Hi,
So I haven't drank since I got out of the hospital (I wrote scary hospital stay). I am struggling...some days. Not that I want to have a drink, I just wish I could be a social drinker. It sucks sometimes. I have this idea in my head that you can't have as much fun when you are sober. I feel like my husband wishes I was still that crazy fun party girl (he says he likes it way better when I am sober). I was always the life of the party, so I feel like I have lost myself. I don't really know who am anymore.I know I want to be a good wife and mother, so it is important that I never drink...ever. I just don't know why I am having these thoughts of wishing I could drink, and thinking that nothing will ever be fun again. I guess I am just having a bad day.
Thanks for listening....
Funny just writing my thoughts down has actually helped. I didn't realize how I actually felt until just now.
hello. I just thought id share a little with you. Im only realizing now just how strong the obssession to drink r use drugs really messes me up. I know i went through what you going hrogh riht now i couldnt believ that i still wanted to get high even afer all the pain it brought me. My sponsor helped me see that its an obssession and thats what gets me using again if i dont talk about it. It seems that the more i talked about wanting to get high the more I realized that this obssession was controlling all of my decisions, no matter what i did, i got cravings, so for three weeks all I did was read books to keep my mind occupied and after 3 weeks the obssession was lifted and the constant thoughts of getting high were gone. Now today i stil get crazy cravings but they dont control me so I am able to make decisins Wiser? I dont know(lol) but at least I know that these decisions Im making are based on how I feel and see things not based on an obssessin that is destructive. The bottom lin is, I talked ,prayed and kept my mind busy. it was hard but the obssession is gone today, so for me thats what worked and of curse the meetings really help, and a great sponsor.Good luck
