomNMore
There is nothing you can do JA, no amount of texting or calling will bring him home. Take care of yourself, concentrate on what other relationships you may have, husband, parents, friends whoever and then when he does return you'll be strong and and more ready to deal with whatever that brings.
Good luck.
K
Good luck.
K
I appreciate very much all of your wonderful support.
I did hear from my son later that day, and we had a long talk - heart to heart - which I'm always very glad we can do. I Trust what he has to say to me as True, though I am also always aware there are other truths he doesn't share for many reasons.
An amazing opportunity has arisen for him, and hope he'll consider it since the Universe seems to be reaching out.
In the meantime, I'm trying to stay hopeful....
Thanks again...
I did hear from my son later that day, and we had a long talk - heart to heart - which I'm always very glad we can do. I Trust what he has to say to me as True, though I am also always aware there are other truths he doesn't share for many reasons.
An amazing opportunity has arisen for him, and hope he'll consider it since the Universe seems to be reaching out.
In the meantime, I'm trying to stay hopeful....
Thanks again...
