BUT
Sometimes do you ever get a flashback? Not of when you used, but before you ever used? Do you remember it? We so define ourselves by our drug use, recovery and so on, but I just had that flashback kind of thing.
I was posting to Kitte. Thinking about how I used to react to stuff.
For someone reason I got this flashback to my very first day in a new school. My mom so couldn't WAIT till the new school year but then again maybe my parents had to beat the rent or something. Naw, just kidding.
First she brings me NOt at the beginning of the day, BUT like an hour late. They march me straight into the room and the Nun tells the kids who are all staring at me "This is the NEW girl Brynda". RUKIDDINME? Anyway I spotted I'll call him Carl Cutie straight away and all was well. This is second grade. First row, first seat had to be the bad boy.
Anyway, they sit me next to this girl became my best friend for oh maybe 15 years. She whispers to me. I whisper back. Giggling proceeds. I am now PEGGED! The teacher comes down the isle and says "Am I going to have to seperate you two?" Then knocks our heads together Three Stooges Style.
Mindlessness I know, but we were not always addicts. It's cool too how we pretty much stay our same personality I think. You even see it in old photographs.
My daughter was over and we had a bunch of old pics out cause my nephew is moving. I'm like LOOK! Look you are all the same. He's giving the peace sign connected at the hip to my mom. She's holding the youngest who is a newsy barker looking at everyone else. My other nephew is at the end next to my own grandmom totally ignoring the entire situation. He's looking out into another room as if he's saying "You people bore me. I'm not paying attention."
My DD is on my grandmom's lap half on and half off looking like she's on speed with her big bow in her just ready to spring forth and laugh at something while monitoring everything else.
I'm in motion blur on the floor jumping into the picture cracking up while my mom is a proud grandmom with her big a*s auburn hair all teased up.
These are good memories. We all have them.
What's yours? There was a time when we hadn't ever used.
"Lest we forget" you're right after i read your post i took my old photo album out. Drugs may veil us but underneath we're still us.
For some of us, maybe thats the problem. But not me im bloody wonderful LOL!
